Acceptance and Recovery

For me, I believe the recovery journey or the process of recovery, to be more important than the destination itself. It's about what I learn along the way that helps me to live a life that is acceptable to me. It's about personal growth and development and learning what works and what doesn't and putting it all into practice.

My own journey has taken a few twists and turns of late. I was in the midst of a medication change that had to be aborted and for a few weeks was practically without medication. This was tricky as I had held high hopes that the new meds would significantly improve my symptoms and allow me to enjoy life more. However it was not to be. For some weeks I was in a very dark place indeed and hope that I never return there. I will not say it was just because I was not on meds that I felt bad as I do not believe that meds are the only answer. I did discover that they are of some use though! Over the last year I have not always taken my meds as a large part of me wants to believe that it is ME that holds the reins and not the chemicals. Maybe not taking the meds has impacted on my mental health as I have had three periods of real difficulty in the past twelve months but if I hadn't tried, I may never have discovered that the medication does do something.

I am now at a point of acceptance. I now know that I will never be free of the voices that live with me so I am working on trying to listen to them, talk to them and understand them better in the hope that we can live alongside each other a little more harmoniously. I am taking my meds properly now-I have learned my lesson. I know that I will always be prone to depression but I am working on that too. Acceptance is hard and I have not felt as unwell as I did earlier this year for a very long time but I hope that I will be able to continue working with my voices rather than against them as I have fought against them for so long and it hasn't worked. Accepting the voices does not mean that I will obey their less pleasant commands but I hope that by accepting them, it will change our relationship with each other. It's scary but it's something I have to do in order to move forwards. A baby bird never discovers it can fly until it jumps from the nest. A few pointers from my own journey of acceptance and that are applicable to recovery journeys too are-

• Always remember that it's your journey and you own it.
• Remember to listen to others who have had similar experiences-they may be able to help you.
• Don't be afraid to ask for help/advice/support and to choose whether to use it.
• Remember to put into practice the things that work and avoid the things that don't.
• Be realistic in your expectations.
• Avoid denial-it doesn't help.