[marykate4400]

Its nothing new that I consider this forum a great place to meet peers who understand a lot of what I go through and who don't judge me. I have met lots of great people online here so here I feel safe in asking for advice because I know I will get a straight and honest answer.

Recently I have been finding it very difficult. My hubby used to be someone I could confide in and bounce ideas off. But I have realised that my illness has taken its toll on him, now I find it impossible to burden him any more. I prefer to keep things to myself now. As for friends - well, stuff to do with mental illness just puts them off .

But I have had this man whose voice I hear inside my head calling me very nasty names like you fat ***** and talking about everything I do in a derogatory manner - for example if I am cooking something he will say why do I bother because it will taste of **** anyway . I am finding it hard to ignore his voice and think straight. I am putting on a brave face because he may go away if I keep ignoring him.

I don't want to let hubby in on what is going on because he will only freak out and think I am crazy...but what should I do? It is in fact driving me around the bend, I have had to keep on ignoring him and acting as if the names he calls me don't hurt me, which they bloody well do...My problem with telling my CPN everything is that she will just think that I am ill again, tell my psych doc, who will then probably put me on more meds . Which I don't want. I am not ill, or crazy, I just need some advice on how to deal with it on my own terms.

Has anyone tried Hypnosis? Or accupuncture? What about herbal remedies? Any one got any ideas??

[Invisible]

This is my "specialist area" as in I am not trained but share the voice hearing experience and read a lot about it.

Hearing a voice is normal but if it is distressing you then it is best to talk to your mental health team about this. Everyone will hear a voice in their life whether that be when tired and thinking you hear your name, or if someone dies you think you hear their voice.
Just because you tell the mental health team does not mean you will get put on medication, I know a fair few people who manage their symptoms in other ways without tablets myself included.

You know that it is not someone actually sending you a message via thought control don't you?
You know that it is not an alien technology or some divine God giving you messages right?
If you said yes then you are not psychotic and most of the time medication will be used in a psychotic instance and if you choose to not take any tablets they can not make you.

Stress is the biggest factor when it comes to voices the more stressed you are the worse they get, whether that be they get louder or nastier. One thing that causes stress is keeping it to yourself and trying to act like everything is alright, sometimes just talking through the experience with someone like your CPN can make the experience easier to deal with.

My ten voices do the same thing as yours in that they are critical and trying to ignore them just makes them worse, sometimes acknowledging them can lessen the intensity, you don't have to talk out loud to them you can write things to the voice and always rip it up or delete it from the computer straight away.

Voice hearing is a complicated thing as what helps one person does not help another one, but the constants are stress makes things worse, and just because you hear a voice does not make you crazy.

Some people hear a voice/voices constantly some people don't, people can have one experience of a critical voice for a short time and then never again, every experience is different. Just because you are hearing the voice now does not mean you will have it in a week, month or even year from now.

I made a video about coping techniques for hearing voices on YouTube, there is a link to my fist video in my signature but if you check out my YouTube channel you should find the other one about coping techniques.

Hope some of that makes some sense. If you need some of it clearing up, or you are left wondering what was she on about then just let me know.

Take care.

[mias]

I was just about to answer this by saying, you must check out Invisibles YouTube and she answered first.Cakes, a couple of times in the past year or so I heard (my brother) or poss my Dads voice call my name. Once at my parents house, I even went into the kitchen to see what Dad wanted was chatting about this yesterday with my partner and he said that I did the same thing to him a few weeks back.So Invisible is right, everyone can and possible will or have heard a voice in their lifetime but of course for myself I would not think too much of it, hardly surprising for people after a death or when stressed or tired as Invisible explaines.Different if coping with actual voices actually saying stuff.I think if a voice told me, your cooking is rubbish, I might try agreeing and ask, how would you suggest I do it! But seriously, I agree, it is probably going to make things harder for you if you struggle alone so at least here we will listen and be here if you need someone. Hey, Invisible, by sharing what they are saying (to a point) would that make them subside. I imagine by keeping it All in, they could gather strength?Sorry MCakes, lately it has been one thing after another for you. That is poss why this is happening.Big hug and a huggle.

[ramboself]

i used to ask psychiatrists what the definition of voices was, used to annoy them, probably hear voices when under extreme stress, police involved people threatening to kill me, today i was woken up at 7 my neighbour had called a taxi and the driver was making a fuss about taking all that stuff, lots of shouting, i intervened then went to bed again and was hearing things for an hour afterwards before i got to sleep, voices

Then i experience people talking about me in public places said to the last psychiatrist who closed my case isn't that hearing voices and paranoia she said if you make yourself noticed you will be discusssed

[mias]

"if you make yourself noticed you will be discusssed"

But what does she mean by that, what did she think you had done to make yourself noticed enough to be discussed?

marykate4400, on 11 March 2012 - 11:28 PM, said:

Its nothing new that I consider this forum a great place to meet peers who understand a lot of what I go through and who don't judge me. I have met lots of great people online here so here I feel safe in asking for advice because I know I will get a straight and honest answer.

Recently I have been finding it very difficult. My hubby used to be someone I could confide in and bounce ideas off. But I have realised that my illness has taken its toll on him, now I find it impossible to burden him any more. I prefer to keep things to myself now. As for friends - well, stuff to do with mental illness just puts them off .

But I have had this man whose voice I hear inside my head calling me very nasty names like you fat ***** and talking about everything I do in a derogatory manner - for example if I am cooking something he will say why do I bother because it will taste of **** anyway . I am finding it hard to ignore his voice and think straight. I am putting on a brave face because he may go away if I keep ignoring him.

I don't want to let hubby in on what is going on because he will only freak out and think I am crazy...but what should I do? It is in fact driving me around the bend, I have had to keep on ignoring him and acting as if the names he calls me don't hurt me, which they bloody well do...My problem with telling my CPN everything is that she will just think that I am ill again, tell my psych doc, who will then probably put me on more meds . Which I don't want. I am not ill, or crazy, I just need some advice on how to deal with it on my own terms.

Has anyone tried Hypnosis? Or accupuncture? What about herbal remedies? Any one got any ideas??

How has today been M?

[marykate4400]

Hiya all - thank you for the advice everyone and for letting me know I am not alone .

I had been suffering from muscle pains, but it has been easing off and today they have eased off considerably.

The man in my head has been at me again. I was chopping odd branches in the garden with an old axe and burning the wood waste - he told me I should chop my fingers off while I was at it because I would end up having an accident anyway...he also told me to choose sugar instead of sweetener in my tea when he knew I had given up sugar for health reasons . Blah.

Invisible suggests writing - so I will write in my journal tonight about him, only thing is I feel a bit scared about writing about it, coz then it makes him have power, as if I am acknowledging he exists when I have been trying so hard not to. I will mention it to my CPN when I see her next and maybe we can go from there.

[ramboself]

One thing a cbt type therapist said decadees ago before cbt was the in thing, he gave me this therapy anyway one thing he said is the mind is like a coiled spring you push on it it pushes back

[marykate4400]

Its been hard - plucked up courage to tell my CPN today about the man inside my head (the DJ) it felt awkward and rather surreal, but overall, I felt a bit lighter after. I mean apart from you guys and my diary, no-one else knew until now.

It is so difficult to get on with things when you are being called a yellow ***** and fat *****...how am I supposed to look at myself in the mirror when I am being called that?

Its even harder when the safe escape place beneath the duvet in bed is no longer an option now, because the bastard is there too. I feel cornered.

[Invisible]

Hey again,

I am glad that telling someone has helped.

The hardest thing about a voice/s is the day to day things and finding a "safe" place. I never look in the mirror in case of repercussions and even though I may dive under the duvet every now and then the music needs to be on.

If the DJ continues you will find techniques that help and ones that don't and you will adapt and find a new safe place. Learn, adapt and hopefully conquer.

Try to remember though that stress can make the DJ worse, at least in everyone's experience I have encountered with voice hearing, so try to stay as stress free as possible. Easier said then done I know.

Good luck with everything and be kind to yourself.

[Osiyo]

I went to my psychiatrist last week, I told him I had started to hear voices and he asked what they were saying, I told him they were telling me to kill the guy who lost me my job, I have tracked him down I know where he lives, I know his phone number and his mobile number, he started to bounce on his chair saying if I followed them I would never get anymore help and I would end up inside as if I didn't know that, he went on to say that they were my own thoughts and it was my own feelings, yeah I would like to get my own back on this guy and yea I know if I do what I feel I would end up inside, but I am hearing these voices, not only are they talking to me telling me to do things, I am not going to say anything to anyone anymore I will just put up with them.

[mias]

Do you mind if I ask, what did he do to make you lose your job? If you don't answer this question, I will understand.Hope you are feeling a bit better this weekend Rick. Nice and Sunny today.

[Osiyo]

Hey Mias

I don't mind at all, as I think you know I used to be a bus driver, for 25yrs, this van man decided to cut me up and because I flashed my lights and sounded my horn after I missed him by about two inches, he threatened me with a metal bar, I drove through two amber, not red, amber lights trying to get away from him, I reported it to the police they done nothing as I wasn't hurt, I reported it to the company and they watched the cctv, they saw I went through the two amber lights and said I broke the law, the police said I had done nothing wrong but I was sacked anyway.

Yes it is a beautiful day today, spring has sprung.

[mias]

Tnank you for reply Rick..It is frightening to me how Bad tempered, rude thoughtless and violent some people 'out there'are these days. One day I hope the world will become a kind and peaceful place but I won't hold my breath. What a looser that man was that threatened you, it could have been anyone,what if it was not a big strong man like you but some sweet little elderly lady driver? She would have been frightened out of her life.This is my personal view, but I think that it was harsh for you to loose your job just for going through two sets of lights when you were upset and possibly angered by his violent outburst. Could the passengers be witness to that? Even the police said you had done nothing wrong. How are you feeling this week. Hope you had a good weekend, yes, wasn't it nice and Sunny.

[ramboself]

pete shaunessy who founded mad pride used to be a bus driver, i remember before he jumped in front of a train he was selling the big issue, i got the impression because he'd stood up for people the mental health lot had refused him help and particularly the help with the benefit claim

They've closed my case, i asked the shrink who should be caring for me social services my family or should i be caring for myself she said who do you think should be caring for you? i said i'm asking you as a friend said it's then she closed your case

I guess with my mother rfecently in an elderly mentally ill home my sister can't be expected to care but someone should tell cameron that, i said to my sister cameron expects you to care for me, she said he may expect it but it isn't going to happen

Feeling vulnerable again, maybe that social worker is right and i should be grateful to have a roof over my head

[Aladinsane]

I've always heard voices sometimes more than others, I always used to be too afraid to tell Psychiatrists, Crisis team etc in case they sectioned me, I remember when I started to admit to it then all I had as a response was, "There just thoughts", or try these different, "anti-psychotics", no care and definately no compassion.

[mias]

Aladinsane, on 02 June 2012 - 06:43 PM, said:

I've always heard voices sometimes more than others, I always used to be too afraid to tell Psychiatrists, Crisis team etc in case they sectioned me, I remember when I started to admit to it then all I had as a response was, "There just thoughts", or try these different, "anti-psychotics", no care and definately no compassion.

Since joining this forum I have always tried to understand what it must be like to hear voices. It must not be easy to live with voices, more so if they are cruel. I wonder if they are more often mean than kind.

[ramboself]

as the guy at the disability centre put it, i don't know if i'm hearing voices, what i do know is something that 30yrs ago you'd have your arm twisted to go into hospital, your now required to say for the benefits. i experience people talking about me in public places as one psychiatrist put it, when i said to another isn't that hearing voices and paranoia she said if you do make yourself noticed you will get discussed

[marykate4400]

Well - a spell in a mental hospital was the general outcome of this thread. Been in hospital since March.

Got started on a depot anti-psychotic injection called Depixol and they're increasing the dose each time they've given me it until...well, when? That seems to be the big question. My vision is blurred and my tongue keeps moving in my mouth of its own accord. Shucks. Medication, it seems I'm bonkers without it and yampy with it too. No win situation, I don't seem to be winning anyways.

Thanks for all those that commented on this thread.

I am on weekend leave this weekend, and thought I'd drop by and say I'm still around but not able to access forum as much as I'd like to until I am discharged and properly back home. Missed all the interaction from you all. Hoping everyone has been well, and someone please fill me in on all the goss!

[marykate4400]

Part 2 - of whilst inside;

I must have fallen out of bed and was x-rayed for what turned out to be a bad sprain to my ankle, punched the walls so violently so many times that I was again x-rayed for what turned out to be a badly sprained wrist....was restrained so many times and injected in the backside so many times with sedatives that I have bruising all over the place too.

How come hospital is so violent?? And what happened to the adage that hospital is meant to be a place of safety??

I am reeling over the trauma of my spell in 'hospital'.

[Osiyo]

Aladinsane, on 02 June 2012 - 05:43 PM, said:

I've always heard voices sometimes more than others, I always used to be too afraid to tell Psychiatrists, Crisis team etc in case they sectioned me, I remember when I started to admit to it then all I had as a response was, "There just thoughts", or try these different, "anti-psychotics", no care and definately no compassion.

That is exactly what they said to me, I am still hearing them, some days are worse than others depending on how I am feeling, but I am don't know what to do about them, I felt like a right fool when I told the psychiatrist about them, but hey ho, as long as I don't act on them I guess I will just have to live with all this crap. Although saying that I have been referred back to the hospital for an assessment, just have to wait for an appointment.