[Fifi]

Hi,

My sister had been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and was on a care in the community order when she murdered my mother. I'm looking to connect and share with other people who are co-victims of violence from people suffering from mental illness.

Thanks,

Fiona

[I am an Aardvark]

Hi Fiona

What a terrible & tragic story, I'm very sorry to hear of your loss.

Where is your sister now? I have never been a victim of someone with a MH condition; so I cannot comment on your question.

[Fifi]

Lotso, on 06 March 2011 - 03:22 PM, said:

Hi Fiona

What a terrible & tragic story, I'm very sorry to hear of your loss.

Where is your sister now? I have never been a victim of someone with a MH condition; so I cannot comment on your question.

Hi,

She is in a medium security psychiatric hospital awaiting trial. I've not been able to bring myself to see her or have any contact with her.

Fiona

[I am an Aardvark]

It's terribly sad Fiona. I understand that you don't want to see her.

Are you getting support?

[Fifi]

Lotso, on 06 March 2011 - 05:27 PM, said:

It's terribly sad Fiona. I understand that you don't want to see her.

Are you getting support?

Hi,

Yes. I have been getting all kinds of therapy which are helping although I can't work right now. I'm still in some level of PTSD. It has really messed me up. It is really hard to reconcile my intense pain over losing my mother in such an awful way and the idea that maybe she is not responsible for what she did.

She stabbed her more than twenty times and left her to die in the street.

Fiona

[I am an Aardvark]

I can only imagine that it's something that will always be there - & impossible to completely come to terms with.

It's not anything within my experience; so I can't really offer any advice or comment in any way. There are other posters here that may be able to offer better advice.

Glad that your getting some support.

[Fifi]

Lotso, on 06 March 2011 - 05:52 PM, said:

I can only imagine that it's something that will always be there - & impossible to completely come to terms with.

It's not anything within my experience; so I can't really offer any advice or comment in any way. There are other posters here that may be able to offer better advice.

Glad that your getting some support.

Thank you for your compassion.

[Peer - Rethink]

Hi Fiona,

I am sorry to hear your tragic news and I hope that you can find some comfort here on Rethink Talk and maybe understand the complex issues surrounding mental health. If you feel you would like to contact the Rethink advice team then you can find details on our main site at:


http://www.rethink.o...tion/index.html

Our helpline runs from 10am to 1pm Monday to Friday or you can email them on advice@rethink.org if you prefer. They may know of a group that will be able to support you and help you through this difficult time.

You may also like to visit the Rethink Siblings page which has some additional information that you may find interesting:

http://www.rethink.o...ings/index.html


Peer.

[Peer - Rethink]

Hi Fiona,

I have two more links that might be of help:

Victim Support:

http://www.victimsup...by%20a%20murder

Support after Murder and Manslaughter:

http://www.samm.org.uk/


Please let me know if I can be of more help...

Peer.

[Fifi]

Peer - Rethink, on 08 March 2011 - 04:55 AM, said:

Hi Fiona,

I have two more links that might be of help:

Victim Support:

http://www.victimsup...by%20a%20murder

Support after Murder and Manslaughter:

http://www.samm.org.uk/


Please let me know if I can be of more help...

Peer.

Thank you Peer. I'll reach out to these organizations.

Fiona

[mias]

Fifi, on 06 March 2011 - 11:06 PM, said:

Hi,

My sister had been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and was on a care in the community order when she murdered my mother. I'm looking to connect and share with other people who are co-victims of violence from people suffering from mental illness.

Thanks,

Fiona

Hello Fifi,

I am SO sorry to read of this tragedy. There are no words that will be enough. We can only try to imagine just how awful things are for you having to live with what has happened.

Finding others in exactly the same situation as yourself may not be easy as I am sure this sort of violence does not happen very often. But, there are many people on here that will be willing to help you with any questions you may have and to possibly help you try to understand your sister more.


So sorry.

[ramboself]

I may mentioin my girlfriend or ex or whatever got very violent attacked me a no of times sometimes with a hammer when she came off meds

I sectioned her, i've been hoping the relationship could continue, though i get the feeling she's come off meds again, i'm glad i'ved moved out, when i told her psychiatrist i was moving out the psychiatrist said "your leaving P" i know the psychiatrist has seen it all before

I had to section her, someone could have got hurt, i visited her in hospital and looked after her cat, i just wish that if she's on a community treatment order they'd see to it she takes meds, that now looks doubtful due to cuts, i've got some decisions to make

I don't like my meds and can understand people stopping them

[Fifi]

Fifi, on 09 March 2011 - 05:18 PM, said:

Thank you Peer. I'll reach out to these organizations.

Fiona

Hi there,

I'm actually based in the US. Was wondering if you knew of any similar organisations in the US?

Thank you so much!

Fiona

[Peer - Rethink]

Hi Fiona,

I have asked my advice team if they know of any services in the USA that would be able to help and I will post these here soon.

In the meantime I hope your start to the week has been a good one... London seems to be desperate to start spring now with a glimmer of sun on the horizon!!

Peer.

[CaptSpaceBat]

Hi Fiona,

You may find some help through the Nation Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) - who have on-line community pages at
http://www.nami.org/...http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=all_discussion_groups

When I was finally diagnosed, I found the http://www.nami.org site an excellent resource for explaining the bewildering things that were going on in and around me; I hope that you too may find what you need there.

CSB

Quote

About NAMI: Support, Education, Advocacy, and Research
From its inception in 1979, NAMI has been dedicated to improving the lives of individuals and families affected by mental illness.

For three decades, NAMI has established itself as the most formidable grassroots mental health advocacy organization in the country. Dedication, steadfast commitment and unceasing belief in NAMI's mission by grassroots advocates have produced profound changes. NAMI's greatest strength is the dedication of our grassroots leaders and members. We are the families, friends and individuals that serve to strengthen communities across the country.

[Peer - Rethink]

Hi Fiona,

I have spoken to our advice team here at Rethink and they have suggested a couple of places that might be able to offer you advice and support:

http://www.ncvc.org/...?dbID=dash_Home
The National Centre for Victims of Crime




http://www.ipc.nsw.g...ictimsupportusa

Victims Services that gives links to organisations in different parts of the US




Let me us know if we can be of further help...




Peer.

[caspar]

First I really feel for your loss. I hope you are able to connect with services or people who can relate to your experience. This has not been in my experience. I have p. schiz but mercifully have never been deluded to the extent of becoming violent. I can`t speak for your sister but it may be that due to her delusions or faulty thinking she was not responsible for her actions and this as you mention may indeed be very hard to come to terms with. I am not suggesting that what she did was not terrible but she may herself feel traumatised and a victim of events. Obviously I don`t know what her relationship with your mother and yourself was like. She will probably feel much remorse at a later date when she is less deluded. Schizophrenics who are violent are not like psychopaths or other criminally minded people. It`s hard to explain what delusions feel like to someone who has never experienced them. Most are benign or do not lead to violence.I by no means am expert in this area though and am only expressing my personal opinion from experience of nearly 15 yrs with p. schiz. I hope I have not offended you with any of my comments. I appreciate that you will be sensitive at this time. No offence intended. Please stay in touch with us. wishing you well caspar

[Fifi]

Thanks everybody for your input and compassion and especially to Peer for the links. I will check them out.

Fifi

[Gem]

Hi, I know this is an old thread but I just wanted to comment on Fifi's original post seeking solidarity.
My sister suffers psychotic episodes and throughout my childhood abused me. She is 4 years older than me. She used to do some minor things like lock me out of the house every day when she was meant to look after me - this was very distressing as a small child - play psychological games to the more extreme bashing my head against walls and floors daily and chasing me with a knife.
Fast forward many years we are both in our 30s. She lives in another state and I am glad as it makes me feel safe. However it didn't make me safe from abuse via email.
I drew a line there - the abuse was affecting my work, sport and friendships. I cut off all communication as a measure of self-preservation.
I have two issues I want to raise:
1. I made a requirement of re-establishing contact that she apologise and promise to cease abusing me. I know she is sick but surely when she is on her meds and functioning she should be able to apologise then? My parents say I am asking for too much.
2. My parents have never protected me from her. They treat me like I am a bad daughter and sister for "breaking up the family". They want me to be understanding of my sisters abuse. They have never shown compassion for the effect her abuse has had on me. I think it is because they don't want to accept just how violent she gets.
Does anyone have a similar story?
And thank you Fifi for posting your story. I scour the internet for stories of family members who are victims of violence from mentally ill relatives but they are very hard to find. Most stories seem to be about supporting the mentally ill and silencing the stories of violence for fear of propagating stigma.