[mld]

I know that I will survive, but my husband has been called away because a friend of his is dying of cancer. He has gone to do some nursing, and giving of TLC.

But it leaves me alone without him. He does so much for me, as he is also my carer.

When I have been alone in the past I have tended to get very depressed and have attempted suicide. I don't want to go down this road again. My husband is due to go away in mid January and my CPN has already reserved meeting times so that I see someone every day whilst he is away. This time I will have to go to next Wednesday to see someone, when my hubby comes home.

I don't know what to do. I tried to phone the CMHT today, and tried to explain the situation, but the duty worker didn't seem to understand my predicament.

I'm already going downhill. I can't prepare myself a meal so I had grated cheese on pasta and cornflakes for tea - not together!

Help!

M.

[ChrisB]

Now if you had said, grated cheese on cornflakes........I'd worry

Mid, you are your own expert, your own best friend in the sence that you know what helps, what distracts you and what makes things worse.

So what kind of things usually bring you some enjoyment?

[mld]

I hate this life.

M.

[ChrisB]

You say that but, you muist have something going for you or why would hubby look after you so well?

You'll be amazed how time simply passes, even if your hiding under a duvet

[mld]

Hi Chris, I am so stressed out that I can't remember what I am to do when I get like this. I know the crisis team have a detailed leaflet about me. But I honestly can't remember.

If I could concentrate I would watch TV, but I can't so I shan't!

If I ... Oh this is crazy, I just want to cry, crying out won't help though

M.

I may just hide under the duvet!

M

[ChrisB]

Mld, crying wont make it worse.........and it doesnt hurt or leave a scar!

Do you have the crisis teams number?

Have you spoken to hubby today?

[mld]

Yes, yes, yes...

Yes, I have the crisis team's number. I use them quite a lot from time to time.

And yes, my hubby has phoned me twice since leaving this lunchtime. Everytime he changed trains he gave me a ring

[ChrisB]

Hey thats cool, so if things become overwhelming you know exactly what to do......perfect!

So this is simply about taking your mind off being alone...... so what can we do?

Got any favorite DVD's?

[mld]

I got a dvd from my sister for Christmas, but my mind can't concentrate. I think that I might just go to bed, listen to the radio and take a sleeping tablet when it gets to 9pm.

Thanks Chris for your time and energy this evening. I hope that you're OK too.

[ChrisB]

Bed is a good place for me.......

Last year we went on Holiday in Scotland and they had pure down duvets - well i had to get one........amazing.........so light but so warm - proper snuggly!

[mld]

We got new duvet covers for Xmas, from my sister in law. Going to put them on tomorrow. Too much for me to do tonight, but I'll put the old ones in the wash tomorrow morning - there I am - I have one thing, or two , to do tomorrow already.

M

[ChrisB]

Ah yes but dont you just love the freshly washed bedding smell

Sounds like an early night is a good idea then as tomorrows getting busy lol

I have been painting today, and by the state of my shirt I think that very little actually made it onto the walls

[mld]

Goodnight, then, Chris and everyone else. I'll try to go to bed and listen to that radio whilst snuggled down under my duvet,

but it just seems to early. Maybe I'll check my emails before I close my computer down.

Thanks again,

Congratulations on the painting. It's always nice when somewhere is newly decorated.

M.

[ChrisB]

Only check those emails if its a nice past time - don't start reading stuff that could make you feel worse.......

Mind you I only seem to get emails from firms selling viagra

[ChrisB]

Just checking back, hope you are safely tucked up in bed Mld x

[mld]

Well, today has happened. I have got through it, with calling the CMHT just the once, but now my head is banging. I'm thinking of taking some lorazapam to calm myself down, but I only have a couple left and it will mean waking early in the morning to get an appointment to see my GP. Why don't they always let me make appointments like they do once I have seen the Dr.

I can see myself heading for a crisis, even thinking about what to have for tea is so stressful! My husband suggested fish fingers and pasta. I need to do this soon as I am hungry, but the cornflakes seem a much better option - no preparation.

Why do I have to put up with life? It is so stressful.

M.

[ChrisB]

Cornflakes sound good to me!

[mld]

ChrisB, on 29 December 2011 - 06:12 PM, said:

Cornflakes sound good to me!

CMHT say to me not to eat cornflakes all the time They are checking up by phone everyday to check what I have eaten

I set the fire alarm off whilst cooking the fish fingers and pasta, but I didn't burn either of them, I promise!

Also had a couple of chocolate orange segments that I got for Christmas, with a cup of coffee after the meal.

M.

[ChrisB]

WEll done Mld, top job done

[mld]

I've got a GPs appointment with my own doctor this pm. I hope that this time will be useful.

M