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Feelings of anxiety or fear

When someone close to you is experiencing a mental illness, you can sometimes experience fear and anxiety around what is happening.

The early stages

Initially, your sibling's illness can be very scary, as you struggle to find out what is wrong and your sibling and family try to get help. It can be a confusing time and some siblings fear that things will never be the same or worry that their sibling many never get better.

Finding out more about mental illness and what recovery can mean for your sibling can really help. The feeling of uncertainty and lack of knowledge around what is happening to your sibling can cause a great amount of anxiety, so arming yourself with as much information as possible can help you to visalise the paths your sibling's journey may take.

“It took me a long time to come to terms with my brother's diagnosis of schizophrenia - I felt in some ways as if I had lost him as we had been very close. It was more of a general fear of the unknown, and frustration that I couldn't really do anything to help.”

Feelings of anxiety and fear

3860 Troubled manWhen someone in your family develops a mental illness, the change from what may have felt like a predictable and understandable life to an impression of chaos and disorder can be bewildering at times, and situations within the family can sometimes feel more volatile or difficult to cope with than usual.

You might have feelings of anxiety, for instance if your sibling is behaving strangely and you feel that they may get into some kind of trouble, or because you feel like you have a lack of control or feel isolated by the situation.

The tension and arguments that may occur within your family, for instance around how to best support and care for your sibling, or how to handle difficult situations, might also lead to you feeling anxious and unsure.

It can be difficult to manage these feelings, but these anxieties can fade over time or as the situation improves. Writing down your worries, and talking them over with a friend or relative can often help, or finding other siblings to talk to about your feelings.

“I would have liked to be able to talk to other siblings in a similar situation about my fears for both my sister and for myself, especially those fears that I wasn't able to talk to my own family about.”

When to seek help for anxiety

Anxiety, worry and fear are feelings that everyone feels now and then in reaction to their experiences. They can be useful emotions, helping us to be aware of situations and respond to them. 

However, if you feel that your levels of anxiety are starting to affect you in your day-to-day life, you might like to address them by considering counselling, or finding out about how to manage anxiety, or by looking at relaxation techniques and other ways of looking after your own mental health and stress levels.

If you feel they are becoming a problem that you need help with, you might like to read our factsheet on Anxiety disorders, or contact Rethink's Advice and Information Service.