Stress - How to cope

If you are struggling to cope with life pressures, you might be stressed. This section explains the common symptoms and causes of stress. It also looks at some of the ways you can try to reduce stress.

Overview

  • Most people feel stressed sometimes.
  • Some stress can be helpful. Too much stress may make you ill.
  • Stress affects everyone differently, but there are common signs you can look out for.
  • There are many different causes of stress. Stress is not an illness itself. But it can make you unwell if it is very bad or if it lasts a long time.
  • You might not be able to avoid stress but there are things you can do to manage it.

About

What is stress?

Stress is the feeling of being under too much mental or emotional pressure. When you are stressed, your body releases stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol.

Stress is your body’s reaction to help you deal with pressure or threats. This is sometimes called a "fight or flight" response. Your stress hormone levels usually return to normal once the pressure or threat has passed.

A small amount of stress can be useful. It can motivate you to take action and get tasks completed. It can also make you feel alive and excited. But too much stress can cause negative effects such as a change in your mood, your body and relationship issues.

Signs and causes of stress

What are the signs of stress?

Stress affects different people in different ways. Below is a list of some of the common signs. Some of these things will not apply to you. You may have other signs of stress that we have not listed.

Physical Mental Behaviour
Headaches Worry about future or past Crying
Sweating Imagining the worst Eating more or less
Stomach problems Being forgetful Biting your nails
Muscle tension or pain Not concentrating Avoiding others
Feeling tired or dizzy Feeling irritable Sleep problems
Sexual problems Racing thoughts Rushing tasks
Fast heartbeat Going over and over things in your mind Drinking or smoking more
Dry mouth Making mistakes Being irritable
Short of breath Feeling low Being snappy

What causes stress?

Almost anything that affects your daily life, work or relationships can cause stress. Even seemingly small issues can cause stress if they go on for a long time. Some people are more affected by stress than others. It can depend on factors such as your personality, upbringing, your work and home life.

Situations or events that seem positive can cause stress, such as having a baby or getting married. If you feel stressed in these situations you may struggle to understand why. You may not feel that you can talk to anyone about your feelings or struggle with guilt. But feeling stressed in these situations is very common.

Below are some examples of things than can cause stress.

Situation Event
Not having a job Getting married or divorced
Not sleeping well Being diagnosed with an illness
Money worries Moving house
Work problems Having a job interview
Being bullied Someone close to you passing away
Problems looking after children Being evicted from your home
Health issues Leaving hospital after a long stay
Family or relationship problems Going to court
Not having a routine Going to a benefits assessment

Are stress & mental illness linked?

Are stress and mental illness linked?

Can mental illness cause stress?

Having a mental illness could cause stress for many reasons such as:

  • having to give up work because you are unwell,
  • spending too much money when you are unwell and get into debt,
  • having issues with welfare benefits,
  • being discharged from mental health services but don’t feel ready,
  • not getting on well with your doctor, care coordinator, or anyone else involved in your care,
  • being worried about how long it will take you to recover from your illness,
  • not knowing how to manage your symptoms, or
  • being worried about side effects if you are taking medication.

Can stress cause a mental illness?

Stress is not an illness itself, but it can lead to you becoming unwell. For example, if stress lasts for a long time it can lead to anxiety and depression. Experiencing a very stressful or traumatic event could cause post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Stress can make an existing mental illness worse. Such as causing a psychotic relapse.

You may use alcohol or drugs to deal with your stress. But if you do this on a regular basis you may need to seek support. Using alcohol or drugs in the short-term may help you to cope. But it may make your mental health worse in the long term.

You can find more information about:

  • Recovery by clicking here.
  • Anxiety by clicking here.
  • Depression by clicking here.
  • Post-traumatic stress disorder by clicking here.
  • Drugs, alcohol and mental health by clicking here.

Self help

How can I help myself?

There are things that you can do to help reduce your symptoms of stress. This is also known as self-care. There isn’t a set process for where you should start, or what you should do, everyone is different. You may need to try different things until you find what works for you.

Stress diary

If you don’t know what is causing your stress, it might help to keep a ‘stress diary’ for a few weeks. It may help you to identify things that you may be able to change.

You could write down when you feel stressed. You should include what happens just before or after you feel stressed.

It could also help you to identify things which can make you unwell. These things are known as ‘triggers.’ Identifying your triggers can help you to have more control over your stress levels.

There is a template for a stress diary at the end of the factsheet, which you can download by clicking the link at the top of this page.

Get practical advice

You may be able to take steps to change the cause of your stress. There are lots of places you can get practical advice on different issues. An advice service may be a good place to start. They may be able to support you to solve an issue. For example, you may want advice on:

  • housing,
  • benefits,
  • money or
  • employment.

You can find details of different organisations that give practical advice in the ‘Useful contacts’ section at the bottom of this page.

Manage your money

Money can cause many different issues such as poverty, debt and relationship problems.

Making a budget sheet could help. This will help you work out what you can afford to pay.

If you are worried about your debts, there are places that you can get advice and support, such as StepChange, Citizens Advice and National Debtline. Their contact details can be found in the ‘Useful Contacts’ at the bottom of this page.

You can find more information about:

  • Debt and money management by clicking here.
  • Options for dealing with debt by clicking here.

Plan your time

If you plan your time this can make you feel more in control of things. Here are some ideas that could help you do this:

  • write lists of what you need to do,
  • prioritise the most important tasks,
  • share tasks with others if you can,
  • don't put things off, and
  • set yourself steps and goals for complicated tasks.

Remember to reward yourself for any achievements.

Talk to someone

Telling someone how you are feeling may help with stress. It can help to ‘offload’ your worries. You may feel comfortable talking to someone you know. Or you might prefer to talk to someone who doesn’t know you. You could call an emotional support line or see a counsellor. We have added some emotional support lines at the bottom of this page.

Make lifestyle changes

Limit your caffeine intake
Coffee, tea, energy drinks and chocolate contain caffeine. Reducing your caffeine intake could help you sleep better. Especially if you reduce it in the evening. You could have herbal tea, a warm milky drink or warm cordial instead.

Exercise
Exercise can relieve stress. It can also help you to stay healthy. There are lots of ways to exercise, and people enjoy different things. You could try cycling, walking, running, team activities or going to the gym. Doing housework or gardening is also a way to exercise.

Get enough sleep
If you’re dealing with stress you may struggle to sleep well. If you don’t get enough sleep this can cause problems such as poor concentration and low mood. Long term sleep issues can lead to mental health problems such as anxiety and depression.

If you struggle with sleep, you can try to:

  • talk to your doctor,
  • refer yourself for talking therapy, or
  • practice sleep hygiene.

Sleep hygiene means things like:

  • having a regular bedtime routine,
  • only using your bed for sleep,
  • exercising regularly but avoiding lots of exercise too close to bedtime,
  • cutting down on caffeine, especially in the evening,
  • making the place you sleep is a comfortable temperature,
  • making sure the place you sleep is dark,
  • not using your phone or computer immediately before bedtime, and
  • making sure that the place you sleep is tidy.

Eat a balanced diet
Eating a healthy balanced diet is good for your mental and physical health.

You can get more information on exercising, sleeping and eating a balanced diet from the NHS. You can find this by following this link:

www.nhs.uk/live-well/

Do something nice for yourself every day
It is important to do some things because you want to, not because you have to. This could include reading a book, watching a film or eating something you enjoy.

Online resources
There are websites which give information about how to manage your mental health. There are also websites which explain how you can use cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) techniques to improve and manage your mental health. These can also be used for dealing with stress.

Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is a type of meditation to help you to be aware of the present moment and pay attention to it. This can help to deal with symptoms of stress, depression and anxiety. You may be able to find online mindfulness course through YouTube or apps.

Use relaxation techniques
Relaxation can help you to deal with stress. And stop you from getting stress. Some people relax using meditation, aromatherapy or yoga.

You can find out more about:

  • Complementary and alternative treatments by clicking here.
  • Recovery by clicking here.

Sara's Story

Sara has a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. Recently she has started drinking more alcohol and has had difficulty sleeping. She is not sure why. Sara decides to keep a stress diary.

Keeping the diary has made Sara realise that she tends to be most stressed in a morning. She feels tired, irritable and is snappy with her children on most school days. Sara also struggles with guilt when she snaps at her children. She believes that she drinks alcohol to deal with these feelings.

Sara decides to make an appointment with her doctor to see if her medication is making mornings more difficult for her to cope with. She also talks to her doctor about her concerns with guilt and alcohol.

Her doctor reviews her medication. And makes a referral for her to have talking therapy. The doctor also gives Sara advice on how to get a better night’s sleep.

Sara realises that she struggles less with symptoms when her partner is with her. She talks to her partner about getting more support from them before school. Her partner talks to their employer about changing their working hours. The partner is able to give Sara support before school for 3 days per week.

This support has made Sara less reliant on alcohol. And more able to cope.

Sara has decided to use the ‘Staying well with bi-polar’ guide. She feels that this will help her to manage her mental wellbeing. You can find this guide by clicking here.

Can my doctor help?

Can my doctor help?

You can speak to your GP if you are struggling to cope with stress. Struggling to cope with stress may include the following.

  • You are struggling to do everyday things.
  • You have stopped looking after yourself.
  • You are taking more time of work.
  • You have thought that life is not worth living.
  • You are using drugs or alcohol to cope with how you feel.
  • You have felt very low or hopeless for 2 weeks or more.
  • You no longer enjoy anything.
  • You are having panic attacks.

It may help you to write down a list of the main points and questions that you want to discuss with your GP. This can be helpful if you are feeling anxious or worried.

If you have kept a stress diary you could take this with you. See the previous section for more information about a ‘stress diary.’

Your GP could offer:

  • self-help advice,
  • stress management classes,
  • talking therapy,
  • medication, or
  • support groups in your area.

You can find more information about:

  • GPs- what to expect from your doctor by clicking here.
  • Talking therapies by clicking here.

Further reading

Books

You can find books about how to manage stress from your local library. Or you can buy books or audio books from online websites such as Ebay or Amazon.

If you are not sure what books to try you could read customer reviews. This may help you to decide where to start.

Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP) Plus. Formerly living without Depression and Manic Depression - Mary Ellen Copeland, PhD.

The Wellness Recovery Action Plan® or WRAP® is a self-designed wellness process. You can use a WRAP to get well, stay well and make your life your own. It was developed in 1997 by a group of people who were searching for ways to overcome their own mental health issues and move on to fulfilling their life dreams and goals.

Website: www.mentalhealthrecovery.com

Mental Health UK

They provide information on managing work related stress. You can find this by following the link:

www.mentalhealth-uk.org/best-working-life/

Useful links

Practical Support

Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service (ACAS)
Provides free and impartial information and advice to employers and employees about workplace relations and employment law, including the Equality Act 2010.

Telephone: 0300 123 1190. Monday to Friday 8am to 6pm
Website: www.acas.org.uk

Citizens Advice
Offers free, confidential, impartial and independent advice. They advise on benefits, housing, debt and other issues face-to-face or over the phone or webchat. Most areas of the country have a local Citizens Advice service. Search on their website for your local service.

Telephone England: 03444 111 444
Telephone Wales: 03444 77 20 20
Website: www.citizensadvice.org.uk

National Debtline
Provides free, independent and confidential advice about debt. You can contact them over the telephone, by e-mail or letter.

Telephone: 0808 808 4000. Monday to Friday 9am to 8pm and Saturday 9.30am to 1pm
Address: Tricorn House, 51-53 Hagley Rd, Birmingham B16 8TP
Webchat: through the website
Website: www.nationaldebtline.org

Shelter
A housing and homelessness charity offering specialist advice on a range of housing issues.
Telephone: 0808 800 4444. Monday to Friday 8am to 8pm, and Saturday and Sunday 9am to 5pm

Website: www.england.shelter.org.uk/

StepChange
Provides free, confidential advice and support to anyone worried about debt. You can contact them over the telephone or online.

Telephone: 0800 138 1111. Monday to Friday 8am to 8pm and Saturday 8am to 4pm
Address: Wade House, Merrion Centre, Leeds, LS2 8NG
Webchat: through the website. Monday to Friday 8am to 8pm and Saturday 9am to 2pm
Email: through the website
Website: www.stepchange.org

Emotional Support

Samaritans
Available 24 hours a day. They provide confidential support for people in emotional distress. They offer a non-judgemental service and can be contacted by telephone, letter and e-mail. There's also a face-to-face service available at their local branches.

Telephone: 116 123
Email: jo@samaritans.org
Website: www.samaritans.org/

Sane
UK mental health charity aiming to improve the quality of life of anyone affected by mental illness. Including family friends and carers.

Telephone: 0300 304 7000. 4:30pm -10:30pm everyday
Email: through the website
Website: www.sane.org.uk

Support Line
Offers help to people on any issue. They provide non-judgemental, confidential support and advice to help you to find ways of coping with a particular problem. They can also be contacted by post and email. Helpline opening hours vary.

Telephone: 01708 765200
Email: info@supportline.org.uk
Website: www.supportline.org.uk

Relate
They are a charity who provide relationship counselling. They can provide counselling over the phone, live chat, webcam or face to face. You have to pay a fee to use Relate. If you want to contact them with a general enquiry or book an appointment, you will have to find your nearest Relate and give them a call through their website.

Website: www.relate.org.uk

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