Talking to someone who is feeling suicidal over text message can be delicate and urgent. This guide offers compassionate, practical steps to listen, respond safely, and guide them toward immediate help and professional support.

1. Take their messages seriously

You are not an expert and not expected to know all the answers. 

But the fact they’ve reached out to you means they trust you and want to be heard.

Treat what they’re saying seriously – as it could be an emergency – and do what you can to stay as calm and kind as possible. 

2. Reply with understanding and care

Avoid trying to “fix” what they’re going through. Do not minimise what they’re going through by telling them to cheer up. 

Just listen to what they’re saying and validate their feelings.

If you feel comfortable doing so, ask if they would like to chat to you over the phone. Or to meet up, if appropriate or practical. 

If they don’t want to talk on the phone or meet up, then keeping contact over text is important. 

Things you might reply with:

• “Thank you for telling me. I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this.”
• “It sounds like you’re in a lot of pain, but you don’t need to face this alone.”
• “I care about you and want to help keep you safe.”
  
  

3. Ask directly if they’re thinking about suicide

People often think that speaking about suicide to someone feeling suicidal will make things worse. 

In reality, it makes people feel seen and heard. 

We know that when someone reaches the point that they have planned how they might end their life, the likelihood of them dying by suicide increases. 

So, knowing the truth is vital. 

Things you might ask:

• “Are you thinking about ending your life?”
• “Have you thought about how or when you might do it?”

If they say yes or you think they’re at risk, move to step 4 right away.

It might also be a good idea to gently find out:

• Where they are
• What they are up to
• If they’re with anyone

This will be useful information to pass on if you end up speaking to 999.

4. Get them connected to immediate help

Our ‘How do I manage thoughts of suicide?’ page offers tips for people thinking of taking their own life. You could text them this link to help them through it. 

You could also visit our ‘I want to talk to someone about how I am feeling’ page to share tips with them about opening up. 

Or encourage them to reach out to a trained listener right now. 

• Samaritans is free 24/7 to call on 116 123. or email: jo@samaritans.org
• C.A.L.M (Campaign Against Living Miserably) is available on 0800 58 58 58.
• The National Suicide Prevention Helpline can be called on 0800 587 0800.
• Papyrus HOPELINE247 is for people under 35. Call 0800 068 4141 or/ text 07860 039967 / email pat@papyrus-uk.org.

If they’re in immediate danger, call 999.

Or visit our ‘How can I get urgent help for my mental health page?’ for more advice.

Things you might say:

• “You don’t have to go through this alone. Samaritans are there all day and night to listen. Just call 116 123.”
• “I can stay here with you while you reach out.”
  
  

5. Stay connected until they’re safe

Keep texting while they wait for help or while they reach out.

Things you might text:

• “I’m here with you. Can you tell me where you are right now?”
• “You’re not alone. I want to make sure you’re safe.”
  
  

Not many people know that you can call 999 if you’re worried someone wants to take their own life. 

If they stop responding suddenly and you believe they’re in danger, call 999.

6. Follow up later

After the crisis and you know they’re safe, try to check in.

Things you might say:

• “How are you doing today? I’ve been thinking about you.”
• “Did you get a chance to talk to anyone from Samaritans?”
  
  

If you’re worried that they might still need some professional help, then suggest that they speak to their GP or NHS mental health team – if they haven’t already. 

Or recommend they visit our advice and information pages for more about mental health and mental illness. 

7. Take care of yourself

It’s not easy to be there for someone in a crisis. But know that you’ve doing the right thing. 

Once things have settled down, remember to get some support for yourself. 

You could reach out to a friend or loved one, or get in touch with the Samaritans for someone to listen to your experience.