[keeping positive]

Hi Guys,

Hope you are all well.

My partner appears to be trying to force me into leaving my job to stay at home, he says we would have more money and I am bringing the family down and putting us on the poverty line by working.

Apparently family is not all about the money, it doesn’t matter that money is all he talks about and wants, he’s currently applying for various benefits and can’t see why they don’t just pay up, why does he need to go to medicals when they know what his problems are.

Anyway, after an argument some time ago I started taking our daughter to school, I would then obviously be late for work but would make the time up through my lunch break, now though this is getting a little bit too much and my boss wants me to sort something out and go back to working my usual hours. I can’t fault her though she has been a brilliant source of support throughout everything. This week my partner took our daughter to school the first two days and relatives are taking her the final three. This won’t work in the long term though as all my relatives work; they’re on hols at the moment.

My partner did say to me months ago he would force me to give up my job and I think in real terms this is what he is trying to do now. He says I have to take our daughter to school and if I’m late, so what? It’s not as if they can sack me!!!!!

I don’t want to give up my job as it is the only life line I have away from the mental torture at home sometimes, I can’t be stuck at home 24/7 listening to how god wants to the world to be and how he is destructive and what the beast and the woman who sits on the beast are up to. Lunchtimes, on the way home and when I get home is bad enough.

Anyway, I’ve done a little research and it would appear that we would have more disposable income if I did give up work, possibly as much as £200-£300 more each month, even after paying all the bills, as we would have no council tax and no rent to pay. This was done using the government website benefits checker, which I don’t believe is completely true anyway.

My partner has not been accepted for any of the benefits he has applied for yet and last year was refused so this is round two. He seems to think the DWP and the world owe him something.

To my mind it is not always about the money, I don’t mind paying my way even if there is not much left, we’re not struggling as such, the bills are paid and there is food and heating in the house, ok we can’t have holidays willy nilly but we don’t go without as a family.

I’m really fed up and feeling very down and despondent with the whole situation, not just this but everything, the whole “I’m not ill, there’s nothing wrong with me”. I’m so fed up now I just want to leave and start again on my own without all the hassle.

Every time one of life’s obstacles gets in the way of things, my partner has to tell me for an hour how someone out there is out to get us or him, that there is someone behind it all.

Yesterday he was convinced that someone had been in the house, he went to the GP and when he got back he says the front door was open, I commented on that he should have locked it then, of course this went down like a brick and I was told I needed to pay attention and listen because someone had been in the house. It’s probably the same people who have put listening devices in the house to listen to his conversations.

Apparently I have something with me and he has seen this, the devil he saw over me one night, I need to get rid of this thing as it makes me say stupid things, this can be me stating we actually legally live in one area called mars but that when we talk to people or write our address we always put Pluto… because Mars calculates as the beasts number this means I want to stay with the beast because of what I said, I am now at the point where I don’t say a lot and the conversations are more one sided as I can’t be bothered to rock the boat and cause or start an argument simply by opening my mouth and speaking.

I need to leave, anyway apologies for the long rambling, I’ve been rambling and writing my thoughts down for two days now and the more I try and stick to the point and write a short post it doesn’t seem to work, it’s a good job I type it in word first

[Universal Credit]

Work is hard to come by and the government is clampig down on benefits left right and centre. Hold to the job but for the right reasons - and are you certain avoiding home is the right reason? If life at home is such torture I would be thinking divorce myself.

[mias]

It sounds to me as if work is your only place of peace and it gets you out of the house. I think explain to your boss and she will understand that you need to take your child to school. Yes, work over lunch if need be to do this but you are her only security at the moment unless she has a very close Aunt or Nan or someone else that takes regular care of her/him.

Your partner is still unwell, I have no idea how long these things can go on for, I guess every person is so different.

If he was well, would he really want you to stay home with him upsetting you like this? I doubt he would.

For that matter would he want your child around when he is like this?

My brother was not at all happy with me when I took his two children to see him whilst very unwell. I thought I was doing the right thing. In one way I did, as they never saw him again but in another, maybe not, as he frightened them, so their last memory of him was not a good one when of course really he was a loving daddy.

Big decisions.

x

[ebonycat]

mias, on 19 October 2011 - 09:47 AM, said:

It sounds to me as if work is your only place of peace and it gets you out of the house. I think explain to your boss and she will understand that you need to take your child to school. Yes, work over lunch if need be to do this but you are her only security at the moment unless she has a very close Aunt or Nan or someone else that takes regular care of her/him.

Your partner is still unwell, I have no idea how long these things can go on for, I guess every person is so different.

If he was well, would he really want you to stay home with him upsetting you like this? I doubt he would.

For that matter would he want your child around when he is like this?

My brother was not at all happy with me when I took his two children to see him whilst very unwell. I thought I was doing the right thing. In one way I did, as they never saw him again but in another, maybe not, as he frightened them, so their last memory of him was not a good one when of course really he was a loving daddy.

Big decisions.

x

Sounds like your partner needs to be sectioned untill he can get over this psychosis, you should talk to your GP

[Universal Credit]

ebonycat, on 19 October 2011 - 11:14 AM, said:

Sounds like your partner needs to be sectioned untill he can get over this psychosis, you should talk to your GP

Are social services involved yet? They can be very helpful....

[keeping positive]

Spartikus Rex, on 19 October 2011 - 09:11 AM, said:

Work is hard to come by and the government is clampig down on benefits left right and centre. Hold to the job but for the right reasons - and are you certain avoiding home is the right reason? If life at home is such torture I would be thinking divorce myself.

Too be honest I feel more and more everyday like leaving, I just keep wishing for the fantasy of having a small lottery win or something, I know I could leave and start again without this but I think this is the excuse I'm using to stay.

[keeping positive]

mias, on 19 October 2011 - 09:47 AM, said:

It sounds to me as if work is your only place of peace and it gets you out of the house. I think explain to your boss and she will understand that you need to take your child to school. Yes, work over lunch if need be to do this but you are her only security at the moment unless she has a very close Aunt or Nan or someone else that takes regular care of her/him.

Your partner is still unwell, I have no idea how long these things can go on for, I guess every person is so different.

If he was well, would he really want you to stay home with him upsetting you like this? I doubt he would.

For that matter would he want your child around when he is like this?

My brother was not at all happy with me when I took his two children to see him whilst very unwell. I thought I was doing the right thing. In one way I did, as they never saw him again but in another, maybe not, as he frightened them, so their last memory of him was not a good one when of course really he was a loving daddy.

Big decisions.

x

I think you are absolutely right mias, thank you, I am the only sure thing my daughter has at the moment, she tells me sometimes that her dad freaks her out, the other evening whilst at my parents we were leaving and she was taking her time, I jokingly asked if she wanted to go home and she said no, she said she didn't want to go home because of dad, I'm not sure he frightens her but she has said he talks to much and goes on too much about the same things.

I have thought over the last few weeks or so that maybe he does need to be sectioned again and left there this time until he is well. The only problem is though, he won't open the door to the CPN and won't attend any of the outpatient appointments he has had come through.

Spartikus Rex, on 19 October 2011 - 10:18 AM, said:

Are social services involved yet? They can be very helpful....

I had a phone call from our local childrens services and they asked if my partner was seeking help, I advised yes as this was true at the time, they said as long as me and my daughter were ok and felt safe and he was under some mental health body they would probably not need to call again, and they haven't.

[toffee]

I agree with the other posters. It sounds like he needs to be having some input from services. How does he square not being ill or having anything wrong with him with his benefits application?

Does your daughters school have a breakfast club so you could drop her off earlier or do you know anyone else who goes to the school who lives en route to your work so you could drop your daughter off with them and htey could take her?

[Universal Credit]

toffee, on 20 October 2011 - 05:09 AM, said:

I agree with the other posters. It sounds like he needs to be having some input from services. How does he square not being ill or having anything wrong with him with his benefits application?

Does your daughters school have a breakfast club so you could drop her off earlier or do you know anyone else who goes to the school who lives en route to your work so you could drop your daughter off with them and htey could take her?

Denial can either signfiy remission or serious relapse and a potentioly catastrophic circumstance, where kids and the stressors they bring are included, don't become a statistic. If you are not gettig help from Social services and are seriously upset with the homelife situation then ring the police if there's a 'blow-up' and they will be duty bound to bring in Social Services, and you'll get the input then. Like everything being cut back by budget reductions you need to be the squeaky wheel to get the grease.

[ChrisB]

KP I know for sure my wife's job is her only link with sanity - she earns crap money but its a life line for her.

If she gave it up we may get more in benefits - dont forget though if you make yourself unemployed they usually withhold benefits for 6 months - but if she were home all day she'd go mad too

[ebonycat]

KP if you were home all day there would be more chance of flare ups between you and your partner. He is not in a good place and needs help you are in a vulnerable position and so is your daughter while he is delusional and psychotic.
you need to seek help if you cant get him to go to out patient appointments or see a cpn your only alternitive is to have him sectioned or move out.
Its not good that he sees you as the root of all evil and is using the Bible to boost his psychosis.

[Universal Credit]

ebonycat, on 21 October 2011 - 12:54 AM, said:

KP if you were home all day there would be more chance of flare ups between you and your partner. He is not in a good place and needs help you are in a vulnerable position and so is your daughter while he is delusional and psychotic.
you need to seek help if you cant get him to go to out patient appointments or see a cpn your only alternitive is to have him sectioned or move out.
Its not good that he sees you as the root of all evil and is using the Bible to boost his psychosis.

The Bible is full of violent passages. It should carry a mental health warning. A lot of the people with mental issues who do really bad things have been found to have been reading the Bible later. Get out? Especially if he focusses on Revalations with it's sick sadistic violent imagery.