Looking after your own health

Carers supporting a relative with a diagnosis of severe mental illness will have been experiencing quite extraordinary stresses. Alongside all the everyday stresses associated with work, relationships, money and so on, carers have to take on board quite unexpected loss and an exceptionally difficult new role.
Informal carers are generally not used to looking after themselves. You may have forgotten how good it can be to have time to yourself, how relaxing it is to be with friends, how refreshing it can be to try a new sport or hobby.

Too often your life will become limited by the need to deal with your relatives symptoms and the consequences.

You may be physically exhausted by many nights of broken sleep, you may be tense and fearful about your relative's behaviour. And you may have to cope with all the consequences of societies prejudices and misunderstandings about mental illness.

You may even have been shunned by family members, friends and neighbours who are frightened by the very idea of mental illness.

If you are still caring for your relative at home, you may find it impossible to start looking after yourself properly. For a period when your relative is receiving respite care, this may be the first time you can think about and do something for yourself.

You may have forgotten how good it can be to have time to yourself, how relaxing it is to be with friends, how refreshing it can be to try a new sport or hobby.

Research suggests that these stresses can have a severe impact on the emotional and physical health of carers.

It is vital then, that the carer should take active steps to look after their own health and well-being. Staying healthy 

There are many ways of doing this, but all are concerned with reducing stress and with regaining and independence for the carer which may not have been possible during the acute stages of their relatives illness. Stress

There are sources of help from health professionals such as counsellors and from your GP, but there are things you can do to help your self to limit the stress of the situation, and to take steps to get back some of your independence which may help you to cope better.

Stress management techniques for carers

There are many guides available to reduce stress in general, but there is a need for particular stress management techniques for carers of someone with severe mental illness.

One authority suggests the following are important

  • learning how to recognise when feeling stressed and what causes the stressful feelings
  • learning as much as possible about the condition which has been diagnosed
    understanding and coming to terms with the profound loss the illness has brought to both the person with the illness and his carers
  • understanding how to cope in difficult situations and adopting the good coping strategies to meet the special needs in mental illness
  • learning how to prevent crises and on-going problems as they arise
    trying to maintain self-esteem and confidence
  • learning how to prepare for difficulty by coping actively in managing stress rather than defensively.