Other sources of help

Other carers can be a great source of help. Most problems which carers come across have been experienced by others and they may have creative ways to solve it. It is always worth speaking to other people in a similar situation as you.

There are a number of ways to do this...

  • Rethink may have a group near you, which will have information about your particular area. Phone 0845 456 0455, email info@rethink.org or write to Rethink, 28 Castle Street, Kingston Upon Thames, SURREY KT1 1SS for details.
  • Some people find it difficult to attend a local group because of transport difficulties or perhaps they find it difficult to leave the person they care for. If so, a pen pal is a great idea.
  • If you are interested in getting a pen-pal, write to Rethink Your Voice – pen pals, 17 Chessel Avenue, Southampton SO19 4DY. If you have access to the internet, try looking at the www.rethinkcarers.org website.  This has a bulletin board where people can discuss carers issues and possible ways forward. 

One carer writes about the difference her pen pal has made to her life:

Seven years ago was not a good time for our family – my son was in a long-
stay hospital diagnosed with schizophrenia and I had been forced to leave my
job due to MS. Friends & family were wonderful to us but everyone I knew was
busy working. Having to give up driving made both the local Rethink and MS
support groups inaccessible at that time. Where could I turn for support? I
opened “Your Voice” and the answer appeared before my eyes. On the pen
pals page a lady with a son in a long stay hospital was seeking someone in a
similar situation with whom she could correspond to share her thoughts and
feelings. Like me she could not attend a carers’ group and was feeling isolated.

I replied to her advert and we have corresponded ever since, helping and
supporting each other in the difficult task of caring for a loved-one and sharing
other common interests such as music and needlework. In one of her early
letters she wrote that six people had replied to her advert and just knowing that
someone else cared had helped her tremendously.

At the same time I answered another advert in the MS magazine from a lady
who was feeling desperately low after receiving her diagnosis of MS. She
sounded quite a character so I took another chance. It turned out that she had
been overwhelmed with forty-five replies!!!! Her solution was to choose those
with whom she felt most compatible and to write personally to all the others
[myself included] thanking us all for, as she put it, “turning her life around”.

Writing to both these ladies helped me to come to terms with my situation and
to realise that in many ways I was extremely fortunate. Joining a carers’ group
is not everyone’s choice for a variety of reasons, but the opportunity to write to
another individual in similar circumstances can sometimes provide a life-line to
people in great distress.