“I needed to overcome stigma” – Jerome’s story

A stock photo has been used on this blog at the request of the author. 

Jerome explores his journey from experiencing psychosis in hospital to making it in the creative industry as a storyteller.

As a writer and filmmaker, I understand first-hand the effect storytelling has when it comes to making sense of our world. Over the last six years, I’ve worked to engage those with disadvantages in art, such as making feature films with young offenders and making documentary dramas with mental health service users.

However, this is one dimension of my experience. Another part of my experience is as someone who suffers from a mental illness and who has spent time in a psychiatric hospital.

Whilst suffering from psychosis, I found myself drawn into never-ending tales and mental adventures that powered my hallucinations and delusions, making me experience reality in an entirely different way.

This spiritual type of psychosis began in a harmless way at first, but eventually grew. It began to feed hallucinations and delusions that distorted my worldview and threatened my safety. Psychosis made me distance from family and friends, partly due to delusions making me think they were unsafe around me and partly as I didn’t want my family to see me in that state. This led to me spending time in a psychiatric hospital.

I was taught by a meditation teacher that we are not our thoughts; that thoughts come and pass with time, which gave me greater control of my mind. In hospital, storytelling ended up being a key aspect of my healing, despite being a contributory factor to my illness in the past. I’d often write narratives to my clinical team explaining my feelings or articles for magazines, like Asylum magazine. Whilst in hospital, I began using my community leave to visit a library, where I wrote a film script called 100 Mistakes over a number of months.

Almost seven years after leaving hospital, the film script I wrote as an inpatient was made into a feature film, screening on Apple TV. To this day I write a lot throughout the year, documenting my life experiences and using it to make sense of the past, present and future.

A university professor I’ve worked with told me that in narrative therapy, the underpinning idea is that we are the stories we tell ourselves and other people tell about us. And I can definitely relate to this. Owning my own story has been empowering, but more than that, it has given me the ability to control how I’m perceived in the world and seen to some extent.

The main stigma I faced was from clinicians themselves. During my recovery, I’d speak to my clinical team about business plans I had for the future and it was claimed these plans were grandiose. Interestingly, the majority of what I told my team I went on to achieve after discharge, like my business course and research projects.

These are two examples of how I needed to overcome stigma and prove my capability. I honestly believe the reason I was called grandiose is because there is a low expectation of achievements for those living with mental health difficulties. 

I’ve learnt that building relationships and showing compassion is the most important aspect of helping people with their needs. Creating caring conditions that enable growth in someone is more important than any target.