Happy new year...

I had my annual wellbeing check at the doctors, done by a primary care mental health nurse. She sent me for all my blood tests, took my blood pressure and pulse made a referal for ECG and a new referal for lifestyle coaching and diet and exercise. She was supposed to make the referal last year but nothing happend. That was 3 weeks ago and I've heard nothing again. I'm begining to think its a waste of time attending for physical health checks. It just seems like they go through the motions of ticking off a list , something they have to do to comply with government funding.

But in reality nothing changes, I'm still 19 st waiting for a hernia opperation with no chance of loosing weight on my meds. I'm still diabetic and struggling to keep my blood sugar under control and I'm still schizophrenic. Oh and she also suggested I might like some CBT but there's a 2 yr wait. Not much use to me  then. We filled in a questionaire about side effects which she hurried me through and put word in my mouth filling in the responses she wanted not the symptoms I actually have. Then she said I'd improved since last year which is a load of rubbish because there has been no changes but she seemed happy.

I have been having negative symptoms lately where I dont feel like getting out of bed. I cook tea and dont eat it, generally I'm in apathy. I suppose its the anti climax to Christmas. January brings something to look forward to, I'm 45 this year and I have survived schizophrenia for 20 years - doesnt time fly.

There is a mentoring scheme starting in my area and I'm thinking of joining in, a big step for me I tend to stay away from groups they depress me. It's been along time since I've joined a group. Still out of curiosity I think that I'll give this a go.

Oh by the way, Happy New Year 2009 hope you all have a good one.