Hi
I'll keep this brief and to the point.
My brother has a history of being physical and verbal abusive towards our family.
3 years ago we had filed a restraining order. He decided to move out of town where he got a place of his own and obtained financial support for his illness.
He's been recently diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. While trying to find a new place to live he started to hear voices. My mom decided to bring him home. About a month later, he had attacked me and I called the police. I decided not to press charges. But my mother convinced him to be admitted voluntarily at the local hospital.
He was administered a shot and returned home against medical advice. My mom has decided to let him stay at home and give him time to figure out how to seek treatment on his own as he wishes.
For the past 3 months he refuses to take the medication he's been issued and he refuses to seek counselling. I feel it's only a matter of time before he has another psychotic episode. We've seen a few family counsellors who deal with mental illness but my mom isn't convinced of how serious this situation really is.
Please help.
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Help Verbally and physically abusive brother; schizophrenia
#2
Posted 03 November 2011 - 05:47 PM
Hi Annonymous86,
I am so sorry that your family are having a tough time with your brother. As I am the one who has the sz. in our family I can't tell you what to do, others may have some advice, but I do know that what your brother is going through will seem real to him and that he probably won't realise that he is ill and needing help. My husband has to sometimes make a move towards the communitymental health team on my behalf when I am ill, as I won't/can't say that I am unwell.
Who has the right to contact help for your brother - I think it's your mum as he lives with her, but I'm not sure.
Please take care of yourself,
M.
I am so sorry that your family are having a tough time with your brother. As I am the one who has the sz. in our family I can't tell you what to do, others may have some advice, but I do know that what your brother is going through will seem real to him and that he probably won't realise that he is ill and needing help. My husband has to sometimes make a move towards the communitymental health team on my behalf when I am ill, as I won't/can't say that I am unwell.
Who has the right to contact help for your brother - I think it's your mum as he lives with her, but I'm not sure.
Please take care of yourself,
M.
#3
Posted 03 November 2011 - 05:49 PM
Hi there,
I'm sorry you have been through that - it sounds like it has been a scary and difficult time and it must be hard to settle back after what happened. I hope that you have some support around you and people who you can talk to about this and of course you can talk to us on the forum about your worries too.
Does your brother have a mental health team who you can talk to about your concerns, for instance around your brother's medication and any support he is receiving from them to help?
Also, can I ask if you live in the UK or not? We have an England-based advice line which can talk you through your options on: 0300 5000 927 (Monday to Friday, 10am - 1pm) or you can email them on advice@rethink.org
If you're based outside of the UK I could also recommend some other organisations that could help you with information on what you can do if you are worried about your brother's mental health and what you can do.
We also have some information about how to deal with difficult behaviour on our siblings website: Dealing with unusual thoughts and behaviours factsheet
and what to do in a crisis:
Getting help in a crisis factsheet
A few ideas for if your brother is becoming aggressive and you feel he is unwell are:
If you can figure out which situations trigger aggressive behaviour, (perhaps by keeping a diary) you may be able to work out ways of avoiding it. For example, there may be certain visual signs to look out for and you may wish to leave the immediate area at that time. There may be certain topics of conversation you wish to avoid.
If there are a few moments before an outburst when your sibling becomes increasingly agitated, you may be able to prevent an over-reaction by calming them down early. You may calmly ask them what is wrong or suggest they leave the room/house until they have calmed down.
Try not to argue them when they become upset because they may no longer have the ability to be rational.
Try not to get upset or angry. If you give the impression you are not going to respond in anger he may feel more that the situation is under control. Never try to restrain him. Never put your own safety at risk. If you feel under immediate threat of violence call the police. If you have regular contact with your brother and the behaviour is increasing, you or your parents should inform his care team about it and discuss the situation. If your brother is being regularly aggressive towards you may wish to think about whether it is possible to stay living together at the moment.
Is there somewhere you could even stay for a while if you are uncomfortable at the moment? I am not sure how old you are and if this is a possibility, but it could be a temporary idea so you can have a bit of space.
Also are you able to talk with your mum about your worries as perhaps you could work something out together.
I hope that we are able to help, and let us know how you are getting on.
All the best,
Olivia
I'm sorry you have been through that - it sounds like it has been a scary and difficult time and it must be hard to settle back after what happened. I hope that you have some support around you and people who you can talk to about this and of course you can talk to us on the forum about your worries too.
Does your brother have a mental health team who you can talk to about your concerns, for instance around your brother's medication and any support he is receiving from them to help?
Also, can I ask if you live in the UK or not? We have an England-based advice line which can talk you through your options on: 0300 5000 927 (Monday to Friday, 10am - 1pm) or you can email them on advice@rethink.org
If you're based outside of the UK I could also recommend some other organisations that could help you with information on what you can do if you are worried about your brother's mental health and what you can do.
We also have some information about how to deal with difficult behaviour on our siblings website: Dealing with unusual thoughts and behaviours factsheet
and what to do in a crisis:
Getting help in a crisis factsheet
A few ideas for if your brother is becoming aggressive and you feel he is unwell are:
If you can figure out which situations trigger aggressive behaviour, (perhaps by keeping a diary) you may be able to work out ways of avoiding it. For example, there may be certain visual signs to look out for and you may wish to leave the immediate area at that time. There may be certain topics of conversation you wish to avoid.
If there are a few moments before an outburst when your sibling becomes increasingly agitated, you may be able to prevent an over-reaction by calming them down early. You may calmly ask them what is wrong or suggest they leave the room/house until they have calmed down.
Try not to argue them when they become upset because they may no longer have the ability to be rational.
Try not to get upset or angry. If you give the impression you are not going to respond in anger he may feel more that the situation is under control. Never try to restrain him. Never put your own safety at risk. If you feel under immediate threat of violence call the police. If you have regular contact with your brother and the behaviour is increasing, you or your parents should inform his care team about it and discuss the situation. If your brother is being regularly aggressive towards you may wish to think about whether it is possible to stay living together at the moment.
Is there somewhere you could even stay for a while if you are uncomfortable at the moment? I am not sure how old you are and if this is a possibility, but it could be a temporary idea so you can have a bit of space.
Also are you able to talk with your mum about your worries as perhaps you could work something out together.
I hope that we are able to help, and let us know how you are getting on.
All the best,
Olivia
#4
Posted 03 November 2011 - 06:56 PM
He's been recently diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. While trying to find a new place to live he started to hear voices.
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The use of non lethal directed energy weapons can disturb the mind, and can cause the brain to hear micro wave hearing which he is currently perceives it as hearing voices. He needs lots of understanding and no confrontation.
Please see my posts and make ure own mind up!
What do others think of security cameras were ever they go as they are not stopping crime Rate Topic:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The use of non lethal directed energy weapons can disturb the mind, and can cause the brain to hear micro wave hearing which he is currently perceives it as hearing voices. He needs lots of understanding and no confrontation.
Please see my posts and make ure own mind up!
What do others think of security cameras were ever they go as they are not stopping crime Rate Topic:
#5
Posted 03 November 2011 - 07:03 PM
High expressed emotion within a family is bad news when combined with serious mental health issues. Maybe some kind of yoga or relaxation for all involved would help?
"If humanity does not urgently change its ways, several critical thresholds may be exceeded, beyond which abrupt and generally irreversible changes to the life-support functions of the planet could occur." UN Report 2012
"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." - Einstein
"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." - Einstein
#6
Posted 30 November 2011 - 01:40 PM
Sorry to hear about your experience. My brother has schizophrenia and he does not accept that he has any need for medication or support. It is terribly frustrating for me and my mum (who is is carer). I have no advice to offer I'm afraid other than sharing my own experience of coping with someone who is not prepared to accept any help. It is one of the hardest things about this illness in my view.
Good luck and I hope the situation gets better for you.
Good luck and I hope the situation gets better for you.
#7
Posted 30 November 2011 - 01:51 PM
Its not the illness that makes him violent its an excuse to behave that way.
if he has violence towards the family then perhaps it would be better if he lived alone until he learns to deal with his anger in a better way.
There are many schizophrenic who dont resort to violence when they are ill
your brother is using the violence he has built up over years of not dealing with anger properly . He needs a time out to get advice on anger management issues.
if he has violence towards the family then perhaps it would be better if he lived alone until he learns to deal with his anger in a better way.
There are many schizophrenic who dont resort to violence when they are ill
your brother is using the violence he has built up over years of not dealing with anger properly . He needs a time out to get advice on anger management issues.
#8
Posted 30 November 2011 - 05:33 PM
I know that situation too - my brother has schizophrenia but won't accept it and has had to be sectioned to be forced to take his meds. It's incredibly difficult when someone is not prepared to accept any help, so I feel for you, I really do.
As suggested earlier, you may need to seek help on your sibling's behalf, particularly if you are concerned about your own or your family's safety.
Don’t forget there is help out there for you – you’re not alone in this. There are lots of people going through similar experiences, and we’re here if you want to talk things through.
As suggested earlier, you may need to seek help on your sibling's behalf, particularly if you are concerned about your own or your family's safety.
Don’t forget there is help out there for you – you’re not alone in this. There are lots of people going through similar experiences, and we’re here if you want to talk things through.
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