On your bike

 Well, I’ve been in a bit of a rut like that recently and I was invited on this bike ride and of course part of my brain was very reluctant about it and telling me not to go, and to just stay in on my own instead.  But I found another part of my brain challenging this thinking, because it occurred to me that it was completely illogical; I love mountain biking, I’d be with a group of friends who I really like and who know I have a mental health condition and are supportive and understanding, it was an easy route so lack of energy or fitness wouldn’t be a problem, plus the group was mixed ability so I wouldn’t get left behind, and it was a beautiful day. Basically I couldn’t find any good reason not to go, so I chose not to listen to the apprehension and doubt in my mind and off I went.

And I am so glad I did! I had such a brilliant time, I was able to forget my troubles for a while and just focus on the ride. I’d forgotten how much I love mountain biking; the adrenalin and the challenge and splashing through puddles and getting covered in mud. It was awesome. I realised how lucky I am living in Cumbria with the Lake District on my doorstep, riding through a valley between huge mountains it was so beautiful, and it helped me to get some perspective on things. Sometimes it is so easy to become trapped in our own heads and consumed by our troubles and we forget to look at the bigger picture. Being out there in the countryside made me realise how wonderful the world can be, and how much potential for fun there is out there. It reminded me that when the darkness in my head wants to hold me back and isolate me that it’s worth fighting it, the benefits are out there, the only difficult thing is getting out the front door. 

It is well documented that exercise can lift the mood and I definitely felt that last night, and much more so because I was out in the fresh air feeling exhilarated rather than slogging away in the gym; so my advice to anyone else would be to find something that you love doing, something that feels like a pleasure rather than a chore and keep doing it, stop and challenge your thinking when you find yourself withdrawing from things you enjoy – remember that you deserve to have a good time!! We all deserve to be happy and we all deserve to have fun. I know how hard it can be to believe that, and even harder to act on it; but last night showed me that it’s worth trying, for a couple of hours on my bike I escaped my mental illness and just felt like me again and it was amazing.