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What is mental health?

Your brother or sister may be finding it difficult to cope with his or her feelings at the moment, and you may have heard people talking about their mental health, but what exactly is mental health and mental illness? 

What do we mean by mental health?

There can be some confusion about what we mean when we talk about mental health. Although people do talk about mental health in terms of mental health problems and mental illness, this is only part of the picture.

Everyone has mental health. It can be thought of in a number of ways and affects:

  • how we feel about ourselves and the people around us
  • our ability to have relationships and friends
  • the way we develop psychologically and emotionally
  • our ability to overcome or try to deal with the difficulties and challenges we can all face at times in our lives
  • our confidence and self-esteem
  • our ability to make decisions and to have faith in our ourselves

Our mental health is something that changes, much like our physical health can, and we can all have ups and downs in our mental health.

Life's ups and downs

It is quite normal to sometimes feel worried, anxious or upset when things don’t go as you hope – everyone faces pressure in their lives at certain times and these can include:

  • exams and school
  • finding a job and working
  • facing problems in relationships with friends
  • becoming independent from your family
  • coping with stressful events or family problems

If you, or someone you know, are feeling stressed or under pressure from any of these things, you might want to read our mental health tips on  Rethink Mental Illness' young people website, which tell you some ways that young people can look after their mental health. Although you may be reading this because your brother or sister is experiencing some problems with their mental health, you might also find things difficult at times, and it can be useful to look at ways that you can look after your own mental health.

Knowing when to get help

Having said that we all have mental health and that this can go up and down, it’s also important to understand when someone might need to get some help or support with how they are feeling.

You may have visited the Siblings Network because you have noticed that your brother or sister is finding it harder to deal with things than usual, and it may be that they need to get some help or support with how they are feeling – or perhaps that they are experiencing a more serious problem with their mental health.

If your brother or sister is experiencing worries, anxieties and difficult feelings that have started to seriously affect their ability to get on with everyday life, for instance if your sibling:

  • is not able to study and go to school
  • does not eat or sleep as they normally do
  • finds it hard to go out with their friends or take part in their favourite hobbies
  • does not seem to care about their appearance or personal hygiene as much as before

and these feelings last for a few weeks or more, then it might be that they have a mental health problem or disorder and need to get some advice and help.

Where can you go for help?

It may be that your sibling is already receiving help from a counsellor, GP or mental health team. If they are already involved with a social worker or mental health team, you might like to ask if you can come along to an appointment with your sibling, or you might like to ask your parents or your sibling's mental health workers for more information so you can understand what your sibling is experiencing and the help they are receiving.

However, it may be that you are worried about your brother or sister and they are not yet receiving any help.

The first step can be to:

  • talk to your parents about your worries
  • talk to a teacher or counsellor at school
You or your family might find it useful to contact Rethink’s Advice and Information Service by calling 0300 5000 927 / 020 7840 3188 or emailing advice@rethink.org. They will be able to suggest ways that you can get help for your brother or sister, and for yourselves.