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How can I help my brother or sister?

When your brother or sister is having difficulties with their mental health, it can be difficult to know what you can do to help them. Although they may need support and help in the form of medication, talking therapies or a combination of both, there are also some things that you can do to help them.

Talking and listening

Encouraging your brother or sister to talk through how they are feeling can help them to feel less on their own and isolated. Listening to them without judging what they say, being sympathetic and patient and taking time to talk with them are all things that can help.

Depending on the type of mental illness your sibling is experiencing, they may or may not realise that they are experiencing mental ill health to begin with, and in some cases it may be difficult to talk to them about how they are feeling or what they are thinking. Simply showing that you are there to listen when they are ready to talk can give them the opportunity to open up, or to seek help.

If your sibling does talk to you about how they are feeling and you are worried about them, you might like to encourage them to talk to a trusted adult, parent, school counsellor or teacher about their feelings.

If your sibling is reluctant to seek help, and you still feel worried about them, it is ok to tell them that you need to share your concerns and get advice from a trusted adult, and it is not betraying a trust and can help them to feel supported.

Spending time with your sibling

three friends, 2 girls, one boy, talkingYour sibling might be feeling isolated and finding it hard to go out to see friends or family. Sometimes experiencing mental health problems can make someone find it difficult to be sociable and by withdrawing, they can lose their confidence in social situations. You could offer to go out with your brother or sister to meet up with friends, or do something else that you enjoy.

It can help to try and see how they are feeling by offering different options and asking what they would like to do, for instance, if they are finding it hard to cope with seeing lots of friends together, your sibling might prefer to go out just the two of you, or meet up with a few close friends or relatives, or if they would prefer to do something social which involves activities, you might like to take a day to play sport in the park or go to the cinema.

You might have to accept at certain times that your sibling will not want to do these things, but it can help them to know that you have offered to be there when they do.

Keeping fit and healthy

Girl with FrisbeeEating healthy food and exercising, as well as learning some relaxation techniques are all good ways of staying healthy, both physically and mentally.

You might like to join an exercise class or try out a new sport that you and your sibling are both interested in, or perhaps you could go for a run or play games that you like. 

Perhaps you are a good cook, or perhaps you'd like to learn more, but cooking together can be a a nice way to spend time together and also eat healthily. You could also talk to your sibling and parents about the kind of foods you like and plan things that you could all enjoy. 

If your sibling is having problems with food and eating, then this can be a more complicated issue, but it is good to try and maintain a healthy diet where you can.

Accept changes

It can be really difficult to cope when you are trying to support your sibling, but it is not working out as as quickly as you would hope. Try to accept that although you can try and help, your sibling's mental health is not in your control.

Your sibling may have a quick and full recovery, or it could take some time for them to start to feel better and manage their illness. Try to give support where you feel comfortable, while also making sure that you look after yourself too and don't take on too much, as your mental health is important too.