Thoughts on March

05 March 2009 | 03:57 PM

Ebony

Topics: Someone who has experienced mental illness, Health professionals, Medication and therapies, Physical health

So its March and still no referral, like I said, it was a total waste of time going for the well being check up.

Still I'm determined not to let it get me down. I'll make a complaint against the well being nurses and see how far I get.

I'm back at college studying creative writing which I love. The words just seem to flow on to the page these days, I've even entered a couple of competitions with some poetry and short stories. In general I'm feeling more positive about my illness and life is good. My biggest decision is whether to get my hair cut and coloured, my partner likes it long but my little girl is comparing me to the other mums who are all younger than me! I'll never be a yummy mummy but I could try to brush up better. Once you get passed 45 its all down hill especially on meds that make you fat.

My cpn has changed the way my depot is delivered instead of coming out to see me every week, I now have to see them at a clinic. Its a two bus journey away and I'm not sure of travelling and having to pay the fare to get my meds .It costs £5 altogether to get there and back, that's £5 I could spend on something else. Bus fares are so expensive.

Easter will so be here and I've given up chocolate for lent, I'm managing well without it as a diabetic but I do like a bar now and again. The good stuff Green and Blacks 80 % cocoa, there's nothing like it. My little girl has given up crisps and chocolate for lent too so its easier when there's no junk food in the house.I don't like all the rush to buy Easter eggs it should be about religion not chocolate gorging, I think.But that in its self can lead to problems with my illness too much religion equals psychosis or another episode at least.Shame because I like all the pomp and ceremony around Easter and Christmas ,just not the commercial side of things. I mean why do you see easter eggs in the shops just after New Year? What's that all about?

My next review is due to see yet another new Psychiatrist, every time I go its a different one. How can you have continuity if they keep changing who you see? I don't like reviews they make me anxious in case my meds are changed or they ask awkward questions. I cant say what I like as my carer insists on being there in the room. He never says anything but it prevents me talking about things . Like how I feel my illness is going or whether I'm happy with my health etc or the way I'm treated by others. I don't think they should allow carers to sit in on a review. I mean what happened to confidentiality ?

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rights

I can sympathise with you on many things. it is important for you to have religion as you say but i suggest you avoid it if it becomes too intense for you that is what i do i have a similar problem and i find that if i cant pray or go to church i just try to be a good person and keep as clear of a consecience as possible isn't it all about loving each other anyway. religion is a very grey area at times and you can belieive whatever you like if is comforting and not dangerous to yourself or anyone. my advice is to keep it as simple as possible and not to feel threated or domineered or parnoid and if you do avoid it. do it on your own terms and dont feel guilty about that. i believe God understands your situation how hard it is at times. And when i go to my doctor i pretend my mum who goes with me isn't there to myself. It's your choice who is there you have rights. i try to explain everything as simply as i can also and it helps. try to be as honest and open as you can. i know its hard when you keep getting a different doctor. i always think there is no harm in asking for something and standing up for yourself as much as you can and you need someone to do that for you if you cant. and if you are treated unfairly it's not you that has the problem its the person or people who do.

Thoughts on March

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