[KLS]

Hi All,

I'm new to the forum and have only just discovered Rethink and i'm so pleased i've found it.

My older sister (30) is Bipolar and has been getting on ok for the last few years. On Friday night she took an overdose and is currently still in the hospital. She's concious but might have done damage to her liver. She's done this before (4 times) but this time she took more than ever before. My parents are absolutly distraught and me and my younger sister just dont know what we can do to help.

When she has done this before the hospital just sent her home and arranged some councling for a week or two (this was before she was properly diagnoised with being bipolar).

I'm so worried now the hospital will send her home again. My parents work full time and can't give her the full time care she needs, i know she will try and do this again and i feel so stuck because she needs to be in care and have 24 hour supervision.

I've phoned rethink and they were fantastic and are going to email me some information, but i just wondred if anyone has had a similar experience. I've also had a look at some care homes where she lives and they seem to be £600 a week (my sister hasnt worked for years as she has ME as well as being bipolar) and we can't afford that kind of money a week. I just dont know what to do because i cant have this happen again to my sister and to my family.

Thank you so much for any advice, this has been one of the worst experiences of my life and i'm so grateful that there is somewhere which provides help for siblings.

xxx

[young sibling]

Hi KLS,

Welcome to the group. I hope the hospital takes your sister's overdose more seriously this time though sadly, I suspect that they won't.

My sister was in and out of hospital so much that on more than one occasion they refused to treat her and sent her home (self harm and overdoses)

Do you have any friends who could support you?

If you want to talk to me privately you are more than welcome to.

Remember, we are here for you.

[ChrisB]

Hi KLS,

Your sister should now have, or will be given a care plan, and its important that everyone who is involved contributes to that plan and is very open and honest with the professionals.

Its important they know what support is, or is not available to her when she is discharged and ofcourse that they know how you are all doing as carers.

Find out who her named nurse is or care coordinator and ask to meet them, then tell them straight how you feel and what the circumstances are.

I know its scary but at the moment she is safe so theres no need to pretend to anyone, just tell them how it is xx

[ebonycat]

KLS
you should ask for carers assessments if you feel unable to offer support to your sister and your parents cannot look after her. What makes you think that she needs baby sitting 24/7? She has to learn to stand on her own feet so she can gain confidence and feel better about herself, you cant be there every minute of every day and neither would a care home.Perhaps family therapy would help.

[KLS]

Hi All,

Thank you so much for your replies. It's so good to know there is actually a place where other people can help me understand all of this a bit better.

I live in Newcastle and my sister lives in Salisbury (my family are in Bristol) so this has been really hard waiting to hear what's happening. we are a close family and dont shy away from talking about my sisters' bipolar issues (is that even the right word?!). I speak to my sister a lot about it and have always tried to understand it.

She has been let out of the hospital now and has gone back to my parents, as you said young sibling, i hoped the hospital would take it seriously too but apparently they didnt think it was a serious attempt..... even though she took hundreds of tablets and was in intensive care(when is doing something like that not serious!!!!). Anyway, my parents have spoken to the psychiatrist and community mental health team and i think they have come up with a plan. I'm waiting for more information today, but she wants to go back to Salisbury as she's made friends down there and i think she would be better off in salisbury as she wouldnt be as isolated as she is in bristol.

I know you're right ebonycat she can't have someone looking after her 24/7 but it feels like she needs it at the moment because she told the nurse at the hospital she would do it again... my parents also know she needs to be left on her own at some point, i think we all know that but the thought of it right now is frightening.

Sorry to write a giant post! i've got my friends and boyfriend and my work has been amazing about this, but it's really meant a lot to me to be able to talk to people who have had similar experiences.

thank you all xxxxxxx

[mias]

"My parents are absolutly distraught and me and my younger sister just dont know what we can do to help."

By just being there, even at the end of the phone or email, you are being a help to your parents, visiting both them and your sister as often as possible, things like that.. I helped my parents by trying to help them understand that other everyday people actually have mental health problems too. I don't think they had any idea before and could not believe it had happened to their son.

You cannot just sit back and wait for her to be helped though. You must keep on top of things and know exactly what is being done, what medication she has been given etc. We were in a right old muddle really and didn't know what the hell was going on and had no idea of who to turn to or ask for help and advice.

When she is well again and feeling better, then she will be able to stand on her own two feet again. I am sure or at least like to think my sibling would have.

[ChrisB]

KLS, on 13 September 2011 - 09:33 AM, said:

Sorry to write a giant post! i've got my friends and boyfriend and my work has been amazing about this, but it's really meant a lot to me to be able to talk to people who have had similar experiences.

thank you all xxxxxxx

Please don't appologise, in this unsupportive world its so good to hear from someone who really cares and wants to help someone else.

Keep posting - as long as you like

[KLS]

mias, on 13 September 2011 - 12:48 PM, said:

You cannot just sit back and wait for her to be helped though.

i've just spoken to my mum and this sentence has come at the EXACT right moment. The problem now seems to be we need help but no one seems to be able to give us a clear or useful answer (maybe there isnt one....)

It's really good to know that we just need to keep trying to get something done.

It feels like everytime i get some more information from back home it's a bit of a set back. The latest thing is that she wants to be in Salisbury (where her psychiatrist and doctor are) but she's currently in bristol with my mum and dad (she would be 'homeless' if she stayed in salisbury as she was living with her boyfriend- this whole situation is so complicated, sorry if this is all rambling and doesnt make much sense). So now we are at a point where she is between local authority responsibilities. i've looked though some more rethink info and will take your advice to keep pushing for help so i'm sure that will make a difference.

My mum also let me know something which has just set my mind racing and has made me really angry, when she was in the hospital a couple of people from the mental health community team (i think) came in and spoke to her for 5 mins read through her notes and told my parents she probably had a 'mood disorder' and wasnt bipolar.....she's been diagnoised and treated by two different doctors for the last 3 years so how can they say that?!?!

Has anyone else had something like this happen? how can someone who just has a 'mood disorder' have so many symptoms of bipolar and have done something this extreme (and tried many times before).



it's really good to just write this stuff down, thank you all, you guys are awesome. xxx

This post has been edited by KLS: 13 September 2011 - 06:42 PM

[ChrisB]

KLS, on 13 September 2011 - 07:22 PM, said:

Has anyone else had something like this happen? how can someone who just has a 'mood disorder' have some many symptoms of bipolar and have done something this extreme (and tried many times before).

Yep........ I was admitted to hospital and told by a locum psychiatrist that I had an unsable personality disorder......

I told me GP who said, and I quote........ "Well thats crap!"

I think "disorder" is the buzz word at the moment.....

[KLS]

ChrisB, on 13 September 2011 - 06:37 PM, said:

Yep........ I was admitted to hospital and told by a locum psychiatrist that I had an unsable personality disorder......

I told me GP who said, and I quote........ "Well thats crap!"

I think "disorder" is the buzz word at the moment.....

Thanks Chris, that actually makes me feel so much better knowing that has happened to someone else. I will let my parents know too as they were shocked and confused when they were told that.

[CaptSpaceBat]

I suppose it does take some time to pin down an "exact" diagnosis; my list of lables went along the lines of:

• Panic disorder
• Anxiety Disorder
• Affective Disorder
• Personality Disorder
• Borderline Personality Disorder

although my consultant psychotherapist errs towards "Mixed Personality Disorder", which is more than one of the Personality Disorders, usually accompanied by Bipolar Disorder. Oh - and possibly any combination of Dissociative Identity Disorder, Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Obsessive-Compulsive (you guessed!) Disorder. Everything except Typographical Disorder …

Due to the pervasive nature of these conditions, it can take quite a time to work out quite how much each aspect of one's inner and outer life has been affected in order to meet clinical diagnostic checklists. Getting appropriate help was the next stumbling block, which led me to consider that the continual rediagnosis was a means of interdepartmental buck-passing and cost-dodging. This may just be cynicism on my part, but I did end up having to get the necessary human rights legislation information from the Rethink Info & Advice Service with which to cajole my local PCT into action.

Trying to nail anyone down to agree what is suitable, available and realistic care, planning and help can be fraught; if you can enlist the help of an advocate, who is not personally involved but there in the best interest of you and your sister, the road ahead might seem more manageable.

There is more info on advocates at http://www.rethink.o...http://www.rethink.org/living_with_mental_illness/rights_and_laws/advocacy/what_do_advocates_do.html

[KLS]

CaptSpaceBat, on 13 September 2011 - 08:08 PM, said:

Getting appropriate help was the next stumbling block, which led me to consider that the continual rediagnosis was a means of interdepartmental buck-passing and cost-dodging. This may just be cynicism on my part, but I did end up having to get the necessary human rights legislation information from the Rethink Info & Advice Service with which to cajole my local PCT into action.

It might seem odd to say but i can't tell you how comforting it was to read that, as thats how i feel about what has happened these last two days. Speaking to my parents on the phone today i could hear the almost hopelessness in their voices but i feel confident now that this happens to a lot of people and there are ways around it.

Thank you so much for the advocacy info, this was mentioned today (but my parents had never been told something like this even existed before) and now i can read up on it

xx

[mias]

KLS, on 13 September 2011 - 09:23 PM, said:

It might seem odd to say but i can't tell you how comforting it was to read that, as thats how i feel about what has happened these last two days. Speaking to my parents on the phone today i could hear the almost hopelessness in their voices but i feel confident now that this happens to a lot of people and there are ways around it.

Thank you so much for the advocacy info, this was mentioned today (but my parents had never been told something like this even existed before) and now i can read up on it

xx

KLS

How are things today. If you get the time, do let us know if your parents and sister get some help that helps.

[KLS]

mias, on 15 September 2011 - 05:50 PM, said:

KLS

How are things today. If you get the time, do let us know if your parents and sister get some help that helps.

Hi Mias (and everyone),

The last couple of days have been ok. Someone from the crisis team has been coming around to visit my sister every other day which is good, but i think my parents are struggling at the moment. Someone is coming around tomorrow so i'm hoping to hear what the latest is then. I've also booked to go back home next weekend so hopefully i can help in person in someway (although i'm not really sure what i can do that will help)

xxx

[mias]

You just being there will be of help.

[KLS]

Hi All,

Thanks again for all your advice, things seem to be calming down a little more now. I've made sure i've told my parents that we need to make sure we keep pushing for things to be done, but we've had more help than ever before so thats good at least.

Hope you all have a lovely week

::: (\_(\
*: (=’ :’) :*
•.. (,(”)(”)¤°.¸¸.•´¯`»

[ChrisB]

Thanks for the update KLS, sounds positive too

[young sibling]

Glad to hear that you seem to be getting somewhere.

Take care

[mias]

KLS, on 16 September 2011 - 08:53 PM, said:

Hi Mias (and everyone),

The last couple of days have been ok. Someone from the crisis team has been coming around to visit my sister every other day which is good, but i think my parents are struggling at the moment. Someone is coming around tomorrow so i'm hoping to hear what the latest is then. I've also booked to go back home next weekend so hopefully i can help in person in someway (although i'm not really sure what i can do that will help)

xxx

Good Evening,

I may have missed you, but hope your weekend goes alright

[KLS]

Hi all,

I managed to get home for a few days to help out and things seem to be stable for now. The crisis team have been good and we're getting more help than before.

Hope you all had nice weekends

Xxxx