Latest posts to the siblings forum http://www.rethink.org/talk/index.php Mon, 20 Feb 2012 16:41:39 +0000 10 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/3628-scared-of-what-the-future-may-bring/
My younger brother (my only sibling) is 35 and has had a diagnosis of schizophrenia since he was about 20. He has his own flat but spends most of the time living with my mum in her house as he finds it very hard to cope on his own. He has been hospitalised a couple of times over the years but seems to live most of his life in a delusional state. He takes medication sporadically but has no insight into his illness. I don't think that he believes he is ill.

He is very hostile and his manner, although not physically aggressive, is beligerent and argumentative when he is at his worst. He spends many hours ruminating and has no friends or any activities that he takes part in.

This has had a huge impact on my mum. My dad died about 5 years ago and I wondered if my brother would improve after that, as my father was a very critical, unpleasant person. But he seems to be worse now. My mum finds it all very stressful but has allowed him to become over dependent on her. She does everything for him including going up to his flat to clean it as well as looking after her own home and the mess he creates there.

My brother does not speak to me other than to say hello and to tell me about his latest delusional theories. I find it very distressing to be around him and my 3 children are also becoming more wary of him.

I feel so sad for my mum who seems unable to draw boundaries in their relationship to ensure her own well being.

I'm also (selfishly? I don't know) very worried about what will happen when my mum dies. I am the only sibling so no doubt will assume next of kin role. I just have horrible visions of him lying in squalor in his flat and me having to deal with all that...making sure he is still alive every few days...

Does anyone have any similar experiences? I feel very sad when I remember the person my brother used to be - the sweet, loving and affectionate boy and intelligent young man with his future ahead of him. Now he is someone quite different and it's heart breaking.

Thanks for reading this far.]]> Mon, 20 Feb 2012 16:41:39 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/3628-scared-of-what-the-future-may-bring/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5611-hi-need-advice/
I have joined this forum to ask for help in regards to my brother. I am worried about him. I am not sure where to post as I have just joined and I am looking through the forum so any advice helpful!

Thanks in advance!

Regards

Hera]]> Tue, 07 Feb 2012 11:50:53 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5611-hi-need-advice/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5900-long-term-options-for-my-sister/
I'm sure my older sister's story will sound familiar to many people on this site.

She is 37 years old and was diagnosed with schizophrenia in her early 20s. She was in hospital for about 6 months and has been living in sheltered accommodation since then although spends most nights with my parents who live 10 miles away. My father has advanced Parkinson's disease so it is a huge burden on my mum as she is his full time carer. I live in London, and they live in Norfolk. My sister is my only sibling. She actually, recently, had another diagnosis of Aspergers. We thought this would help move her forward (it happened on her instigation as she had read something about Aspergers and identified with it) but it hasn't.

She is a fit and active person, desperate to lead a normal life, yet can't hold down a job, can't make friends and doesn't really cope on her own. She lacks occupation and so is very frustrated and takes it out on my parents most of the time, or me. She spends most of her time pacing around the kitchen in circles ruminating. She also takes her medication only erratically and has got into a bad cycle of staying awake all night in a highly anxious state which often results in my mother trying to calm her down until late into the night.

We worry about her future so much. We long for her to be somewhere where people look out for her, where she can see people every day, and where activities are laid on for her so that she isn't so frustrated. We don't feel she'll ever be able to work, but she is in a constantly anxious state about what to do.

Does anyone know of any long term housing options/ or places that someone like my sister could live? Almost like a supported community? The current situation feels completely unsustainable and she is only getting more frustrated and more lonely but we don't know how to help her.

I'd so appreciate any advice!

Sarah]]> Fri, 03 Feb 2012 01:26:36 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5900-long-term-options-for-my-sister/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5690-dont-stop-believing/
Christmas has been a diffcult time for many but it has also been a time for sharing and catching up. This christmas i can tell of two inspiring moments of a brothers and sisters support that inspired me over the festive period.

My first story is how a sister who helps (loves) her poorly brother and she helped us to make christmas presents in her kitchen with four of his new friends who also have psychosis. We made two lots of fudge and we had so much fun. The sister got some lovely paper and wrapped them all up for the boys to take home in little parcels for them to give out on christmas day to their loved ones.

The other is using sport. We really encourage it. Whether its kicking a football or playing badminton it all counts as quality time. More importantly some of the drugs used put weight on and we need to support people in maintaining healthy lifestyles. The story is of two brothers winning a local badminton tournament. I can't go into to much detail but it was a great achievement. We also play football and the brother now comes along even when his brother is at college and supports others.

Good luck to you all]]> Mon, 30 Jan 2012 09:38:54 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5690-dont-stop-believing/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5384-long-time-since-i-last-posted/
Its been nearly a year since I last posted here, it was just after I lost my brother.

Its coming up to that time of year, the first anniversary of his death and I am struggling so bad. I have had a long term battle with depression myself and I feel like today it has taken hold of me. I have work at 5.30 and have no idea how I'm going to function. I feel like I'm on another planet today.

I have been organising some fundraising for Rethink Mental Illness recently and was on my local radio station yesterday discussing it, I think whilst this was great to do and very rewarding it has mentally exhausted me. I have sat here all morning trying to attempt uni work and just keep bursting in to tears.

I am doing something great in memory of my brother but I would rather just have him here with me today, I feel so alone without him. I feel so angry that he suffered, that anyone is suffering with mental illness. I just don't understand it at all today. Does anyone else every feel like this?]]> Thu, 12 Jan 2012 18:23:55 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5384-long-time-since-i-last-posted/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5533-does-it-stop-a-bit-of-ranting/
My brother was let out of hospital on leave an Friday and for the most part was actually doing ok. He was still a little sketchy and scattered but trying to get it together. He was then told to go back to the hospital on Monday and if he was ok he would be officially released. After 3 hours of being there (with me) and telling the social worker, 2 nurses, the admin and an intern we were there and waiting for his doctor we were finally told no one had told the doctor and he had left!!!!!! We were actually in sight of the nurses station the whole time. Eventually my brother got upset (he’s not good and not knowing what’s going on) and they paid attention to him and got the emergency doctor to see him who told him that his doctor had left and he could just stay the night in the hospital until the doctor returned in the morning. Surprisingly my brother wasn’t happy about this new plan (imagine that!!) and lost it again very insistent that he wanted to be at home. They finally agreed and told him to come back the next day (today) and see the doctor. All very annoying but not the end of the world and able to be dealt with. I then took him home again and he seemed ok.

Today I get a call from him saying he had been arrested! He was arrested for not showing up at a court case which was scheduled for the time he was in hospital. Despite me being assured for 9 days while he was in hospital that this wouldn’t happen. I discussed it with the social worker, the doctor, his case worker and through her the mental health legal liaison officer – all of these people assured me the court had been advised and he would be fine!!!!!! Apparently not! It seems that even though all these people did their jobs this didn’t filter to the police. 8 police woke my brother up this morning and arrested him! (before he had taken his meds). They also didn’t believe him when he repeatedly told them he was in hospital.

So as a result of this I now get to deal with a particularly strung out brother. Stress levels are totally up. He is refusing to go back to his house for fear of the police getting him. He also wont go back to the hospital because if he wasn’t in hospital he would have been able to go to court. So unhelpful.... ****ing bureaucracy. A stupid lack of communication.

I feel like a bit of foot stomping. It is so hard having a brother who is ill. It makes such a huge impact on my life. I had to pick up my flat mate from a nasty doctor appointment which I had to rush too and generally not be able to give her the support she needed. I also missed a florist class I was booked in to do tonight which I will still have to pay $95 for. It was to create Christmas table centrepieces and I have been looking forward to it for months and booked it 3 weeks ago thinking.... surely things will have settled down by then. This is the only thing I had organised this Christmas for myself!!

I’m just worn out. The thought that this is never going to stop is just so daunting. I know the protect myself line etc, but what do I do when I have a person who has been traumatised by the police, scared and telling me he just wants to be with me and feel safe and rest. I can’t just tell him to go away. There isn’t anyone else.

So sorry to be ranting I am just frustrated.

I hope you are all having better days.

Fran]]> Mon, 09 Jan 2012 17:01:39 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5533-does-it-stop-a-bit-of-ranting/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5397-keeping-things-positive/
My sister has been doing ok these last few months and things seemed to have been fairly stable at home. Then this week a person who my sister thought was her friend decided it would be ok to really upset her. I can't believe that this person did this to my sister seeing as they know what she's been through over the last few months. I've called her everyday and tried to keep the conversation upbeat.

I just wonder what other siblings do when they are trying to keep a brother or sister positive even in difficult circumstances, is it just a case of being upbeat? does that sometimes sound too patronising and it's better to take another approach?



KLS]]> Tue, 20 Dec 2011 12:51:23 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5397-keeping-things-positive/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5462-any-advice-would-be-great/ I’m looking for advice on practical ways to talk to someone with deluded and confused thoughts and paranoia. I am actually just looking for advice – any will do!! :-)

My younger brother only just 18 was sectioned to the mental health unit at the hospital this week. He has not been ok for the last 18 months and really psychotic for the last 6 months. He declined very rapidly. He has not yet had a formal diagnosis yet, he has only been in hospital for 4 days but his behaviour is agreed to be psychotic.

I am so sad. It is such a horrendous thing to watch. He is refusing to talk to my parents. I am his only sibling and his only support (aside from medical). I know he is in the right place and only place he could be to get help but I don’t yet know how to deal with him. He is medicated but doesn’t think there is anything wrong with him. He is a long long way off understanding anything about his condition.

I am getting counselling which helps but I still need more answers. My friends don’t know what to do and are not really being very supportive. I am talking to my parents and they are supporting me but they are devastated too.

The brother I knew seems to have gone. He once was kind, sweet, gentle, creative and had a wonderful sense of humour and lots of friends. He is now angry, confused, he lies, steals, he is so serious and has no humour or ‘lightness’, he is very isolated and has lost all his friends, he thinks the police are after him (they are now because he keeps stealing), he thinks people are following him, he has different ‘moods’/ persona, the worst being he thinks he is a ‘gangster’.

I don’t know what to say to him when he is being psychotic / deluded. He wants me to collude with him and “get where he’s coming from”, “I just don’t understand his world”. The problem is I don’t understand and I don’t get it. He isn’t making sense. He asks me why he is being held and can’t go home. How do you help someone understand they are sick? I am currently visiting him every day in the hospital and it is really hard. What do you say to someone who is being 'manic'?

I jump between wanting to help/rescue him and wanting to run in the opposite direction. I know I can’t give up on him. I know early intervention helps. But I am tired. This is only week one of formally knowing he has an illness but my mother, father and I have known for some time and it is so exhausting. I am overcome with grief and sadness for him and my family. It has already affected my relationship with all of my close girlfriends and coming close to affecting the relationship with my partner.

I can’t just stop helping him. This seems to be the only advise people who don’t understand can give. I know it is important to look after myself but I can’t not help him, there isn’t anyone else who will.

I am in Brisbane, Australia and I need to know more about support options and what is out there. This is the best site I have found and would love to hear any advice people can offer.

Thank you – Sorry to have gone on a bit it is nice to get it off my chest.
Fran]]> Sat, 17 Dec 2011 16:09:38 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5462-any-advice-would-be-great/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5336-such-a-relief-to-find-this-site/
Basically my brother’s been ill for as long as I can remember, at least the last 18 years anyway (he’s 34, I’m 37). He was sectioned yesterday (for the third time) – the last diagnosis we had was schizophrenia, although that’s been questioned since. In any case, he had a psychotic episode yesterday morning and was taken to hospital by the police. He’s now in a secure unit under Section 3.

I’ve only just discovered this site and I felt like crying this morning when I found it. It’s such a relief to know there’s some support for me out there. As the sister, I often feel a bit on the edge of things (not being next of kin means I can't always get information from the mental health / crisis teams about what's happening) and I often keep all of my emotions around it all (guilt, sadness, anger, embarrassment, fear, frustration...) buried inside.

At times I’ve been really involved in what’s going on with my brother's health, and have had contact with the mental health team and hospital staff, and offered my parents a lot of support (anyone else had that feeling that you’re parenting your parents?). At other times, I’ve had to distance myself from it all and just dip in and out (which makes me feel guilty now he's in hospital again that I didn't do more).

It’s just so exhausting. We’ve been going through this for years now and it has such a huge negative impact on us all (my brother included, of course). The main issue is that he denies he is ill, particularly when he’s not medicated. He says there’s nothing wrong with him, when there clearly is and his illness prevents him from moving on with his life. It’s so difficult trying to help someone who doesn't want to be helped (or doesn’t have the awareness that they’re ill and they need be helped if they want to move forward). Anyone else had a similar experience?

I won’t go on for much longer anyway as it's already turning into a bit of an essay. It's already helping just to write some of it down, and to know there are other people out there in a similar situation to me. Any thoughts or advice you can share with me would be very gratefully received. Thanks in advance.]]> Fri, 16 Dec 2011 20:49:06 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5336-such-a-relief-to-find-this-site/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5445-how-to-respond-to-someone-being-manic/
I got the feeling he just wanted to talk and talk and talk at a million miles an hour, and if I hadn't stopped him and said I needed to get on with some other things, and I'd call him again tomorrow, I think he could have talked for hours. It was also quite detailed stuff about websites he's hoping to develop, and domain names he's thinking of buying and things I don't really know much about.

My question really is 'how do you think it's best to respond someone when they're talking very manically like that'? I didn't want to keep interrupting and it was difficult to know what to say in response. I didn't want to discourage him from the things he was talking about, but at the same time, I felt he was getting himself into a bit of tiz trying to think up his big money-making website scheme.

I do understand the value of just listening so I tried to do that, but it was quite exhausting.

I wonder if he will be less manic once his meds take full effect (perhaps two weeks is too soon for that to have happened?). Another positive was that he said he's happy with his new meds and doesn't feel as drowsy on them.

As always, any thoughts or advice very gratefully received. Thanks for reading.]]> Tue, 13 Dec 2011 17:45:11 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5445-how-to-respond-to-someone-being-manic/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/3683-making-your-voice-heard/
What has helped me to get a better understanding of mental illness and for siblings is to read case studies from those who have fisrt hand knowledge. I am lucky to work with a colleague who's brother has schizophrenia and this adds a new perspective on how we should work. There is also some great text books aimed at us health care professionals that i think are suitable for all to help provide guidance and understanding in mental illness. Reading your entries helps me professionally to try and do my job better and see the bigger picture. I would like to encourage you all to keep going and share your stories.

A generic piece of advice that i would like to share is the use of the Citizens Advice Bureau. They are a great service to help with benefits and housing issues. I would also recommend looking for your nearest carers or advocate service if appropiate.

Good luck to you all and you all do a fantastic job.]]> Tue, 13 Dec 2011 17:41:56 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/3683-making-your-voice-heard/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5394-handled-it-really-badly/
It was just so infuriating to listen to him, he just kept going on and on and on saying there was nothing wrong with him mentally and he just had physical problems (he does have some injuries which he got just before or during his recent psychotic episode, which he's also being treated for). But he completely denies there is anything wrong with him psychologically at all. He was saying he shouldn't be there, and he's a victim in all this and everyone's trying to convince him he has m/h problems when he doesn't.

And I just couldn't handle it. I've been wanting to say to him for days 'why do you think you're in a psychiatric hospital then?'. And i just couldn't hold it in any longer. So I said it. And he flipped out, like totally flipped. He said if I think he has mental health problems, if that's what I genuinely think, then he doesn't want anything to do with me and he's going to say to the doctors that he doesn't want to take my calls anymore. He accused me of taking sides (with my parents, with the mental health team I'm not sure exactly who with). And then he said 'if you were my brother (ie. if I was male), I would kick the s**t out of you now. And then he hung up on me.

I know it's because he's mentally unwell that he spoke to me like this. And I'm trying to remind myself of that. But it's so so hard to hear your brother say that to you.

I feel like I handed it all completely wrong. I feel like I've made it all a lot worse. ]]> Tue, 06 Dec 2011 17:33:37 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5394-handled-it-really-badly/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/3411-hello-brother-with-schizophrenia/ I wanted to say hello to everyone. I have just registered today. My oldest brother has severe paranoid schisophrenia and was diagnosed over 25 years ago now. I have been very much involved in his care over the years and really struggled with depression and trauma as a result. I am on the waiting list for yet more counselling, due to all the stress.

They don't seem to be able to do much for my bro really. He is allergic to most medications and well does n't really like complying. He is very forgetful and constantly yabbering away to himself. Stuff that just does not make sense. Which can be a bit tiring really. It would be nice to have a normal conversation with him.

Just thought I'd say hello to you all]]> Thu, 01 Dec 2011 14:40:38 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/3411-hello-brother-with-schizophrenia/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5063-help/
I'll keep this brief and to the point.
My brother has a history of being physical and verbal abusive towards our family.
3 years ago we had filed a restraining order. He decided to move out of town where he got a place of his own and obtained financial support for his illness.

He's been recently diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. While trying to find a new place to live he started to hear voices. My mom decided to bring him home. About a month later, he had attacked me and I called the police. I decided not to press charges. But my mother convinced him to be admitted voluntarily at the local hospital.

He was administered a shot and returned home against medical advice. My mom has decided to let him stay at home and give him time to figure out how to seek treatment on his own as he wishes.

For the past 3 months he refuses to take the medication he's been issued and he refuses to seek counselling. I feel it's only a matter of time before he has another psychotic episode. We've seen a few family counsellors who deal with mental illness but my mom isn't convinced of how serious this situation really is.

Please help.]]> Wed, 30 Nov 2011 17:33:46 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5063-help/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5317-i-dont-know-if-i-can-do-this-again/
At 15 my sister started cutting herself. I saw this as a hugely destructive and dangerous behavior that needed to be addressed. At first I tried lobbying my parents to take her to a counselor, but they refused, I spoke to anyone who would listen to me, but since I wasn’t her guardian nothing came of my attempts then to get her any kind of help. In fact rather than helping my parents decided that once again this was my fault and that if I would just stop “poisoning” her thoughts with my advice to get counseling she would be fine, so they cut off almost all contact with me and kept her from me as best they could. I was still able to keep in contact with her somewhat through my brother who didn’t want to make waves but knew I was the only person who was really speaking up for what was best for her. He would have her over to visit him for the weekend and invite me over as well, and things like that so I did still have some contact with her. My parents refusal to get her any help and the way they treated me because I spoke up resulted in a huge rift that to this day is not and probably will never be mended. To them I simply do not exist except for once or twice a year when they send me hate filled emails about how much I have “poisoned” the family. After all this time I am used to them blaming me so I just ignore them when they are being hateful.

Ever since my sister turned 18 and moved out of their house she has been taking medication on and off, but throughout we have had a close relationship. Even when she has been making bad choices she has always come to me, to talk about it. She has made some bad choices, she dropped out of high school, she does not seem able or willing to be accountable for her actions/attitude the way a grown up would be, she spent a year on probation for drug possession, she rarely works, she lies a lot, etc I’m not here to list all of her flaws, I bet you all get the picture, so I’ll just leave it at that. But even when she has made these choices she has come to me and we have been able to talk about it. She also had not cut (as best as I could tell) or anything like that since she moved out. She tells me that I am the only sane person who she can talk to that will love her no matter what, and she calls my house her refuge. In the last 6 months she has been having problems again. Doing things that are obviously irresponsible, and then blaming others for being upset at how her irresponsibility effects them. She has also been having problems with her boyfriend, and has been becoming more distant from me. I found out last week that he throws her furniture when he gets upset and I told her that I was scared for. She said she didn’t want to talk about it, so I let it go, but I did tell her that if she needed help to get out of the relationship my house would be a place she could come to that would be safe. My brother in law (as in my husbands brother, not her boyfriend) who is also close to her told me 3 days ago that she was very upset with me because “I am judging her and don’t love her”. He spoke up and said that I am trying to help her and that I love her and don’t judge her, but she doesn’t believe him either. She told me yesterday that her and her boyfriend were enrolled in couple’s counseling, but that it turns out is a lie. Yesterday I was making Thanksgiving plans with her. I had invited her but hadn’t heard back so I wanted to touch base to find out one way or the other. When I talked to her to ask her plan she declined the invitation stating that her schedule was to “up in the air” and that it would be easier for her to go to Thanksgiving with my Mom at an aunts house, and I told her that was cool, and that if at any point she changed her mind it was no problem for me to set an extra space at the table. Well last night a couple hours after I talked to her she attempted suicide. She is in the hospital right now, but she is going to be medically fine. She has been involuntarily committed for at least 72 hours, and we are all just waiting to see what will happen after that. I have already offered my house as a place she can stay at after she gets out of the hospital but at this point she has declined it. I know that a few days of counseling and being back on her meds can make a lot of change in her state of mind, so I just said that if she changed her mind the offer would still be open to her.

I want to help I really do, but she does not want help, she lies to her doctors and to me, and does not take her meds. She is my baby sister, and so much more than that to me, I love her more than I can even say, but I can’t force her to cooperate and be honest with her doctors. I am frustrated and feeling rejected. I am kind, loving, and accepting. No I am not an enabler and I do have boundaries ( I do have to keep my kids and family cared for as well), but I am not poisoning her mind or judging her. I have never done anything other than love her, care for her, look out for her, and look out for her best interest. As I said I am frustrated, but even worse than that I don’t know if I can do this again. I have spent 20 years a full ⅔ of my life riding this roller coaster, first with my mother and now with her, and finally it seemed like things were getting better. The end to the madness was practically in sight, even with poor choices up until recently there was improvement, even if it was small it gave me hope that eventually things would be ok. And now we are back to square one. I frankly don’t know if I have it in me to get back on this roller coaster and ride again, lots of people who are faced with this have fear of the unknown, but I am suffering from fear of the known. I know what lies ahead, and I want to help I really do, but she does not want help it. I don’t know if I have the strength to go through this again. My husband's family is supportive of me, they have seen what I have gone through in the past and they know that I have and will continue to give as much as I can to her, but nobody else seems to understands how I could possibly feel this way. Ultimately she is my sister and I will do everything I can to help, but it breaks my heart to know that this nightmare is starting again for my family.]]> Wed, 23 Nov 2011 07:57:16 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5317-i-dont-know-if-i-can-do-this-again/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5147-end-of-tether/
Rant alert. At end of tether, and not for the first time. Thank goodness for sibling support!

I can’t do this anymore.

Not life in general. But drop everything, and be there emotionally, every time, at the drop of a hat. I have a young family and they need me. I feel guilty and I must learn not too. I must learn to communicate this better, and accept it won’t be taken well.

Even after 20 years, I feel the same anger, resentment, frustration. That I can’t, without any doubt say, I will never have to pick up the phone, and deal with a crisis. I know this is selfish, gloomy and pessimistic, but I have to get it out of my system or it festers away, and others suffer.

I can just about handle most of what this illness sends. I can handle the pain, tears, loneliness, anxiety; even the mother of all losses, and I’m not talking suicide (though there have been plenty of attempts).

I cannot handle the smoking dope, taking speed and cocaine and not taking meds. And I absolutely cannot take the rudeness, anger and contradiction.

I want to go back to work and not get emergency calls and be placed with excruciating life or death dilemmas.

I don’t want to have to decide over and over again, whether or not to explain, to new and different people, in every walk of life.

For the umpteenth time I feel as if I don’t know how to move forward. I cannot let this illness push me from another career. But services will only support her if she takes her meds. It is just me and my elderly parents. Or A&E. Services have badly let her down in the past and I cannot blame her for sometimes not feeling able to trust them. I can and do blame her for taking recreationals and not taking meds. Ouch.

I want someone to call when I sense a crisis, to give me support, so that I can support. Someone suicide intervention trained, because I am, and it would really help to talk things over. I want someone who knows the history and triggers, and who also can give 1 or 2, or 3 (4 or 5) hours, or several days worth, of emotional support to my sister. Whatever it takes, to listen, support and help get back on track. I want someone I can rely on to step in and take over when I know I cannot. I will not take the piss I promise. I want this person to always be available, because I love her and want her to stay alive.

I have been in this game too long. I know It. Is. Just. Not. There.

There, that feels better out than in. Thanks for reading ]]> Wed, 23 Nov 2011 02:57:11 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/5147-end-of-tether/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/4458-any-advise-is-really-appreciated/
I'm new to the forum and have only just discovered Rethink and i'm so pleased i've found it.

My older sister (30) is Bipolar and has been getting on ok for the last few years. On Friday night she took an overdose and is currently still in the hospital. She's concious but might have done damage to her liver. She's done this before (4 times) but this time she took more than ever before. My parents are absolutly distraught and me and my younger sister just dont know what we can do to help.

When she has done this before the hospital just sent her home and arranged some councling for a week or two (this was before she was properly diagnoised with being bipolar).

I'm so worried now the hospital will send her home again. My parents work full time and can't give her the full time care she needs, i know she will try and do this again and i feel so stuck because she needs to be in care and have 24 hour supervision.

I've phoned rethink and they were fantastic and are going to email me some information, but i just wondred if anyone has had a similar experience. I've also had a look at some care homes where she lives and they seem to be £600 a week (my sister hasnt worked for years as she has ME as well as being bipolar) and we can't afford that kind of money a week. I just dont know what to do because i cant have this happen again to my sister and to my family.

Thank you so much for any advice, this has been one of the worst experiences of my life and i'm so grateful that there is somewhere which provides help for siblings.

xxx]]> Sun, 30 Oct 2011 11:30:06 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/4458-any-advise-is-really-appreciated/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/4968-my-big-brother/
Before I start I must apologise cos I am going to rant lots!!

2006 - my brother split from his girlfriend of 20 years. This was my first dealing as being a carer for my older brother (who is now aged 46).

August 2006 - my brother had just returned from a psychologist appointment. I was at my mums and he broke down and told me private details of what he had just discussed with his psychologist. I have never seen him as low as this and he repeatedly was telling me he wanted to end his life.

I took him home and this was my first dealing with his mental health team. I phoned them for help and advice on how to deal with my brother who was repeatedly telling me he wanted to kill himself. The reply from the gentleman on the phone to me was “my brother is old enough to make his own mind up”. I was so angry and frustrated with this person and argued on the phone with him. I eventually gave up (as I was clearly getting nowhere) and returned to help my brother. This was the start of my dealings with his mental health team - I would need to write a book to describe the dealings my brother and I have both had with them!

This was the start of my life being my brother's carer, psychiatrist and doctor. I knew from this day on that his girlfriend of 20 years was gone and it would be up to me and my mum to care for my brother.

My brother from a very young age has always been a very shy, reclusive, unlucky individual. But his real problems began in 2001 when he was working as a roofer and a brick fell on his head - he began to act very strange. Then in September 2002 he was an innocent victim of a deliberate house fire. From this day on his life has just gone from bad to worse.

July 2011 - after years of trying to get help from his doctor and mental health team I called the police as once again I thought he had killed himself - this was the first time I had involved the police. They could clearly see he was a vulnerable adult and wanted him to be hospitalised and called his mental health team who asked for him to be taken to them for assessment - he was sent home to return the following morning to see a psychiatrist. I went along with him to this appointment and the diagnosis I was given (after 5+ year of trying to get one) was - since an early age has severe depression (which can be treated with a pill) following the head injury he has personality disorder and following the fire he has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (both these conditions are not treatable by a pill and it is up to my brother to learn to live with them). I am still unsure if this is the correct diagnosis - he displays a range of behaviours ranging from occasional normality to manic behaviour, raging anger, detachment, confusion, paranoia, deep depression, self loathing and suicidal and apparently delusional thoughts.

He is prescribed a wide range of powerful drugs and it seems to me that a large part of his problem is the inability to self-medicate reliably. He is prescribed such a volume of drugs (Venlafaxine, Epilim, high strength Co-Codamol, Diazepam and Triazepan) that he often ends up taking the wrong quantities at the wrong times, or not at all.

I am married with two young children and a part time job. My brother lives 30 miles away from me and on many occasions I have to leave my family to go and make sure he is okay. Since the incident in August this year I am trying to get him rehoused to be closer to me and my family. I feel a little anxious about this but I know deep down I will never give up on him and feel that if he is living closer to me I will be able to offer him more support.

Thank you so much for listening to my rants - I am so grateful that I have found somewhere which provides help for siblings. xxx]]> Sat, 29 Oct 2011 22:10:18 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/4968-my-big-brother/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/4613-telling-children/
I am looking for any advice on how to start an open dialogue with my 13 year old Son about my younger sisters mental illness.

Whilst I do not feel that we are in any way a secretive family we have tended to keep the actual details and "keywords" away from my Son, but at 13 I feel he is at an age where he really needs to know the details.

I know I have to discuss this with my Sister first but after that I am not sure how to bring it up with my Son or whether to just wait until he asks? He is aware that she is on medication, spends time in hospital, doesn't work etc and I want him to understand better how these things tie together.

Thank for reading

M]]> Tue, 11 Oct 2011 22:21:58 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/4613-telling-children/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/4741-bi-polar-sister/ Thu, 06 Oct 2011 18:40:05 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/4741-bi-polar-sister/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/4615-help-for-my-brother/ My brother has mental health and substance abuse issues, and refuses to get help. He cannot keep a job
and our family is pretty sure he is bi-polar, he exhitits all of the symptoms, but everytime he agrees
to go get help he backs out. He has seen a psychiatrist but would not take the meds he prescribed for
depression. He saw a psycholgist off and on for a while but will not go now. He and his family live
with my 83 year old mother who is not in good health. He mentally and physically abuses my nephew, and
has had episodes of physical abuse against my mother and sister-in-law. They have called the police
once on him, but they have not been helpful.

What can we do to get him to go for treatment? MY mother has denied him access to the house many times
but always relents when he promises to get help, which he backs out of. Is there anything we can do -
we have contacted all of the relevent mental health agencies around here but the only thing they tell us
we can do is get an order from the magistrate for a 72 hour commitment which my mother is so against.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks in advance


Curly]]> Thu, 29 Sep 2011 02:36:15 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/4615-help-for-my-brother/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/4589-hello-any-advice-would-be-welcomed/
I've just joined and I am so pleased I found this site because I have been looking for advice for our family as my younger brother (now 32. I'm 35) has suffered from Depression ( and a bit agrophobia + anxiety) for over 10 years and to put it bluntly it makes me so angry. It is a long and complicated story (so sorry in advance) and I feel bad that I feel like that but I can't help it. At first I tried to help but I don't think I was the greatest of help ( I have suffered from anxiety but I am still very much from the school of come on we can fix it, get on with it!). I just want him to get on with his life. He puts so much pressure on my parents he doesn't realise it- you can't say anything because he is so oversensitive, a hyperchondriac (I know you are probably thinking 'well he suffers from depression.....' but if I had my period he would have a stomach tumour!! He mimics every illness and will only listen to the doctors and never us. He has a huge chip on his shoulder about our whole family, but we have both been given everything our parents could ever give us), extremely lazy, hysterical, knows more about benefits than working, rude, doesn't try at all and expects everything to be done for him. My parents are lovely and would do anything for us but are passive agressive. They never confront things head on. It drives me nuts and makes me sad at the same time. My parents have 'overly wrapped us in cotton wool' - it's lovely that they love us so much, but it also is massively suffocating. My mum runs everything including running a business in her 70's to keep the family together since my Dad had a stroke 5 years ago (he is also very angry with the world and I can't have a direct conversation with him - he doesn't see the similarities between him and my brother. They sound like clones of each other). I am really worried about my mum having to keep everything going - they need to be allowed to retire but my brother will not move on(even though he has had counselling), he doesn't even pick up the phone to his best friend, seems to live at night (keeping everyone awake),eats the oddest things (because he thinks- fish and chips won't effect his sensitive stomach???? has he thought of the 10 + years he has been on anti-depression medication and the load of parcetalom he gobbles?? But he won't be told). The troubles is I know he can be very kind, clever and considerate- but it is extremely rare and you have to tell him what to do constantly. I just want to scream at him becuase he has become so unbelievably selfish. But its gone on for so long it is easier to ignore him. He lives like a ghost in his room playing his computer all day. I don't know what to do? Any help would be appreciate- sorry for typing so much! Nellie xx]]> Wed, 28 Sep 2011 19:51:20 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/4589-hello-any-advice-would-be-welcomed/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/4302-my-depressed-sister/ Tue, 06 Sep 2011 20:10:26 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/4302-my-depressed-sister/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/4291-my-little-sis/ My younger sister has recently been diagnosed with clinical depression as well as anorexia and also post traumatic stress disorder. Since then i have kind of withdrawn my self from life at home and try to avoid the situation altogether. I have been told by my mum that i need to start taking some responsibility for the situation but i don't know where to start and find it stressful being at home.

Would appreciate your views]]> Wed, 31 Aug 2011 23:14:23 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/4291-my-little-sis/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/4008-my-brother-my-sibling/ It started when I was 21 and since then it's been like the worlds worst roller coaster that you just can not get off,over the past few years he has made to suicide attempts which starts everything all over again and sometimes I just wonder where it's all going to end?have had a breakdown and been in therapy myself for 5years,still live part time at home and part time with partner the guilt of leavin home completely feels unbearable at times and also feel I am my siblings closest friend which makes it harder.Just wondering if anybody else feels in this position.]]> Mon, 08 Aug 2011 12:39:34 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/4008-my-brother-my-sibling/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/3513-hello-all/ Just wanted to introduce myself and give you an idea of my situation. I am at a loss as to which direction to turn and was hoping for some practical advice.
My brother is 42 and was diognosed with paranoid schizophrenia 12 years ago, but has been the same since he was 14 years old. He lives with my parents and generally makes their lives a misery. Mum was diognosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer in February and is extremely ill. However, he continues to makes her life unbearable. My parents are now unable to cope with my brothers problems and have asked me to take over liason with the mental health professionals and to try to get him rehoused.
However, this is prooving impossible as he refuses to leave, fill in relevant application forms or indeed just to sign them. I have come up against a brick wall at every turn. The answer is always the same. My parents have to make him homeless in order for the housing team to even consider getting involved. This obviously puts my parents in an impossible situation as they are physically and mentally unable to cope with such a traumatic upheaval.
I really dont know how to hanle the situation. Obviously I care for my brother and wants him to be housed sensitvely and appropriately, but my mum is fighting death and he is making it even more difficult than it already is.
Does anyone have any suggestion as to how I should approach this or ideas about where to got tot get help?
Thanks so much for listening to my ramblings!
Harreit]]> Thu, 21 Jul 2011 21:48:23 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/3513-hello-all/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/3626-his-needs-vs-mine/ People often spend a lot of time assessing his needs, and doing everything they can to meet them. I often hear people telling me that he needs me to act in a certain way, or needs me to be understanding if something happens to change plans because of him, or needs other people's attention.
My question is, what happens to my needs in all of this? Of course I understand that he has a lot more needs than me, but it seems that everything is focussed on what his needs are, and it's almost as if my needs don't matter any more.]]> Thu, 14 Jul 2011 02:16:27 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/3626-his-needs-vs-mine/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/3509-do-you-think-iam-mean/ my sisiter lives on her own , and has severe mental health problems.she was only diagnosed a few weeks ago,and has just come out of hospital.people are saying that i should be staying over to look after her,but i have a familly,2 sons 13 and 17.the eldest has add, dyslexia and dyspraxia, and i am his carer.he nedds alot of attention,but people forget that.my husband is also not well,he has arthritis.i work part time,but am lookiong for more hours,because we need the money.the past few weeks, i have spent all my time looiking after my sisiter.i feel quite ill myself.i know she is on her own,but the doctors dont seem botherd.i know she is lonely,but i have tried to include her in my family,but she never wanted to know.everyone feels sorry for her,because she lived at home with my parents,and they died 3 years ago.they were also my parents,and it affected me badly.eveyone forgets,they were also my parents.my sisiter gets all the sympathy,but befoere her illness she could do what she wanted,i have always been busy looking after my family.i never have anytime,but people dont seem bothered.i dont want praise,but i dont want critisism.thanks angie. Fri, 08 Jul 2011 09:43:23 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/3509-do-you-think-iam-mean/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/3503-new-and-needs-help/ hi please can you help.my sister had a breakdown 3 weeks ago,and has been diagnosed as having scitzoprenia.she lives on her own, my mum and dad died 3 years ago.i am married with 2 boys aged 13 and 17.the eldest has dyslexia and add, and is quite a handfull.my world has been turned upside down.i have been going down 2 a day to see her, i am feeling very tired, as my husband is also not well, wirh arthritis.last wed. she was sectioned in hosptal, voluntary.she came home today for a few days,and hopefully will be discharged.because she is on her own, i feel so guilty leaving her.i cannot stay with her as i have my own family.other people have made bad comments about me leaving her on her own,but i donot know what to do.the doctors say she is ok to be left.where do i go to get her some sort of help and care.thanks angie Tue, 05 Jul 2011 11:36:30 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/3503-new-and-needs-help/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/3335-caring-for-the-carers/
For her peace of mind, she would prefer to have my brother with her. I've looked around on the internet to see what sheltered accommodation is available but all seem to specify over-65s only. I rang the local Social Services years ago to ask about sheltered housing for my brother, but there is a four-year waiting list and my mother wouldn't hear of it at the time. They live in Scotland (Dumbarton) so it's a bit outside Rethink's area I know.

She worries a great deal about what will happen to him when she dies. I wouldn't want him to be in the house on his own and he's not the easiest person to have around - his room is dirty, he's a bit smelly and he sometimes goes for several days without seeing or talking to anyone (including my mother who's in the same house!). Even if he would express an opinion on what he wanted in the future it would at least give me a starting point. I asked him (without Mum around) and he said he just couldn't think that far ahead. He's not great with conversation - about 5 mins is your maximum. Sorry if I sound a bit fed up with him at the moment.

It would be useful to know what the options are - are there options? - and then I might at least find out what he doesn't want.

Any brilliant suggestions?]]> Tue, 05 Jul 2011 10:44:57 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/3335-caring-for-the-carers/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/3410-at-the-end-of-my-tether/
Both of my little brothers have mental health problems. I'm 26 (female), they're 20 and 22. It's just me, them and my mum who live together. Thats our family really. Last April, the 22 year old unsuccesfully attempted suicide. This was completely out of the blue, ripped our family apart, and it's been a daily struggle ever since. At the time he was just finishing uni but he had to drop out as he was not in a fit state to complete his exams and had to spend almost 9 months in the hospital whilst he recovered and had various operations to try and save his ability to walk again, etc etc.

The other brother the doctors aren't sure what's wrong with yet, but they think it's a combination of bi-polar with possibly something else thrown into the mix. It has been suggested before that both their mental health problems were inherited from their father who himself tried to commit suicide when I was 16, and subsequently left the family. At the time I had to hold the family together, and bring my brothers up as my mum relied on me to do this. I have nothing to do with him anymore because of this but my brothers see him regularly.

At the time of my brothers suicide attempt, my mother was emotionally unable to cope and so I took the reins, looking after everyone and holding everything together. This affected me so much that I have only just come off of a combination of medication and counselling to help my anxiety, etc, that it all caused. I had a lot of time off work and had to do a phased return coming back in february of this year.

My brothers now both cause my mum and I daily stress. The 22 year old won't do anything, he sits in bed all day long, my mum and I have tried to get him into voluntary work, part time library jobs (he was very academic before the incident), given him stuff to do around the house to keep him motivated, nothing works. He regularly punishes himself and us, by randomly deciding not to eat for days on end, shutting himself away in his room, not wanting to do anything at all and constantly feeling sorry for himself about how miserable his life is. It sounds awful but I get so angry at him - my mum and I dropped absolutely everything when it happened, to be there for him 24/7 and he doesn't even seem to appreciate what he put us through, or have any motivation to get help. Everytime we go to the doctors with him and they offer him practical advise like counselling, medication, etc, in a really constructive way, he just shuts down and won't work with us at all.

As if this is not enough, the 20 year old is worse. He has been on massive combinations of medication for about a year now. He dropped out of uni saying it was too much for him to cope with, and now he sits on the sofa all day, doing nothing but playing his ds. He doesn't wash, help out, even bother to have a conversation with any of us. He sits and sleeps on the couch so never even moves. The only time he ever gets up is to use the loo, make himself some food, or walk to the garage to get cigarettes. Apart from this he goes out about once a week with friends, drinks so heavily that he ends up calling my mum at 2, 3am in the mornings (when we've both got work the next day) and says he doesnt know where he is/someone is trying to stab him/ someone is trying to get him to go to a park with him/ etc etc, so that my mum or I have to drive to the town centre and drive around until we eventually find him. We get no thanks for this whatsoever - but i'm not looking for thanks. I just want him to help out. He doesn't even clear up plates/wrappers/glasses.

My mum panders to both of them, she would probably wipe their bums for them if they asked her to. She clears up after them every day, does everything for them, and then she gets so stressed that she takes it out on me. I work full time, pay rent (the only child that does either of these things) I clear up after myself, and if I leave just one unwashed glass on the kitchen side for half an hour my mum says 'oh aren't you going to wash that up' - bearing in mind I'm usually unsure how she realises given that the entire downstairs of our house is now, thanks to my brothers, basically a hovel filled with unwashed dishes, carrier bags, shoes and clothes thrown everywhere.

The past few weeks I've tried to cope by just shutting myself off from them, getting in from work and going straight to my room, and not leaving my room until the next morning when I go to work. But last night it came to a head, my brother again went out and got paraletic, rang the house phone at 2am with the usual I dont know where I am mum story, despite my mum telling me she wasn't going to pick him up whenever he requests anymore she spent an hour on the phone to him trying to find out where he was, asking him if he was on something (drugs, etc). I just flipped. I called the local police and asked them to go and look out for him, and then told my mum what I had done whilst she was on the phone to my brother. I of course came out as the bad guy...oh there was no need to do that, etc. Yes - because your 20 year old son is wandering around the town centre (not a nice area at that time of the night by the way), drunk off his face and probably on drugs of some sort, saying he almost just got stabbed and that he doesn't know where he is, and me calling the local police who patrol the town centre and giving them a description of him so they can keep an eye out for him is an overreaction....????

Sorry because this post I've just realised is very rambling, and moany. There's millions of other things to throw into the mix but I'm at work at the moment and fighting back the tears. I just don't know what to do. I'm going to stay at a friends over the weekend and I really just feel at the moment like I dont want to go home ever again - I just want to disown all of them as it's causing me to have a nervous breakdown. I just need some fresh eyes for an opinion. I talk to my friends about this and they all agree with me that things are too much and that my mum needs to grow a pair and read them their last rites, etc, but I always end up feeling like the bad guy at home. I need help, and urgently and desperately. I feel like I will do something stupid to myself if this carries on, because I'm so tired of this, and i have no energy to cry/fight/support everyone anymore.

Thanks for listening.]]> Mon, 04 Jul 2011 15:05:35 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/3410-at-the-end-of-my-tether/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/3369-new-brother-with-mental-health-issues/ I heard about this site after mum listened to a radio programme and told me to check it out.
I'm 24 years old, and my 20 year old brother has had mental health issues for about three/four years now.
He's not been given an official diagnosis, but has been in and out of psychiatric hospitals (sometimes voluntary, sometimes sectioned), he doesn't speak, he 'twitches and looks paranoid' and often doesn't know who he is or who we are.
I'm an adult, and so I feel I should be able to cope with it, but sometimes it's really tough. I feel like I lost my parents for a long while (they refused to tell me anything in the first year, and so I'd often be banned from visiting when things were happening) and I don't feel like he's my brother any more.
I've had issues in the past (depression and anxiety, past eating disorder and I have Aspergers).]]> Mon, 04 Jul 2011 15:00:09 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/3369-new-brother-with-mental-health-issues/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/3398-alcohol-dependent-younger-brother-with-mental-health-problems/ Fri, 24 Jun 2011 11:52:37 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/3398-alcohol-dependent-younger-brother-with-mental-health-problems/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/3356-hypomanic-sister/ Each time that she'll get sectioned again.When she was in hospital the last time she had a psychotic attack with me in the room & I don't think I've got over it yet.It was awful to witness.In it she broke 2 nurses noses.I had the psychiatrist shouting at me that she was sectioning her under the mental health act & I had to agree!I felt sick & feel sick as I write it down.
I have mover much closer to my sister due to my marriage breakdown & now find myself in the same circle of friends so this time I feel v isolated & that no-one understands.Our friends just see my sister as much more outgoing & keep saying to me why am I worried!That frustrates me as they don't realise she will
Come down from this one day.
I'd just like to hear from sibling the same as me to help me get through the next few months for my sister.I'm always there when she crashes, but miss her so very much when she's ill.I just can't deal with it.

Thanks lisa]]> Tue, 21 Jun 2011 11:39:41 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/3356-hypomanic-sister/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/2583-my-brother/ Hi, I am writing for any advice possible. My brother was taken to a secure hospital yesterday with an acute mental health issue. He smokes cannabis and has done on and off for many years but over the last 6 months he has become withdrawn and violent beyond recognition. It came to a head this weekend as i tried my best to get him to self refer to a hospital / GP, however to avail as police gained entry to his proerty yesterday and was taken to the secure unit. My concern, which I can see is completely selfish, is that he does not want any of his family to know about his condition, diagnosis and treatment. As a nurse I know he has rights for confidentiality but this just just the icing on the cake to all the emotions I am feeling right now. Is this a normal reaction? I obviously love my brother beyond doubt and want to be there for him every step of the way. It would be great to have any information and ideas about how to overcome this barrier and I can get on with being a sister. - sarah Sun, 19 Jun 2011 09:33:22 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/2583-my-brother/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/2861-sibling-who-finds-it-difficult-to-cope/ Wed, 15 Jun 2011 18:30:30 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/2861-sibling-who-finds-it-difficult-to-cope/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/2723-dealing-with-it/ My brother has recently been put into a mental health uni after he told my mother and his GP that he wanted to commit suicide. He is on a drug that has just yesterday been upped in dosage.

I have been reading the internet schizophrenia.com and rethink for two days solid, and am fully committed to helping my brother. i understand the invaluable information available on these sites/ and peoples blogs experiences are a great help

i also understand that continuous grief mode is no good. and i have an important job and other commitments in my life. but i just feel that all this pales in significance compared to my brothers illness.

i am at a loss on what i should be doing now.

i visited him today and he seemed coherent but it was the first time i had ever seen him in the mental health unit and i nearly broke down, i started to choke, it was tough for me as i love him so much.]]> Mon, 06 Jun 2011 12:38:59 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/2723-dealing-with-it/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/2495-take-part-in-our-sibling-survey-and-win-50-in-vouchers/
We want to hear from people who have a sibling – a brother or sister - affected by mental illness to help shape our new Rethink Sibs network. Rethink supports everyone affected by mental illness, and this special project will help brothers and sisters understand and deal with their particular issues.

If you are a brother or sister of someone with a mental health issue please take part in our sibling survey.

Or, if you know a sibling of someone with a mental illness please send them the link: http://svy.mk/rethinksiblings

Please pass it on to any siblings you know and share the survey with your friends on Facebook and Twitter – every response helps, and everyone who takes part will enter the prize draw to win a £50 voucher to spend at either M&S or the online Rethink Shop.

Take part in the sibling survey]]> Wed, 01 Jun 2011 14:45:48 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/2495-take-part-in-our-sibling-survey-and-win-50-in-vouchers/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/2486-my-sister/ Tue, 05 Apr 2011 13:42:35 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/2486-my-sister/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/2005-my-sister-killed-my-mother/
My sister had been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and was on a care in the community order when she murdered my mother. I'm looking to connect and share with other people who are co-victims of violence from people suffering from mental illness.

Thanks,

Fiona]]> Thu, 24 Mar 2011 01:58:15 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/2005-my-sister-killed-my-mother/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/2036-new-to-the-site-not-sure-where-to-go-for-support/ I'm new to the site looking for some support from people who will know what I mean. My brother suffers from schizophrenia and has relapsed and is in hospital. Stressful time for my husband and I and my mum & dad. I tend to do the bulk of the support when my bro is ill, but this time I'm feeling like I can't cope with it. Usual feelings of anger, frustration, sadness, guilt and anxiety. Hello to anyone else who is going through the same thing at the moment - whether they are ill themselves or trying to support a loved one.
xxxx]]> Fri, 18 Mar 2011 13:15:25 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/2036-new-to-the-site-not-sure-where-to-go-for-support/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/1203-dreaded-twin-sister/ Fri, 18 Feb 2011 11:33:03 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/1203-dreaded-twin-sister/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/1386-hi-everyone/
I google searched this charity this morning and wanted to get involved. My name is Katrina and on the 15th of December 2010 my family sadly lost our wonderful Wayne, my brother who had been battling with mental illness for nearly two decades. He died due to a complication with his medication clozaril. I have come here to talk to anyone who has had a similar thing happen to them, I do not know anyone who has had to watch a brother suffer like we did and now that he is gone my life feels empty. His clozaril was starting to really work for him and we were very shocked to hear he had passed away. I have had very little experience with others with schizophrenia and I want to understand this illness better, why does this happen to those we love? I hope that being part of this forum will bring me comfort, that my brother was not alone and that there is a future for my family after this long journey.

Thanks

x]]> Wed, 12 Jan 2011 16:04:01 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/1386-hi-everyone/ http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/1373-my-older-brother/
My name is Ally and my older brother has schizoaffective disorder bi-polar type. Although I have read a multitude of definitions and explanations I must say that I am still lost. My family has been dealing with this for 14 years and have lived through 4 "episodes". The latest is lasting much longer than the others and has been quite taxing on him and also us. I guess I feel lost because I feel torn. Torn between caring for my brother and being a part of his support network and living my life. As the years have gone by my life has gotten more complex (career, family, etc) and I am only now realizing that I cannot continue to be a lifeline as I have been in the past. The guilt that comes along with this can be unbearable at times. I feel guilty for not being able to walk him through this, guilty that my advice and care doesn't work, and well, guilty for not being ill like him.

That may sound ridiculous but it is something I feel. I joined this site to listen and learn. I also hope to connect with other siblings that may identify with my situation. God bless.]]> Fri, 07 Jan 2011 15:04:25 +0000 http://www.rethink.org/talk/topic/1373-my-older-brother/