A chance to give back – Mike’s story

Mike lives with bipolar disorder and volunteers for our Brent Mental Health Service as a Befriender. He shares a bit about his role and how he supports people to get back into the community.

Why I chose to volunteer for Rethink Mental Illness

I was looking to do some volunteering, so I could have a chance to give back. I have a diagnosis of bipolar disorder type two. I used mental health services myself and I’ve had a lot of help over the years to get on my road to recovery.

I know how it feels to live with a mental illness and it can be a scary time, especially if people don’t have any friends or family around. If they lose hope, there’s a risk that they’d no longer be with us. So, if I can keep that flame of hope alive for someone by fanning it a little bit, then I can keep it burning. Being a befriender for Rethink is like cupping a pair of hands around that flame on a windy day.

I think isolation is a pretty big part of what people experience when they’re living with mental health issues. When I went to hospital and came back out, that’s when I felt the most isolated because I noticed friends and family looked at me a little differently or acted towards me a little differently. Not horribly, but you could see there was a barrier up because they weren’t sure what was going on with me and they’d only heard horror stories about my diagnosis. So, that made me feel a bit isolated in moments. But with the right help, you can learn to manage that feeling.

What a day looks like as a Befriender

A befriending service is when someone, with lived experience or not, meets up with somebody once a week in a place of their preference. Before you meet up, you have an ice-breaker where you can learn a bit about each other. You then make a plan of action and try to work out what their goals are. I think about the most important goals that I can help them achieve within the 12 weeks of time we have together.

In the first couple of weeks, I just listen and soak up what they say like a sponge. One of my strengths is figuring out where somebody’s heart lies. Once I find out a bit about them, I’d take anything with me on the day that I feel would move them forward, whether that’s information or an email address. Then we usually have something planned, like a museum and a cup of coffee in a cafe, where we can talk about the day. Towards the end, I make small suggestions that they can then take home with them and it’s entirely up to them what they do with that signposting.

One guy I worked with was a make-up artist and a set designer, so I managed to find him some voluntary work in a theatre to do hair and make-up. Once you get to know the person a little bit, a day as a Befriender can look fun. It can look rewarding.

Whilst working for Rethink in this role, I’ve heard clients say how peer support and befriending is such a great experience. It helps them to gain confidence by seeing an example of someone else who has managed to win a bit of their life back.

Being a Befriender puts a big spring in my step. There’s nothing more heartwarming than walking away from helping someone so selflessly. I just feel good in myself for having possibly helped somebody move a few steps forward in life. It’s nice to just shine a light in the dark.