The swirling vortex

The therapy is still going great, I had a blip after Christmas where I missed a few sessions but I think that was just that there was a gap and it was hard getting in the stride again. I also missed a hearing voices group which is not like me at all, but I am sure those with mental illness know that some days going out is like trying to climb a mountain.

Regarding the flat situation still no change, there was an opportunity for supported housing but I knew as soon as I applied it would not work out.
It is ridiculous that if you are single you can move into supported housing or other charity housing but when you are a couple you are stuffed. We are caught in this spiral of nonsense. The council say we are not a high enough priority even though the house is falling apart about our ears, private landlords will not have us as we are on housing benefit and like I said previously charity/supported housing very rarely allow couples. What are we to do??

My CPN is trying really hard to get us moved especially as it would help me with my therapy. Me and my partner even talked about separating so I could get a decent place to live, but of course she would then be stuck in this flat by herself and it would be taking a step backward not forward.
It makes me so angry that all we want is to feel safe, warm and away from damp but it is impossible.

Of course my physical health does not help the situation and often makes me feel that if I was not so useless we would of moved by now. We need ground floor because of my health issues, and then we have pet mice which I will not give up because they really help me, and then throw into the mix we are a same sex couple and it gets too hard.
I know we are lucky to have a roof over our head and I really should stop moaning but when it effects your life so much it DOES matter.

Sorry about that rant!
Onto other things like the one and only voices.

My voices have been so terrible and I have started hearing voices from the computer speakers and the television although I have not told anyone about it, well apart from people online. It scared me so much the first time it happened, and now I try to just ignore it but I really have no clues how to while I am already trying to deal with my other voices.
I just feel like my head is swirling downward and I am losing control of my own head.

My physical health is really not helping anything, my mood always comes down when the pain is bad, especially when it stops me and my girlfriend doing things.
For example we wanted to go bowling for Valentine’s day, however my pain has been terrible over the past week so we had to call it off, instead I am trying to organize something last minute.
I used to be so independent now I have to ask my girlfriend to take me places as I cannot walk there, just thinking about it makes me cry and makes me angry at myself.
If the doctors would just help me then I could deal with it better but the GP says it is up to my psychiatrist to sort out and my psychiatrist says it is up to my GP to sort out...Someone just help me, please.

I guess that is enough for now as it is four in the morning and I have things to do in the morning. I need some sleep, some undisturbed sleep...But it will not happen.

Pyp