Coping with grief on mothers day and fathers day

Mother's and Father's day can be really difficult days for mothers or fathers who have lost a child or for those who have lost their mothers or father.

It can be difficult knowing that most other people are celebrating, whilst you are coping with painful feelings.

It can feel like everywhere you look there are Mother’s of Fathers Day cards and social media posts about it.

There are various things that might be helpful but these are unique to you and what works for one person, won’t be right for everyone.

Some of our suggestions include;

  • Take time to remember your loved one, look at photos, videos etc and focus on good memories.  You could do this alone or with others and share stories and support each other.

 

  • Minimise grief triggers for example avoiding social media or asking friends in advance to not discuss it with you.

 

  • Take time out for yourself - do things that make you feel good. Allow yourself to do whatever feels right to you. There is no right or wrong way to feel and there is no right or wrong way to spend the day.

 

  • Write down how you are feeling or do something creative to let out your feelings.

 

  • Do something to mark the day such as planting a flower or tree, visit a place that meant something to your loved one, eat their favourite meal or listen to their favourite music or light a candle for them.

 

  • Talk to someone about how you feel. Letting out the complex feelings surrounding your loss can help. This could be a friend or family member, a professional or a helpline such as Cruse Bereavement on 0808 808 1677 or Rethink Mental Illness GSHHL for support around suicide and self harm on 0808 801 0606 or text 07537 410022.

 

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