Help
My brother, who for the last 10 years has suffered from severe mental health problems.
Before I start I must apologise cos I am going to rant lots!!
2006 - my brother split from his girlfriend of 20 years. This was my first dealing as being a carer for my older brother (who is now aged 46).
August 2006 - my brother had just returned from a psychologist appointment. I was at my mums and he broke down and told me private details of what he had just discussed with his psychologist. I have never seen him as low as this and he repeatedly was telling me he wanted to end his life.
I took him home and this was my first dealing with his mental health team. I phoned them for help and advice on how to deal with my brother who was repeatedly telling me he wanted to kill himself. The reply from the gentleman on the phone to me was “my brother is old enough to make his own mind up”. I was so angry and frustrated with this person and argued on the phone with him. I eventually gave up (as I was clearly getting nowhere) and returned to help my brother. This was the start of my dealings with his mental health team - I would need to write a book to describe the dealings my brother and I have both had with them!
This was the start of my life being my brother's carer, psychiatrist and doctor. I knew from this day on that his girlfriend of 20 years was gone and it would be up to me and my mum to care for my brother.
My brother from a very young age has always been a very shy, reclusive, unlucky individual. But his real problems began in 2001 when he was working as a roofer and a brick fell on his head - he began to act very strange. Then in September 2002 he was an innocent victim of a deliberate house fire. From this day on his life has just gone from bad to worse.
July 2011 - after years of trying to get help from his doctor and mental health team I called the police as once again I thought he had killed himself - this was the first time I had involved the police. They could clearly see he was a vulnerable adult and wanted him to be hospitalised and called his mental health team who asked for him to be taken to them for assessment - he was sent home to return the following morning to see a psychiatrist. I went along with him to this appointment and the diagnosis I was given (after 5+ year of trying to get one) was - since an early age has severe depression (which can be treated with a pill) following the head injury he has personality disorder and following the fire he has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (both these conditions are not treatable by a pill and it is up to my brother to learn to live with them). I am still unsure if this is the correct diagnosis - he displays a range of behaviours ranging from occasional normality to manic behaviour, raging anger, detachment, confusion, paranoia, deep depression, self loathing and suicidal and apparently delusional thoughts.
He is prescribed a wide range of powerful drugs and it seems to me that a large part of his problem is the inability to self-medicate reliably. He is prescribed such a volume of drugs (Venlafaxine, Epilim, high strength Co-Codamol, Diazepam and Triazepan) that he often ends up taking the wrong quantities at the wrong times, or not at all.
I am married with two young children and a part time job. My brother lives 30 miles away from me and on many occasions I have to leave my family to go and make sure he is okay. Since the incident in August this year I am trying to get him rehoused to be closer to me and my family. I feel a little anxious about this but I know deep down I will never give up on him and feel that if he is living closer to me I will be able to offer him more support.
Thank you so much for listening to my rants - I am so grateful that I have found somewhere which provides help for siblings. xxx
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MY BIG BROTHER
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#2
KLS 
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Posted 26 October 2011 - 09:06 PM
Hiya,
Don't worry about ranting! this forum is a fantastic place where everyone just wants to help and ranting always makes me feel better
Thats so lovely that you care so much about your brother and he is very lucky to have you supporting him.
It sounds like the mental health team were absolutly no help at all, we have had a similar thing happen when they seemed like they just didnt care about what happened and have just sent my sister home after she took an overdose. it's incredibly frustrating
I found calling the Rethink helpline really useful and they gave me some really good advice on a number of different things.
xxxxx
Don't worry about ranting! this forum is a fantastic place where everyone just wants to help and ranting always makes me feel better
Thats so lovely that you care so much about your brother and he is very lucky to have you supporting him.
It sounds like the mental health team were absolutly no help at all, we have had a similar thing happen when they seemed like they just didnt care about what happened and have just sent my sister home after she took an overdose. it's incredibly frustrating
I found calling the Rethink helpline really useful and they gave me some really good advice on a number of different things.
xxxxx
#3
Olivia - Rethink
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Posted 27 October 2011 - 10:18 PM
Hi there,
Don't worry about ranting, it can help so much to just say things to others, and also you're going through a really worrying time. It's great your brother has you to help.
If you are worried about his diagnosis and treatments, and you are finding it difficult with his mental health team, you might like to call our advice and information service - as KLS says - and they'll be able to take you through your concerns.
You can call them on 0300 5000 927 - Monday to Friday, 10am - 1pm, or email advice@rethink.org
Nice to have you on the forum.
Best wishes,
Olivia
Don't worry about ranting, it can help so much to just say things to others, and also you're going through a really worrying time. It's great your brother has you to help.
If you are worried about his diagnosis and treatments, and you are finding it difficult with his mental health team, you might like to call our advice and information service - as KLS says - and they'll be able to take you through your concerns.
You can call them on 0300 5000 927 - Monday to Friday, 10am - 1pm, or email advice@rethink.org
Nice to have you on the forum.
Best wishes,
Olivia
#4
mias
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Posted 27 October 2011 - 10:55 PM
Hello Help!!!,
What a story you would have, I actually think that you should write down everything into a book of some kind. That way, if ever you need to remember how things were dealt with (right or wrong) down the line, you will have a record you can call upon. It is funny how we think we will remember things clearly but when and if the time comes it isn't always the way.
And as for this comment " The reply from the gentleman on the phone to me was “my brother is old enough to make his own mind up”. Why, that made my blood boil! Definitely something to record, where he was from and name would be good. This is not how anyone should be spoken to and it is hardly 'advice' is it. We had a similar upsetting comment from my Mother's Doctor regarding my brother when he was unwell.
You are going to need support if you are to continue caring for your brother. I don't think it will be easy for you and your Mother to do without some sort of back up.
Glad you have found here, I am sure it will be a good place for you.
What a story you would have, I actually think that you should write down everything into a book of some kind. That way, if ever you need to remember how things were dealt with (right or wrong) down the line, you will have a record you can call upon. It is funny how we think we will remember things clearly but when and if the time comes it isn't always the way.
And as for this comment " The reply from the gentleman on the phone to me was “my brother is old enough to make his own mind up”. Why, that made my blood boil! Definitely something to record, where he was from and name would be good. This is not how anyone should be spoken to and it is hardly 'advice' is it. We had a similar upsetting comment from my Mother's Doctor regarding my brother when he was unwell.
You are going to need support if you are to continue caring for your brother. I don't think it will be easy for you and your Mother to do without some sort of back up.
Glad you have found here, I am sure it will be a good place for you.
I live in my own little world. But it's OK, everyone knows me here.
#5
HELP!!!!
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Posted 29 October 2011 - 09:51 PM
HELP!!!!, on 25 October 2011 - 10:19 PM, said:
My brother, who for the last 10 years has suffered from severe mental health problems.
Before I start I must apologise cos I am going to rant lots!!
2006 - my brother split from his girlfriend of 20 years. This was my first dealing as being a carer for my older brother (who is now aged 46).
August 2006 - my brother had just returned from a psychologist appointment. I was at my mums and he broke down and told me private details of what he had just discussed with his psychologist. I have never seen him as low as this and he repeatedly was telling me he wanted to end his life.
I took him home and this was my first dealing with his mental health team. I phoned them for help and advice on how to deal with my brother who was repeatedly telling me he wanted to kill himself. The reply from the gentleman on the phone to me was “my brother is old enough to make his own mind up”. I was so angry and frustrated with this person and argued on the phone with him. I eventually gave up (as I was clearly getting nowhere) and returned to help my brother. This was the start of my dealings with his mental health team - I would need to write a book to describe the dealings my brother and I have both had with them!
This was the start of my life being my brother's carer, psychiatrist and doctor. I knew from this day on that his girlfriend of 20 years was gone and it would be up to me and my mum to care for my brother.
My brother from a very young age has always been a very shy, reclusive, unlucky individual. But his real problems began in 2001 when he was working as a roofer and a brick fell on his head - he began to act very strange. Then in September 2002 he was an innocent victim of a deliberate house fire. From this day on his life has just gone from bad to worse.
July 2011 - after years of trying to get help from his doctor and mental health team I called the police as once again I thought he had killed himself - this was the first time I had involved the police. They could clearly see he was a vulnerable adult and wanted him to be hospitalised and called his mental health team who asked for him to be taken to them for assessment - he was sent home to return the following morning to see a psychiatrist. I went along with him to this appointment and the diagnosis I was given (after 5+ year of trying to get one) was - since an early age has severe depression (which can be treated with a pill) following the head injury he has personality disorder and following the fire he has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (both these conditions are not treatable by a pill and it is up to my brother to learn to live with them). I am still unsure if this is the correct diagnosis - he displays a range of behaviours ranging from occasional normality to manic behaviour, raging anger, detachment, confusion, paranoia, deep depression, self loathing and suicidal and apparently delusional thoughts.
He is prescribed a wide range of powerful drugs and it seems to me that a large part of his problem is the inability to self-medicate reliably. He is prescribed such a volume of drugs (Venlafaxine, Epilim, high strength Co-Codamol, Diazepam and Triazepan) that he often ends up taking the wrong quantities at the wrong times, or not at all.
I am married with two young children and a part time job. My brother lives 30 miles away from me and on many occasions I have to leave my family to go and make sure he is okay. Since the incident in August this year I am trying to get him rehoused to be closer to me and my family. I feel a little anxious about this but I know deep down I will never give up on him and feel that if he is living closer to me I will be able to offer him more support.
Thank you so much for listening to my rants - I am so grateful that I have found somewhere which provides help for siblings. xxx
Before I start I must apologise cos I am going to rant lots!!
2006 - my brother split from his girlfriend of 20 years. This was my first dealing as being a carer for my older brother (who is now aged 46).
August 2006 - my brother had just returned from a psychologist appointment. I was at my mums and he broke down and told me private details of what he had just discussed with his psychologist. I have never seen him as low as this and he repeatedly was telling me he wanted to end his life.
I took him home and this was my first dealing with his mental health team. I phoned them for help and advice on how to deal with my brother who was repeatedly telling me he wanted to kill himself. The reply from the gentleman on the phone to me was “my brother is old enough to make his own mind up”. I was so angry and frustrated with this person and argued on the phone with him. I eventually gave up (as I was clearly getting nowhere) and returned to help my brother. This was the start of my dealings with his mental health team - I would need to write a book to describe the dealings my brother and I have both had with them!
This was the start of my life being my brother's carer, psychiatrist and doctor. I knew from this day on that his girlfriend of 20 years was gone and it would be up to me and my mum to care for my brother.
My brother from a very young age has always been a very shy, reclusive, unlucky individual. But his real problems began in 2001 when he was working as a roofer and a brick fell on his head - he began to act very strange. Then in September 2002 he was an innocent victim of a deliberate house fire. From this day on his life has just gone from bad to worse.
July 2011 - after years of trying to get help from his doctor and mental health team I called the police as once again I thought he had killed himself - this was the first time I had involved the police. They could clearly see he was a vulnerable adult and wanted him to be hospitalised and called his mental health team who asked for him to be taken to them for assessment - he was sent home to return the following morning to see a psychiatrist. I went along with him to this appointment and the diagnosis I was given (after 5+ year of trying to get one) was - since an early age has severe depression (which can be treated with a pill) following the head injury he has personality disorder and following the fire he has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (both these conditions are not treatable by a pill and it is up to my brother to learn to live with them). I am still unsure if this is the correct diagnosis - he displays a range of behaviours ranging from occasional normality to manic behaviour, raging anger, detachment, confusion, paranoia, deep depression, self loathing and suicidal and apparently delusional thoughts.
He is prescribed a wide range of powerful drugs and it seems to me that a large part of his problem is the inability to self-medicate reliably. He is prescribed such a volume of drugs (Venlafaxine, Epilim, high strength Co-Codamol, Diazepam and Triazepan) that he often ends up taking the wrong quantities at the wrong times, or not at all.
I am married with two young children and a part time job. My brother lives 30 miles away from me and on many occasions I have to leave my family to go and make sure he is okay. Since the incident in August this year I am trying to get him rehoused to be closer to me and my family. I feel a little anxious about this but I know deep down I will never give up on him and feel that if he is living closer to me I will be able to offer him more support.
Thank you so much for listening to my rants - I am so grateful that I have found somewhere which provides help for siblings. xxx
#6
HELP!!!!
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Posted 29 October 2011 - 10:10 PM
Hi I would like to say thanks to you all for your feedback and I will definitely be making a call to the Rethink helpine next week.
Mias you are right what you say and I have over the years taken notes of various conversations with both his doctor and mental health team. On many occasions (when I cannot sleep in the night) I sit with the laptop typing as I feel this is my way of releasing a lot of the anger and putting my frustrations into a box! Hopefully, one day when my brother is in a better place I would love to open the box and tell the world his story. What I wrote in my first rant was such a small part of how unfortunate a life my brother has had. I only hope and pray that one day he will have a better life.
Thanks again for listening I will defo contact the helpline. xx
Mias you are right what you say and I have over the years taken notes of various conversations with both his doctor and mental health team. On many occasions (when I cannot sleep in the night) I sit with the laptop typing as I feel this is my way of releasing a lot of the anger and putting my frustrations into a box! Hopefully, one day when my brother is in a better place I would love to open the box and tell the world his story. What I wrote in my first rant was such a small part of how unfortunate a life my brother has had. I only hope and pray that one day he will have a better life.
Thanks again for listening I will defo contact the helpline. xx
#8
mias
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Posted 28 February 2012 - 10:06 AM
Very strange. I see this message was written onthe 7th Feb but it came through to my email yesterday!? This does happen occasionally. Thought I would mention it.
I live in my own little world. But it's OK, everyone knows me here.
#10
Olivia - Rethink
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Posted 28 February 2012 - 02:53 PM
mias, on 28 February 2012 - 10:06 AM, said:
Very strange. I see this message was written onthe 7th Feb but it came through to my email yesterday!? This does happen occasionally. Thought I would mention it.
Hi Mias, thanks that is strange - we'll have a look into it.
Yes, how are you all doing?
All the best,
Olivia
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