Loneliness among people in their early 20s: What it looks like and why connection feels difficult

This blog is part of a series written by Becky, junior designer at Rethink Mental Illness, called ‘5 things damaging young adults’ mental health that aren’t social media’  

Loneliness is a huge issue for people, like me, in their early 20s.

Making friends in your 20s feels practically impossible unless you like running and join a running club – which I absolutely despise!

I was lucky enough to have been halfway through my first year of university when COVID-19 hit, so I had the chance to have things like freshers’ week and meet a diverse range of people in my flat and halls. And if I wanted to go see my family, my home friends, or even be on my own, I could.

The people a year after me did not get that privilege.

They had to live in a flat with people on their course, they weren’t allowed to go out and socialise. They literally had to eat, sleep, and work with the same people – or alone – for months on end.

According to the Student Minds Hub, two thirds of students in the UK say they have ‘often felt isolated or lonely since March 2020’. You don’t have to be a mental health expert to know that’s not good for someone’s mental wellbeing.

I was also lucky to meet my partner at university. We were in the same flat in halls, so we got to meet organically not through social media or dating apps. However, from my friends who are not with anyone romantically I have heard it is practically impossible to meet people now a days.
 
They tell me that dating apps can be stressful places and that they don’t have enough confidence to go up to random people on a night out, partly down to the fact that the time we were supposed to be going out and mingling with people in bars we were in lockdown, so they never got that skill.

There’s also nowhere free to meet new people or hang out. A cup of coffee or a glass of wine is ridiculously expensive these days and, if you can’t afford it, then there’s nowhere to go.

Social media, when used well, can be a great source of social connection. But with the endless debate about its negative impacts and the possibility of an under-16 ban for social media, it is looking like younger people are set to be cut out from the digital space.

I don’t have a solution for loneliness in my age group. Everyone is different and experiences life differently. But I do believe we are a generation of understanding and supportive people. So, despite what I said about my dislike of joining a running club, there are definite benefits to joining a social group with like-minded people of a similar age.

Connecting with loved ones, volunteering in the community, or even setting up clubs at work or university are all great ways to feel more connected and combat social exclusion.