My first blog

I have  seen some of my work colleagues and they have been so supportive and I know I can always rely upon them and trust them. Yes-even when I get paranoid about things! I have been doing a lot of thinking whilst I have been off- not always a good thing I know! However, I have thought of some new ways to move forward with my life and how to shake off the bad stuff from the past. I have finally come to the conclusion that I cannot escape from the past but that it is just that- the past. I can't change it because it has already happened but I can move on from it and stop letting it hold me back. I don't have to be a prisoner of my own past.

When I look at how far I have come I realise that I have actually done pretty well-mental health problem or no mental health problem. I am going to stop beating myself up so much and learn to accept myself and like myself. This isn't going to be easy but I like a challenge! Before I go any further, I think I should explain that I am a service-user and I also work as a Support, Time and Recovery Worker in an early intervention in psychosis team. I use my personal experience- both previous and current, of psychosis to help others who are going through it.

It was somewhat weird yesterday as I had an appointment to see my psychiatrist and I had to go to the local mental health unit for this. I am more accustomed to going there as a worker these days so it did feel a little strange being a 'patient' again. I used to be terrified of the place having had two admissions previously in my life but had got over that fear-or at least, I thought I had! It does feel like I am leading a double life sometimes what with being a worker and a service-user but I think its a good thing that people with first-hand experience like myself can be employed within mental health services. I really do know what it feels like to have psychosis and can empathise with service-users on an equal level. I think that this breaks down the barriers that sometimes exist between professionals and service-users and leads to improvements for all involved.

I saw my psychiatrist and after chatting about the things from my past that I have been attempting to deal with, we both agreed that it would be good for me to have some psychological therapy input.  I am happy about this as I feel that I am finally ready to do this. I know it will be hard doing it but it will be worth it-and like I said earlier-I like a challenge! So its back to work on Monday and therapy starting soon.

Watch this space!