“I can’t imagine ever feeling good again” – Georgie’s story

After years of navigating bipolar disorder without a diagnosis, Georgie finally found support through friends, therapy and Rethink Mental Illness’ Advice and Information Service. Now, she’s fundraising for Rethink to help others.

My experience of bipolar disorder

This year, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder type two. My experience is defined by stark shifts in mood that change my thoughts, feelings and behaviour.

Each year, I have at least one ‘high’ mood lasting a few weeks. This is hypomania. It gives me a relentless, buzzy energy, like my heart is soaring. I can get by on just a couple of hours of sleep. I’m so excited - life feels full of possibility and I feel invincible. I want to do everything, all at once. My speech speeds up and I tend to have lots of big ideas. I might even get some of them off the ground. I tend to spend more money than usual, make quick decisions and find it irritating when others can’t match my pace. After a few days, I desperately need to switch off, but rest feels impossible.

But what goes up must come down. After a period of relative balance, I enter a ‘low’. For me this starts with a persistent anxiety, where everything feels slightly off, that then slides into depression. Nothing cheers me up or feels worth doing. I sleep badly, but struggle to get out of bed. I clam up and find it hard to socialise or think beyond myself. After my last low, I also experienced dissociation – detached and almost watching myself go through the motions, rather than feeling like me.

One of the hardest parts of bipolar disorder is how alien one state feels from the other. In a high, I can’t understand the heaviness of a low, even if it was only a week earlier. In a low, I can’t imagine ever feeling good again. It’s as if the world loses all colour and a negative inner voice takes control. Then hypomania hits and suddenly everything is vibrant and full of potential.

How I found support

Looking back, I realise I’ve been experiencing these episodes for over fourteen years. The lows began in my early twenties and grew more severe as life stressors increased. From what I’ve read, on average a bipolar diagnosis takes over nine years.

It was becoming a mum and going through bereavement that first prompted me to appraise my own mental health. Even with that self-awareness, it was still years before I looked into mood disorders. I’ve realised how many misperceptions I had about mental illness, and how much of a barrier they were to finding answers sooner.

I feel very fortunate to have had a supportive GP and expert psychiatrist. I found cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) hard, but ultimately very helpful. I’m even more grateful for family and friends who stood by me. Often my husband or my mum can recognise a high mood before I do. I’ve also joined a WhatsApp peer support group for women living with bipolar disorder. The solidarity is invaluable.

Alongside therapy and family support, I’ve used Rethink’s resources and lived experience blogs. I got in touch with the helpline for advice on reasonable adjustments navigating a restructure at work. The helpline talked me through Rethink’s workplace guide and also gave me contact details for organisations who might advocate on my behalf. The advisor was friendly and very supportive, which made me feel at ease. They were also very knowledgeable about services in my local area. 

Why I'm fundraising for Rethink

I’m discovering how important sleep, routine and exercise are for staying balanced. I’ve always liked swimming and resolved to go more regularly. I found my local (heated!) lido and now go throughout the year, come high or low. Once I’ve faced a bracing winter morning dip, the rest of the day feels more manageable. I also enjoy open water swimming, so I decided to sign up for Swim Serpentine and fundraise to help Rethink support more people.

While searching for a distinctive fundraising idea, I came up with ‘The 2026 Wordle Cup’. With the football World Cup on, and Wordle having become a small daily anchor during my last low, it felt like a natural fit. There were over forty players, aged 6 to 78, from across the UK, France, Italy, Canada and Argentina. On key match days, we played the Wordle and competed on a leaderboard. Seeing everyone get into the spirit has been so motivating, helping me raise over £850 so far.

Post diagnosis, I feel more resilient and hopeful. I’m identifying how to manage my mood, medication and routine. Services from charities like Rethink are vital. I want anyone going through diagnosis, living with a mental illness, or supporting a loved one, to be able to find the right help. I firmly believe it’s the time and support we give one another, no matter how small it may seem, that makes all the difference.