[ebonycat]

After 30yrs and 20 of them coping with my schiz my partner is having trouble seeing me as a person other than someone he has to be a carer for. His solution is to move out.Our sex life is ruined by the anti psychotic drugs and he has depression. We are under each others feet 24 hrs a day and this leads to tensions. But the biggest hurdle is he has stopped seeing me as a person I m just schizophrenic.
I spent the last 4 days crying and grieving but I know that he is right .He needs his own space and not to have to worry that I might be ill.

[ramboself]

I wish i knew what to say, my relationship i don't know where i stand, she wrote to me saying she doesn't want me coming round or phonong her, saw her at the car boot sale i suspect she's come off meds, that could be me thinking any women who finishes with me is mad, could be she was mad to put up with me

[Monkerty Tunkerty]

ebonycat, on 13 March 2012 - 07:50 PM, said:

After 30yrs and 20 of them coping with my schiz my partner is having trouble seeing me as a person other than someone he has to be a carer for. His solution is to move out.Our sex life is ruined by the anti psychotic drugs and he has depression. We are under each others feet 24 hrs a day and this leads to tensions. But the biggest hurdle is he has stopped seeing me as a person I m just schizophrenic.
I spent the last 4 days crying and grieving but I know that he is right .He needs his own space and not to have to worry that I might be ill.

be easy on yourself, take care, Bob

[marykate4400]

Hi - please don't be too hard on yourself. I think you need to cry, vent, grieve and get it out of your system.

One fact you must always remember though - nothing is ever set in stone. Life is fluid.

I am having problems accepting the fact that this illness of mine will never be gone, and that I just have to manage and cope as best I can. My hubby is having an even more difficult time. He still believes that there will be an end point whereby I will totally recover sometime soon. He struggles with the fact that this may be as good as it gets. I'm not sure he will be able to accept that after all - and when he makes his mind up, he may end up deciding to leave me too, something I could never bear.

It has just happened to a close friend of mine - her hubby has told her he has reached his limit, and has packed up and left her, the day after he drove her home from when she was discharged from a mental health unit .

I think that different people have their different limits on how much suffering and hardship they can tolerate. Which goes for those that have a mental health problem and their carers. The line delineating between lover/partner and someone needing to be cared for is wafer thin, but still exists. Our respective partners need to see beyond our illnesses to the individuals that we are. Ultimately though, we need to see ourselves in that light too. The adage goes something like the illness should never define who we are.

So live your life. Go on. Be yourself. Give yourself permission to indulge in treats just for YOU. Eventually, as you learn that you are indeed MORE than your illness, the people around you in your life will also come to see things in this vein. And ultimately, if the love between you and your partner was there to begin with, it may blossom again into something fresh and new. With one chapter finished, so a new one always begins! Change happens - and with it, tough times and easy times. Life always has a way of surprising you.

[keeping positive]

Ebonycat,

Hi, I don't really know what to say, except I am sorry! I know it must be really hard on you and I realise that your husband probably didn't make this decision lightly either. It is the most difficult thing in the world to think about let alone actually do.

Marykate has some very wise words...

I hope things work out for the better for you, however in the meantime, if you need to vent, cry, scream and shout please do, we're all here for you no matter what.

I know it's a cliche, but things really do get better with time.

I wish you all the best through this very difficult time.

Lots of hugs xxx

[mias]

I have only just seen this and also would like to say how very sorry I am to hear this news.I don't have much to add to the things said above. Yes, this break up is not set in stone, just a change, at least for the time being. If I were with you I too would give you a big hug (and put the kettle on). xKeep in touch Ebony won't you.

[ebonycat]

Thanks everyone,I'm trying to be positive but its not easy

[Admin - Rethink]

Hi ebonycat, my thoughts are with you - stay in touch x