Hi I'm Jess
My first important thing to say to you is that you are not alone; that the fear you are experiencing or have had, is genuine. We all have experienced or will have period/s of extreme un-wellness in our lives. The following is my story and is aimed at helping you understand the uncertain world of mental health and the support that you are likely to receive. It is irrelevant how old I am, what ethnicity, gender, religion, class or sexual beliefs I have; mental illness does not discriminate. It wasn't until 3 years ago, when I did fall seriously ill, that I was diagnosed with a serious mental illness. This in itself was an important milestone in my recovery (getting the diagnosis right).
As a kid, I knew I was different from others, suffering child abuse from parents trapped in their own level of existence. My period of "self" isolation started very early. I didn't need to go to jail to experience incarceration, as I was my own "jail keeper". I invented the word guilty and in true form to a person suffering depression, centred punishment on myself. My illness spread like dry rot, encompassing paranoia and periods of extreme loneliness and self-doubt. I was suspicious of happiness and love.
I started medicating very early on alcohol but still managed to hold down some few thousand odd jobs in my life until I found one in which they issued you a gold MasterCard and was told to entertain my alcoholic clients. Well that put the icing on the cake!
Throughout my life I had periods of un-wellness, necessitating hospitalisation. At the end of the day I became a professional consumer. I had been exposed to too many other consumers' diagnoses. My decision to start the ball rolling toward recovery culminated in basic frustration, with myself and with the "old style" Mental Health Service.
I soon realised that recovery for me, meant jettisoning some life-long baggage, changing some of my behaviours, filling that empty bottomless pit of despair with cement, grabbing what I felt were my values and starting afresh; somewhere new, somewhere where I could be a kid again; and somewhere where I could have just some plain "fun".
I recognised that to help with my recovery, I would have to be on life-long medication (of course finding that is a story in itself); to get me back up to normal levels of operating.
Triggers and how they are tripped is a hidden secret along your path; more especially, in your life, who has their fingers on those triggers. Recognising signals is another skill you'll have to learn. Countering depression through cognitive means helps as well, and learning strategies for alleviating negative symptoms, pushes you along the path. Most importantly go easy on yourself; be you Christian, Buddhist or whatever, I recommend you discover your own spirituality again. I went back to sport. Nothing, I realise, is ever impossible.
Today, although not 100 percent, I have come to accept that I can achieve levels of happiness and productive output, although these have been pruned by the above. I have learnt to utilise my skills and talents to make my existence meaningful to myself and by doing so, reaching out to others.
In my present job, as Advisor and Advocate to a Mental Health Service, I am indeed privileged to work with my fellow service users, sharing with them their inner pains and experiences and along with our service user Educational Worker, contributing to change the philosophy in psychiatric care. The whole culture of Mental Illness; the stigma attached, the workforce skills required, the success stories, is changing for the better. As more people identify their struggle and become united, the more we as service users will demand our right for adequately purchased quality services, our right to be heard and our right to recovery.
Indeed I would like to say, go well and stay well; it's your right. Know full well that help, nowadays, is as close as a phone call. I hope you find this website plays an important part in your recovery.
Jess
As a kid, I knew I was different from others, suffering child abuse from parents trapped in their own level of existence. My period of "self" isolation started very early. I didn't need to go to jail to experience incarceration, as I was my own "jail keeper". I invented the word guilty and in true form to a person suffering depression, centred punishment on myself. My illness spread like dry rot, encompassing paranoia and periods of extreme loneliness and self-doubt. I was suspicious of happiness and love.
I started medicating very early on alcohol but still managed to hold down some few thousand odd jobs in my life until I found one in which they issued you a gold MasterCard and was told to entertain my alcoholic clients. Well that put the icing on the cake!
Throughout my life I had periods of un-wellness, necessitating hospitalisation. At the end of the day I became a professional consumer. I had been exposed to too many other consumers' diagnoses. My decision to start the ball rolling toward recovery culminated in basic frustration, with myself and with the "old style" Mental Health Service.
I soon realised that recovery for me, meant jettisoning some life-long baggage, changing some of my behaviours, filling that empty bottomless pit of despair with cement, grabbing what I felt were my values and starting afresh; somewhere new, somewhere where I could be a kid again; and somewhere where I could have just some plain "fun".
I recognised that to help with my recovery, I would have to be on life-long medication (of course finding that is a story in itself); to get me back up to normal levels of operating.
Triggers and how they are tripped is a hidden secret along your path; more especially, in your life, who has their fingers on those triggers. Recognising signals is another skill you'll have to learn. Countering depression through cognitive means helps as well, and learning strategies for alleviating negative symptoms, pushes you along the path. Most importantly go easy on yourself; be you Christian, Buddhist or whatever, I recommend you discover your own spirituality again. I went back to sport. Nothing, I realise, is ever impossible.
Today, although not 100 percent, I have come to accept that I can achieve levels of happiness and productive output, although these have been pruned by the above. I have learnt to utilise my skills and talents to make my existence meaningful to myself and by doing so, reaching out to others.
In my present job, as Advisor and Advocate to a Mental Health Service, I am indeed privileged to work with my fellow service users, sharing with them their inner pains and experiences and along with our service user Educational Worker, contributing to change the philosophy in psychiatric care. The whole culture of Mental Illness; the stigma attached, the workforce skills required, the success stories, is changing for the better. As more people identify their struggle and become united, the more we as service users will demand our right for adequately purchased quality services, our right to be heard and our right to recovery.
Indeed I would like to say, go well and stay well; it's your right. Know full well that help, nowadays, is as close as a phone call. I hope you find this website plays an important part in your recovery.
Jess
