Laughter Isn't Always Funny

 It all started 3 weeks ago when the other members of staff in my division went on annual leave simultaneously. Suddenly I found myself trying to juggle the work of 3 people with new requests and calls, emails and complaints constantly flooding in. My usual pattern played itself out - I sustained working at a very high level, withdrawing gradually from the world around me, before finally crashing and burning. Like the day the exhaust fell off my sisters exhausted car. Suddenly, I just didn't function. I tried to read memos in front of me and make sense of them but it was as if I was reading Swahili and my third request for support with my workload went unanswered from my manager.
 
Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, my manager, having come off a phone call from a Bipolar client, began making jokes about the disorder in front of the entire office. That was the straw which broke the proverbial bipolar camel's back. I was such a mix of emotions - anger, pity (at her own stupidity and immaturity), despair etc that I just had to grab my bag and go. Luckily it was almost going home time, so no one noticed anything too dramatic.
 
So, I've been to the doctor and been told to double up on my Seroquel. My anxiety has gone down by a fair degree but I'm not sleeping well and when I do it's the restless, almost hallucinatory sleep that I always get during one of these 'phases.' My brilliantly lovely boyfriend delivered my sickline to work and I have spent the past week and a half job hunting and wondering how I am going to deal with the total inappropriateness of my manager's comments when I finally get myself back into the office (which I am due to do in 3 days, but feel a panic attack pending every time I think about it.)
 
When I transferred to my new department in work, I took it for granted that details of my illness would be passed to my manager. My former boss knew about it and it's on my employee record after all. I guess I should have told them myself but, as no one bothered to offer me a one to one sit down talk or introduction until 3 months into the role, it just sort of slipped my mind. But regardless of whether or not a person in a senior managerial role is aware of an employee's mental illness, I do think its completely inappropriate to fire jokes around about it. It wouldn't be acceptable if it was cancer or Meningitis, so why is it okay for a depressive illness? I am tempted to make a formal complaint, but I know from others' experiences that these things are usually quickly swept under the carpet by my company.
 
I'm wondering if any other Rethink-ers have had experiences like this in work? I was so shocked by it that it made me feel incredibly naive that I considered the woman someone that I may be able to approach with problems regarding my workload and stress levels. I'm also wondering what jobs, if any, other Bipolar patients have found they enjoy? I know that most of my episodes are triggered by stress and the stress is usually work related. If I could find a job that I loved or could at least tolerate, I know I'd be considerably happier. And don't get me wrong, I'm a hard worker, I'm creative and organised, but I just don't seem to have ever found my 'place' in the career world. And with siblings who are writers and mommys, I don't have much to follow as a guide without a born talent or a new born baby!