Helping family and friends understand

Friends and family can be an invaluable source of emotional and practical support, so it is important that when mental illness occurs, there is information available to help them make sense of it.


Some things to consider when talking to friends and family about your mental illness:

• When you are looking for some one to talk to, think about who has supported you in the past or been trusted with a secret. Who is least likely to judge and most likely to be willing to learn about your experiences?
• Test them with a little piece of information such as ‘I have been finding things difficult recently’ and see how receptive they are to listening to you further.
• Move slowly to allow them time to process what you are telling them, and for you to be able to see how they are reacting.
  
• They may even probe you for more than you feel able to talk about just yet. Don’t be afraid to tell them you are not ready for this. If they are genuinely interested and well-meaning they should understand.
• If some one you share your concerns with is judgemental, it is likely that they are frightened because they don’t understand. They may need a little time to think about what you have told them.
• They may be in denial or panic because they think they won’t be able to cope, that people will also think differently of them, and won’t know what to expect. You could even tell them about some of the support and information available for them, from Rethink and other organisations.
• Some one you talk to may even have their own mental illness issues that they are not able to speak about yet. If they are hiding this, they may feel awkward that you have has the courage to be open about it.
• You may have to accept that you will lose some people. Hopefully, with time and reflection, they will come back to you.
  
  There is no reason you can’t take an active role in helping your loved ones understand what is happening. Sending an e-mail with links to useful information or resources could be a positive start.
  
  It will also help if you think about some of the questions they might have and prepare some answers. Even if they don’t ask any questions and seem not to be taking your concerns seriously, it will be helpful for you to be prepared to be assertive and explain to them what is happening.