[Fran]

Aaagggrrrrhhh!!! I thought a bit of a rant might make me feel better. So my brother got arrested today!

My brother was let out of hospital on leave an Friday and for the most part was actually doing ok. He was still a little sketchy and scattered but trying to get it together. He was then told to go back to the hospital on Monday and if he was ok he would be officially released. After 3 hours of being there (with me) and telling the social worker, 2 nurses, the admin and an intern we were there and waiting for his doctor we were finally told no one had told the doctor and he had left!!!!!! We were actually in sight of the nurses station the whole time. Eventually my brother got upset (he’s not good and not knowing what’s going on) and they paid attention to him and got the emergency doctor to see him who told him that his doctor had left and he could just stay the night in the hospital until the doctor returned in the morning. Surprisingly my brother wasn’t happy about this new plan (imagine that!!) and lost it again very insistent that he wanted to be at home. They finally agreed and told him to come back the next day (today) and see the doctor. All very annoying but not the end of the world and able to be dealt with. I then took him home again and he seemed ok.

Today I get a call from him saying he had been arrested! He was arrested for not showing up at a court case which was scheduled for the time he was in hospital. Despite me being assured for 9 days while he was in hospital that this wouldn’t happen. I discussed it with the social worker, the doctor, his case worker and through her the mental health legal liaison officer – all of these people assured me the court had been advised and he would be fine!!!!!! Apparently not! It seems that even though all these people did their jobs this didn’t filter to the police. 8 police woke my brother up this morning and arrested him! (before he had taken his meds). They also didn’t believe him when he repeatedly told them he was in hospital.

So as a result of this I now get to deal with a particularly strung out brother. Stress levels are totally up. He is refusing to go back to his house for fear of the police getting him. He also wont go back to the hospital because if he wasn’t in hospital he would have been able to go to court. So unhelpful.... ****ing bureaucracy. A stupid lack of communication.

I feel like a bit of foot stomping. It is so hard having a brother who is ill. It makes such a huge impact on my life. I had to pick up my flat mate from a nasty doctor appointment which I had to rush too and generally not be able to give her the support she needed. I also missed a florist class I was booked in to do tonight which I will still have to pay $95 for. It was to create Christmas table centrepieces and I have been looking forward to it for months and booked it 3 weeks ago thinking.... surely things will have settled down by then. This is the only thing I had organised this Christmas for myself!!

I’m just worn out. The thought that this is never going to stop is just so daunting. I know the protect myself line etc, but what do I do when I have a person who has been traumatised by the police, scared and telling me he just wants to be with me and feel safe and rest. I can’t just tell him to go away. There isn’t anyone else.

So sorry to be ranting I am just frustrated.

I hope you are all having better days.

Fran

[Mau]

hi fran

i can identify with the stress levels your brother is feeling and also how you are feeling.

i doubt there is much you can do about the mix up. as long as your brother is taking the meds things will calm down.

i know you are frustrated, try and take a step back from this, its not your fault that things have gotten so messed up. forget about everyone else and just concentrate on yourself and your brother.

mau x

[keeping positive]

Hi Fran

What a time you are having at the moment!!! I feel both for you and your brother. If everyone who knew about the court case were doing their jobs why on earth did no one tell the court?

Hopefully now though this will have been sorted??

I understand completely how these things can take over your life and how frustrated and upset you feel when you have to give up the things that make you happy. Even the little things that bring a smile to your face.

I read your post and believe me I was as upset as you

It's good that your brother feels safe and secure with you however it is a lot for you to cope with. Will your family help out and take some of the burden off you for a while?

I really don't know what to say to make you feel better, I'm sorry! except keep well and look after yourself.

Take care xx

[Olivia - Rethink]

Hi Fran,

How frustrating! That's terrible that the police weren't informed and especially that they didn't listen to him when he actually explained to them he had been in hospital.

It's difficult to tell in these situations where the failure of communication lies to, at what stage that didn't filter down to the police, even after all the discussions you'd had with the team. I wonder if this is something common that happens in this situation. I imagine at the moment what you want to do is enjoy Christmas and move on from this, but if there is any way you want to follow it up or a similar situation occurs in the future, perhaps Sane Australia would be able to help with ideas on what support is available, for instance a mental health advocacy service or someone else who could try and ensure that doesn't happen again. I'm not too sure how the Australian system works I'm afraid.

You certainly don't need to apologise for ranting, it's really bad that things worked out like this. I hope that you manage to have a nice Christmas and get some time to relax and do some things you enjoy too.

Olivia

[ChrisB]

This failed communication seems to be a consistent nightmare, with many of us having similar issues... so many people involved in our "care" but none communicating with each other

I hope he's ok and I'm so glad he's got you!

[Fran]

Thank you everyone for the kind words and strength. Yesterday was a little better. My brother just slept all day. The poor thing is such a wreck. The meds seem to really be messing with him. He is also very sore and achy with muscle pain, apparently a side effect of the meds. Any tips on easing the discomfort?

It is wonderful to be able to rant here and know I am understood. Hopefully today will be a good day.

Talk soon
Fran

[sweetpea]

Hi Fran, was wondering how things were going for you and your brother now? Is he getting used to his meds a bit more?

Not sure what to advise for help with easing the muscle pain - perhaps other people on here will have some ideas if they've experienced similar. I usually try to do some yoga or stretches if I'm feeling a bit achy, or have a nice warm bath.

Hope you had a good xmas and ny anyway - and i wish you and your family all the best for 2012.

[Fran]

Hi All

Happy New Year! Thank you for your messages.

I survived Christmas but sadly only a few days after got a call to go interstate as my grandmother deteriorated further. I spent a few days with her and then came home again. It is very hard watching someone you love suffer and die, she was delirious for most of the time and on morphine. This week they have decided to move her to a Palliative care unit as none of the treatments seem to be helping. I know, I am just a barrel of good news!

My brother is doing ok. His case worker now seems to be getting a bit more on the ball now that it is the New Year. I’ve seen him a few times this week and done grocery shopping for him and taken him to the movies. I have also spoken to him at least once a day. It is awful that it is so hard. I feel bad that I find it so taxing to spend time with him. He is still so isolated and needs so much support. His case worker is now at least starting to take over dealing with the court stuff and the really hard stuff so I can just be with him.

I am taking much more time to do nice things for myself and I have seen a few movies this week, had a pedicure and done a bit of retail therapy which all helps.

I hope everyone is well and surviving!
Talk soon.
Cheers
Fran

[mias]

Omg! I am just SO Sorry about your Grandmother. to think you have that upset on top of the worry over your brother. Why does life throw such things our. way? I don't know, but for some of us it does, I like to think it all makes us wiser and hopefully more empathic.
Anyway, glad to hear you have been doing some fun stuff.. Take care.Mias

[Olivia - Rethink]

Hi Fran,

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I hope that you are ok.

It's good to hear that your brother's team are taking on some of those things, and allowing you to then just have time to be there. It also sounds like given what happened with the communications between people with the court case last time that it will help to have a case worker who can follow these things up with their colleagues. And nice you have made a little time to do some nice things for yourself as it's important to do those things to keep yourself happy and ok too.

All the best,

Olivia