[Wolfwoman]

I was wondering how do people tell other people that they have mental heath issues particularly someone that you like and maybe want to start a realtionship with,i was seeing someone for a while and when they guessed i had mental health issues they fell out with me because they said i wasnt being honest and now i am nervous about meeting someone new incase they find out but if you are in a realtionship should you be honest. and people that have told their other halfs about their problems did they get a postive response or a negative one?

[Byronic Antihero]

I was lucky. My wife recognised my symptoms (her mother was bipolar) and had enough experience of living with a bipolar relative that she wasn't fazed by it. She and I were married before it became obvious and I went through the diagnosis with her full support. Nothing changed about me; I was still the same person, but now with a word to describe why I had off days.

Personally, I think there should never be a need to disclose anything about your mental illness unless it affects the other person directly or puts them at risk. I might understand if you hid being HIV positive or if you turned into a werewolf on the full moon, but saying 'I have a mental illness and it is called...' is just putting a name to something that you would hope they were already aware of if they actually spent much time with you.

[Deleted Member]

im always honest about my ilness to anybody and if they cant get past that then its there loss,av,nt ad no problems up till now

[ramboself]

I think the person who finished with you saying you hadn't been honest, the real reason was mental illness and they'd have finishe with you if you'd mentioned it, i've met a lot of women who make claims like that, women are like that always in the right

[bubbles]

I haven't normally told people unless it necessary, I tend to take it out on other people when I have my off days. My boyfriend knows I go to therapy sessions sometimes but we haven't fully spoken about the reasons why. I'm starting to think that I do need to talk to him about it as recently it's been pretty bad and I want him to understand that it's not him.
I wouldn't be completely honest about it until there's need to, but sometimes it's nice to be able to talk things through with those closest to you, especially when you're going through a tough time. Being in a relationship means sharing things about yourself, and if sharing your mental illness with them means you've got someone to lean on and someone that understands, I can only see it as a good thing.
Anyone who breaks it off because you have a mental illness is not worth being with in the first place, you want someone who is there for you.

[Universal Credit]

The illness does make a nice sieve for finding a tolerant partner. If there is a good side it is that the prejudiced are thrown out of the matrix of choices so although it is a limited hand in partner choice you dohave a good hand with this illness if you play the cards like nature intended...with blind love.

[Defiant_fighter]

I don't tell people if it not neccessary either, it's not something everyone has to to know in a way i think. Though i get Wolfwoman's point that not everyone can understand things though i would argue that it is understandable things like this are not something everyone will feel comfortable talking about, i find it isolating myself, i have a few good friends who support me no matter what but as i'm sure a lot do, i would love to have special someone too but a lot of the time, i think the reality is lot more negative in my mind. Can people understand what i feel on the subject? x

[manic666]

I would tell people if you want a relationship, then if they say its ok an thanks for telling me its cool, I find i get people that didnt no of my illness ask why i dont work now after years of working.I say because i had a breakdown an leave it at that, what they think after is up to them im not fussed.

[Aladinsane]

It would really depend upon the situation, as I'm an upfront person I would personally disclose, however most people would have usually guessed by that point, it I think is a personal thing and people should do what feels right for them.

[Can't be bothered]

I'm always straight down the line with people, I have found most people are more understanding than I expected, I don't ask for anything just a little understanding if I do something 'wrong.'

[bubbles]

At the end of the day, you never have to tell people something if you don't want to and if you don't feel comfortable telling them then it's probably a sign you shouldn't. I told (relunctantly) a girl at uni who I thought was my best friend, she seemed to understand but then in an argument she used it against me claiming that it wasn't an illness it was an excuse.
From then I haven't told anyone new, but I think if you're in a relationship with someone you need to be able to fully trust them and the idea is that they know everything about you and vice versa. What is a relationship if you can't tell them everything?! It also could come up and something happen, and it's good for the other half to understand what's happening to be able to help you through it if you do have another hard time or whatever. I've had a really tough time recently but because we've both been at uni I haven't told my boyfriend yet (we were at separate unis 4 hours away), but now we're both back home and graduating I feel I need and want to explain everything to him, and I know he'll be fine with it. If anything, it will explain a few things!
I don't think you need to tell someone on a first date, but when it matters and you feel comfortable with that person, there shouldn't be a problem.