Help
My whole family has been in turmoil for the last couple of years, especially the last year and half.
My brother has mental health and substance abuse issues, and refuses to get help. He cannot keep a job
and our family is pretty sure he is bi-polar, he exhitits all of the symptoms, but everytime he agrees
to go get help he backs out. He has seen a psychiatrist but would not take the meds he prescribed for
depression. He saw a psycholgist off and on for a while but will not go now. He and his family live
with my 83 year old mother who is not in good health. He mentally and physically abuses my nephew, and
has had episodes of physical abuse against my mother and sister-in-law. They have called the police
once on him, but they have not been helpful.
What can we do to get him to go for treatment? MY mother has denied him access to the house many times
but always relents when he promises to get help, which he backs out of. Is there anything we can do -
we have contacted all of the relevent mental health agencies around here but the only thing they tell us
we can do is get an order from the magistrate for a 72 hour commitment which my mother is so against.
Does anyone have any suggestions?
Thanks in advance
Curly
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Help for my brother
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#2
mias 
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Posted 27 September 2011 - 02:28 PM
[quote name='Curlymop' date='26 September 2011 - 07:42 PM' timestamp='1317062551' post='25938']
My whole family has been in turmoil for the last couple of years, especially the last year and half.
My brother has mental health and substance abuse issues, and refuses to get help. He cannot keep a job
and our family is pretty sure he is bi-polar, he exhitits all of the symptoms, but everytime he agrees
to go get help he backs out. He has seen a psychiatrist but would not take the meds he prescribed for
depression. He saw a psycholgist off and on for a while but will not go now. He and his family live
with my 83 year old mother who is not in good health. He mentally and physically abuses my nephew, and
has had episodes of physical abuse against my mother and sister-in-law. They have called the police
once on him, but they have not been helpful.
What can we do to get him to go for treatment? MY mother has denied him access to the house many times
but always relents when he promises to get help, which he backs out of. Is there anything we can do -
we have contacted all of the relevent mental health agencies around here but the only thing they tell us
we can do is get an order from the magistrate for a 72 hour commitment which my mother is so against.
Does anyone have any suggestions?
First I just wanted to say hello to you Curly, welcome to the forum.
I have read your message and reallyl don't know what to say. You seem to have all tried so much but he doesn't want to be helped. Your poor mother, she obviously needs to know that he is going to be alright and that is why she allows him home, how hard it must be for a mother to say no.
I think you must speak to the helpline at Rethink and see what they suggest. This has gone on now for a long time and you all need some help.
I hope you get it.
My whole family has been in turmoil for the last couple of years, especially the last year and half.
My brother has mental health and substance abuse issues, and refuses to get help. He cannot keep a job
and our family is pretty sure he is bi-polar, he exhitits all of the symptoms, but everytime he agrees
to go get help he backs out. He has seen a psychiatrist but would not take the meds he prescribed for
depression. He saw a psycholgist off and on for a while but will not go now. He and his family live
with my 83 year old mother who is not in good health. He mentally and physically abuses my nephew, and
has had episodes of physical abuse against my mother and sister-in-law. They have called the police
once on him, but they have not been helpful.
What can we do to get him to go for treatment? MY mother has denied him access to the house many times
but always relents when he promises to get help, which he backs out of. Is there anything we can do -
we have contacted all of the relevent mental health agencies around here but the only thing they tell us
we can do is get an order from the magistrate for a 72 hour commitment which my mother is so against.
Does anyone have any suggestions?
First I just wanted to say hello to you Curly, welcome to the forum.
I have read your message and reallyl don't know what to say. You seem to have all tried so much but he doesn't want to be helped. Your poor mother, she obviously needs to know that he is going to be alright and that is why she allows him home, how hard it must be for a mother to say no.
I think you must speak to the helpline at Rethink and see what they suggest. This has gone on now for a long time and you all need some help.
I hope you get it.
I live in my own little world. But it's OK, everyone knows me here.
#3
KLS
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Posted 27 September 2011 - 07:46 PM
Hi Curly,
As Mias says the Rethink helpline is great. I phoned them to get some advice and they sent me an email with lots of information on my specific questions and in the area of the UK i needed.
I hope they can help, ive also found this forum to be a fantastic resource.
xxx
As Mias says the Rethink helpline is great. I phoned them to get some advice and they sent me an email with lots of information on my specific questions and in the area of the UK i needed.
I hope they can help, ive also found this forum to be a fantastic resource.
xxx
#4
Olivia - Rethink
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- Joined: 08-November 10
Posted 28 September 2011 - 11:06 PM
Hi Curlymop,
It's good to have you on the forum, and I'm sorry that things are so difficult at the moment. It sounds like you are finding it hard to get your brother support, and as Mias said, it might help to call our advice and information service who will be able to talk you through the options and support that might be available and you how could try and access it.
You can call our advice line Monday to Friday, 10am - 1pm on 0300 5000 927 or email them on advice@rethink.org
Do give them a try, and in the meantime, let us know how you are getting on. If you are also interested in maybe joining a sibling support group in your area, you can contact me on sibling@rethink.org and I can let you know what is going on locally.
Best wishes,
Olivia
It's good to have you on the forum, and I'm sorry that things are so difficult at the moment. It sounds like you are finding it hard to get your brother support, and as Mias said, it might help to call our advice and information service who will be able to talk you through the options and support that might be available and you how could try and access it.
You can call our advice line Monday to Friday, 10am - 1pm on 0300 5000 927 or email them on advice@rethink.org
Do give them a try, and in the meantime, let us know how you are getting on. If you are also interested in maybe joining a sibling support group in your area, you can contact me on sibling@rethink.org and I can let you know what is going on locally.
Best wishes,
Olivia
#5
Richie_Rich
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- Group: Members
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Posted 29 September 2011 - 02:36 AM
I've been in that situation, but my grandmother is 84 years old now. I lived with her and I had substance abuse problems that I was dealing with and still do, to keep it real. I'm schizo-affective and I go to treatment and take medication. I've physically and mentally avoided my problems. I'm still not well, but I do have my moments. Most of my family have disowned me, but some of my family still have faith that I will be (the old rich) someday. I've been in many mental health hospitals and drug rehabilatation centers through the years. A couple things I can say are to be open and honest with him. Do not run around his back and talk about him. Take your concerns of him to him. Let him know you care and want what is best for him. State that you worry about him and his future and you have a genuine concern, not because what other people think, but because you love him unconditionally. Now and forever. Say that you are not concerned with what wrongs he has done, but with his future and what will become of him. I'm 37 years old and have many regrets. When I first seen this post I was wondering if it was my brother that wrote it! Really. I have a older brother, but I don't believe that he cares enough about me to try to help me. In other words He and others have just about given up on me. I don't blame them. I do deserve what ever happens to me. I turn to music and tv to distact me from reality. I don't want to deal with my problems. Drugs, alcohol and crazy thoughts seem to push me further away from stability. I can't say how he feels, but I can speak of how I feel. When I'm at my worst is when I'm isolating. I have issues because I have no friends, but that is becuase of how I have acted in the past. A four letter word that haunts (past). (Love) A genuine concern for another human being. Show him unconditional love and let him know that you will always be there for him. Show it, say it and do it and never give up on him. Be there for him by being with him in all of his trials and errors, through the good times as well as the bad. I don't know if anything I wrote helps, but never giving up on him is essential to his well-being.
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