Adam's blog: The Down Side of the Up Side

But, I’m not so arrogant that I’d write a blog just about how good I’m doing! There is a point to this.

In the last day or two I’ve come back down to Earth a bit, and I’ve realized there is a down side to being up. It’s a sad thing to realise because of course when you’re there everything is perfect, but you only realise you might have gone a bit far once it’s too late! Typical! I suppose the main thing is that you ignore any possible ramifications of things which seem like a good idea at the time.

I’ve annoyed more than one person recently by promising things which I can’t deliver. I have this tendency when I’m high to just say yes to everything, and this can be a great feeling, but you realise later that you’re not superman. For example, I’ve taken on too many jobs and I’m letting close friends and colleagues down by not being able to stick to timelines and deadlines. This is my worst habit and I need to sort it out, because not only am I hurting other people but I’m hurting myself, because now I’ve come back down a bit, everything’s getting on top of me. I just can’t help saying yes! I’m sorry for that, but I’m worried my apologies seem empty.

I’ve also spent silly amounts of money on social activities and pointless things, so I’m flat broke! Still, there’s more important things in life than money, so I can live with it, but I’m not sure that the people I owe money to will see it quite the same way. Even with more jobs bringing money in, a lot of it is already spent!

After being quite high, it can be pretty disillusioning just coming back to normal. That said, I am just normal, I haven’t gone below a 5, so I’m not down in the dumps about it, just feeling a bit more practical.

Has anyone else experienced this? I want to find a way of stopping myself being silly if I go up – I’ll field all suggestions! What do you think?